In the bathroom I found birthday boy Brian Chambers decked out in rubber gloves **cleaning up shit off of his bathroom floor!** Can you fucking believe it? Someone, an actual human person, pooped on the floor in the middle of a big, well-attended party. If you look in the dictionary you'll see that as soon as an act of bathroom floor poopery is committed, a party (pronounced PAR-tee) officially becomes a par-TAY! (If you or anyone that you know has information regarding the identity of the perpetrator of this heinous crime, please come forward and help us identify him or her.)
