So Mer and I are walking down the street on the way to Luke and Leroy's and from like 1 block away I spot this girl walking down the street and I nudged Meredith and I was like "Omigod, check out that blonde coming down the street in a mini-skirt and rainbow socks!" We were totally checking her out and then she got closer and we realized that we'd been checking out Ellen Stagg! Hahaha. (But seriously, can you blame us?)
He was also showing off this fucking sweet outfit! A "USA" sweatshirt, Purple Camo pants, and striped, toe-fitted socks that make it look like he has Muppet feet. We bet him $10 that he didn't have the balls to wear it to go out to breakfast at the local redneck diner (and we were right).
But he almost got his ass kicked at said diner anyway! Check it: So we're in the middle of eating our meal, and the really, grizzled couple in their late forties walks into the diner. The guy is a huge, lumberjack-looking biker-type guy and his lady's wearing sunglasses indoors and has bleached-blond hair that's been permed into a frazzled mess...and she bears a striking resemblance to Sammy Hagar!
As their walking past our table, Grant stands up and goes "Ladies and Gentlmen....SAMMY HAGAR!" I grabbed his arm and pulled him down and hissed "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, DUDE? THAT GUY WILL RIP YOUR ARMS OFF!" Grant was like, "Relax, they don't know who Sammy Hagar is..." and then he trailed off mid-sentence when he realized that he was pretty much in the midst of the region that was pretty much responsible for Van Halen's post-Lee-Roth success and shuddered when he realized how close he'd just come receiving a Happy New Year's Ass-Kicking!
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