February 28, 2004

Moving Day and Siege's Birthday

On Saturday morning, a whole bunch of us headed out to Park Slope Brooklyn to help Frank and Liz move out of their separate apartments and into a new apartment together. Let the taming of Francesco Picarazzi begin!

grant — We made it to Liz's a little early; Frank and the rest of the early birds were still over at his apartment packing all of his belongings into the Uhaul that was eventually coming over to get all of Liz's stuff as well.

colin — So we killed time by playing with the photo filters on my camera (Oh, and by making wisecracks about Colin's hair - but I guess that goes without saying).

Fast forward several hours later: After we'd finished loading up all of Liz's stuff into the truck (Frank's was already in there), Frank, Fatty and Liz drove the truck over to their new apartment. There being no room in the truck, and their new apartment only a short distance away, we decided to walk over. We were making pretty good time until...

...we passed a guitar shop. Grant and Colin both instanted popped "music dork boners" and wanted to go inside and check out some guitars.

colin — Colin tried out a vintage jazz bass.

grant — While Grant kept it real and opted to marvel at the "special edition" fluorescent pink, snakeskin-patterned BC Rich Warlock. fluorescent pink snakeskin??? What kind of asshole would want that?

Ahhh, gotcha. (I'm just teasing you, Jerz. You know I gots nothing but love for the Garden State).

grant, me — Even after our gratuitious procrastination (read: SHREDDING) in the guitar shop, we still beat the U-Haul to new apartment.

colin, fatty, frank — Hey! Here they are! Colin, Frank, Grant and Fatty.

colin, fatty, grant — After we finished unloading the entire contents of the truck into the new apartment, the guys took a break and watched me...

frank, me — ...try to brain Frank as he fussed with the mattress. Almost there...

frank — ...Bingo! ("Sure I'll help you move, Frank. It's going to you cost you a picture with my ballsack, though.")

fatty, frank, grant, liz, victoria lau — After a long day of moving, we all headed back to my apartment on the Bowery where Frank and Liz thanked us with pies from Lombardi's! Mmmmmmmmmm! Best pizza in the world. Then after dinner...

grant — ...we all sat down and screened the final edit of the TV pilot Grant did for VH1. Here his is giving his little intro speech

katie, siege — After the screening, I headed back into Brooklyn to celebrate Siege's birthday! (Grant cried about being tired from moving all day and went home leaving me to go alone). Here's Katie and the birthday boy unwrapping presents at the Greenpoint Tavern.

katie, siege — "Happy Birthday! You're..."

siege — "...GAY!" The best thing about Greenpoint Tavern is...

frances, me — ...that's right, y'all: FRANCES! Who could forget the septagenarian, chocolate, love-nugget that I French Kissed on my last birthday? (I'm so not kidding by the way, go on, click it. I dare you.) What's better than her cute lil' face pressed against my chest? She looks like one of the California Raisins! (Remember them?)

katie — Katie working the phones to gather a group of lizzadies.

siege — Siege, Dahlia and Crazy Lauren (former Nerve.com photo-editor).

siege — Siege's mom sent up this King Cake from New Orleans. Every King Cake has a little plastic baby baked into it (which leads me to believe you can't be sued for negligence in the state of Louisiana) - if you get the piece of cake that has the baby - you win a prize. And in the case of Siege's birthday party, that prize would be a lapdance from the girl of your choice at...drumroll please...

PUMPS! That's right, Pumps. East Williamsburg Industrial Park's only titty joint, er, excuse me, Exotic Dancing Establishment.

siege — I had Siege climb up and stand on top of the dumpster out front so he could pose with their faaaaaaaaancy marquis.

After the group had all made it there from Rosemary's, we ventured inside.

I risked broken limbs (ever see what they do to people caught with cameras in sketchy Brooklyn titty bars?) to take this quick, flash-free pic of Katie lighting the birthday "King Cake" in the back of the bar, which was served to Siege with much pomp and stripper merriment. I ended up being the lucky boy with the plastic baby in my piece of cake, and true to his word, Siege treated me to a lapdance from my favorite gal there (I'll never forget you, Shaquanda).

cynthia, katie — Several hours (and a hefty stack of Mr. Washingtons) later, we headed outside and called a taxi company to come get us. Here's Katie, Cynthia and Dahlia smoking (in the luxurious bare-cinderblock entryway).

cynthia, katie — Rowr! Sexy! About 12 seconds after this photo was taken, we watch three huge bouncer drag a shirt-less, shoeless, bleeding-from-the-mouth man, out of the bar by his legs and throw him into the street. He limped to payphone on the corner and called 911 while the bar quietly ushered out some scary bikers that had apparently beat the shit out of him from inappropriately groping one of the girls (Good thing he didn't have a digicam on him!)

cynthia, katie, siege — Our cab-van showed shortly after that and ushered us to safety! Happy Birthday Siege!