October 06, 2001

The Coming Out Dance at Sarah Lawrence

Our friend Nina (former Nerve intern and girlfriend of Grant) attends Sarah Lawrence College. For those of you who don't know about SLC, it's a small, liberal arts college tucked away in Bronxville, NY about 20 miles from NYC.

The unique thing about Sarah Lawrence is that it's pretty much a girl's school. There are a few guys that go there, but the ratio of women to men is like 9:1. Anyway, once a year, Sarah Lawrence has a party called "The Coming Out Dance." Basically, the party is just an excuse for the girls to get dressed up all naughty, invite up a bunch of boys...and molest them.

As journalists, we had an obligation to attend. So Vin, Grant, and myself headed up to Sarah Lawrence with Nina to see if this party could live up to all the legendary stories we'd heard (it did).

grant, me, nina, vin — Nina has perfect boobs. Here Grant and Lauren check them out.

vin — Vin getting friendly with the ladies.

Okay, so I'm chilling in the beer room getting a drink (remeber, this is college and most of the kids *aren't old enough to drink*, bless their little hearts, so there was a whole room set aside for all the "older" kids), and this incredibly hot, scantily-clad, girl comes up to me and just starts freaking my shit. I don't think I've ever smiled that big in my life.

Yeah, did I mention that she was scantilly clad? By the way I'm touching her, you'd think we knew each other or something.

This is the funniest thing ever. Grant Stoddard should win an award for grabbing this photo of me grabbing this girl's can. Holy, cramoly.

grant, nina — Grant takes on Nina *and* Lauren.

me, nina — Nina, me and Lauren cutting rug.

Okay, so it's like midnight, the dancehall's filled with probably close to 800 people (90% women) and all of a sudden, all of the girls start taking off their clothes and dancing around topless and/or naked.

grant, me — Caught up in the excitement, Grant and I shucked off our shirts and posed for this pic, which is hands down, the **Gayest Picture of Me Ever Taken**.

Then things started getting really rowdy. This girl was actually fucking this dude on the dancefloor. Not dancing. Not dryhumping. Straight Up Fucking. Look at him with his hands in the air...even he doesn't know what the fuck is going on.

nina — Appalled by the nudity and lasciviousness of the dancehall, we decided to retreat back to the dorms and get some sleep!