...that's right, y'all: FRANCES! Who could forget the septagenarian, chocolate, love-nugget that I French Kissed on my last birthday? (I'm so not kidding by the way, go on, click it. I dare you.) What's better than her cute lil' face pressed against my chest? She looks like one of the California Raisins! (Remember them?)
Here's a video of the kiss. It's a bummer because you have to tilt your head to the left and because you can only see the kiss clearly for one split-second when the flash goes off, but it's still totally worth watching just so you can hear that Sexual Healing by Mr. Marvin Gaye was playing on the jukebox when this all went down. Hahahaha.
So a few minutes later, I go back out on the dancefloor with Frances and the next thing you know we're dancing up a storm. We're all shakin' our bums and she's all holdin' my face...
Right after the kiss, I did a quick calculation and realized that if this was my 27th birthday, it meant Frances was just over FORTY YEARS OLDER THAN ME! While I reeled in shock, Frances told the sickened onlookers that "Damn, white boy can kiss!" (Check out the dude in the background staring in utter disbelief)
...and then the next thing I know, out of the blue, she's giving my bum the old double-handed grab. (I mean, check out her expression, she's making the "ooooooh" face and everything. Bonus points to Grant for catching this shit with the cam).
If you don't know her from when we danced dirty at my Goodbye Brooklyn party back in April of 2002, do yourself a favor and familiarize yourself with the background to this story right now. (Don't worry, it'll open a new window and when you're done you can just close it and you'll be right back here, kay?)
...only because this photo is the greatest. Look at who's large and in charge at the back of the caboose. Frances in the muthafucking hizzouse, you know what I'm sayin?
So I'm all out on the dance floor cutting some rug and suddenly I notice the dancefloor part like the Red Sea and this sauc,y little minx saunters her way over to me and says, "Say-hey motherfucker, we gonna dance or what?"
