i keep a diary

June 09, 2002

Grant Gets Beat Up

I think at this point, you all know that my good friend Grant writes a column where I have the amazing opportunity to help think up all the fucked up shit that he has to do.

For this assignment he had to wrestle a woman (people pay up to $250 an hour to wrestle...who knew?) David and I were lucky enough to be allowed to tag along and take pictures as Grant squared off against Maxine).

grant, maxine
Yeah, nothing quite flatters a man's ass like a unitard. Deeee-liscious!
i did it for science ˆ wrestle ˆ grant ˆ maxine
grant, maxine
Here's a pic of Grant talking smack before the match.
grant ˆ maxine
grant, maxine
He was talking about how tough and strong he was and mid-sentence Maxine just started in on him...
i did it for science ˆ wrestle ˆ grant ˆ maxine
grant, maxine
...and here's Grant about .25 seconds later on the mat!
i did it for science ˆ wrestle ˆ grant ˆ maxine
grant, maxine
Check out the Maxine (trained in Gracie-style Brazillian Jujitsu) looking up both of Grant's legs.
i did it for science ˆ wrestle ˆ grant ˆ maxine
grant, maxine
This is my favorite picture. I think that expression he's wearing is what you'd call "genuine panic." (Which you'd be wearing too if a giant, well-trainer wrestler was putting you in a "small package.")
best ˆ i did it for science ˆ panic ˆ wrestle ˆ grant ˆ maxine
grant, maxine
After dominating the first few rounds, Grant conceded that Maxine both better training and, um, more reluctantly, bigger muscles. He asked if she had any pointers to improve his technique. Maxine explained that Grant flailed his limbs too much and that if he stayed compact and curled up, like a shrimp, she'd have a harder time bending him into pretzelly, little shapes. Right before this pic was snapped, we heard Grant yell from underneath Maxine "Be...like...*grunt*...*gasp*...SHRIMP!"
i did it for science ˆ wrestle ˆ grant ˆ maxine
grant, maxine
At the beginning of one of the many matches, Grant had a strong start...
wrestle ˆ grant ˆ maxine
grant, maxine
...but moments later, somehow ended up on his back again.
wrestle ˆ grant ˆ maxine
grant, maxine
Look at how red his face is! Hahaha!
best ˆ i did it for science ˆ wrestle ˆ grant ˆ maxine
grant, maxine
Oooomph.
wrestle ˆ grant ˆ maxine
grant, maxine
Too bad I don't have audio for this pic, Maxine was sitting on Grant's head going "You like that you little bitch? Huh? You fucking like that?"
wrestle ˆ grant ˆ maxine
grant, maxine
Hahahahaha! How much does that probably hurt?
ouch ˆ wrestle ˆ grant ˆ maxine
grant, maxine
Maxine mugs for the cam while Grant us (his unsuportive, cackling compadres) the fingah.
i did it for science ˆ the bird ˆ wrestle ˆ grant ˆ maxine
grant, maxine
Publicity shot for the upcoming pay-per-view cable special.
i did it for science ˆ grant ˆ maxine
Added bonus (of embarrassment)! Here's a 30-second video-clip of Grant getting picked up and fucking body-slammed!! I kid you not. After dropping him like a two-foot putt, Maxine twists him like a pretzel until she finally gets him in a scissor-hold leg lock which cause Grant to do a submission tap-out right at the end of the clip (that's right, listen carefully and you can actually hear him wheezing and banging his little hand against the mat).
i did it for science ˆ video ˆ wrestle ˆ grant ˆ maxine
grant, maxine
Best. Photo Ever!
gun show ˆ i did it for science ˆ grant ˆ maxine