...Amy Albano's birthday party was AT THE BOWLING ALLEY! Woooooo! Rob Berliner (fellow Roxbury High School alumnus!) was as shocked as I was but that wasn't about to stop him from celebrating!
On Thursday night, Meredith and I stopped in our local bodega (that's "corner store" for all you non-New Yorkers) to pick something up and while browsing the aisles, we came across "Good Friends," the funniest cereal ever. Meredith first made friends with these two...
We love GOOD FRIENDS! The funniest part came when after we were done taking these photos, Meredith took a look at the nutritional information on the box and goes "Whoa, look how much fiber there is! The reason the folks on the box are all so happy is because they're taking totally regular shits!"
Meredith was helping planning a party for a restaurant, and one of the companies she was working with sent her a huge bag of candy and party favors. On Tuesday night, she came to my apartment and brought a ton of treats and trinkets with her!
After years and years of working at start-ups where I ended up partying WAY TOOHARD with my co-workers, at my latest job I decided to draw a line between "work" and "party" and in turn hadn't been hanging out socially with co-workers. But on Friday night I decided to make an exception and head out to a party in Brooklyn that was ALL colleagues. Here's Melanie, Dan, Kip and John cold chillin.
I'm not positive, but I think Phil might've been catching a lil' booze-induced nappy-nap in a chair in the corner of the room...but he managed to wake up and catch me trying to take his sleepy-time photo. I made it home relatively sober at a very respectable 3am happy to have kept "party Brian" safely hidden away from the people I see at the 9-5.
Later that night I went over to Sarah's apartment to watch, Monty Are I, one of the bands that she'd recently signed to her label, play an acoustic show in her living room.
The first song went off without a hitch, but in the middle of their second song, somebody busted out the TV remote and started playing a Girls Gone Wild DVD on mute. Hahaha.
Then I took this awesome photo of me with simulated "beach hair." Afterwards, I tried to convince the two of them to head westward to catch the tail-end of MisShapes, but it was already 2:30am and neither of them were having it. So I decided to roll solo.
Before she was a big shot porn star and porn mogul (NFSW, duh), Joanna used to be our intern at Nerve.com waaaay back in the day! Awwww! We caught up on old times and she invited me to come to a party she was throwing later on in the week to celebrate the release of her company's newest porno movie! Our little intern's all growed up! (that last link is really, REALLY NSFW!)
The next morning I invited Meredith and Niki the Roommate to take the train out to New Jersey with me to head to my Aunt and Uncle's house in Clark, NJ and spend Easter with my family! Here's the lovely ladies all dressed up (complete with flowers for Grandma!) on the taxi ride over to Penn Station.
I guess that's the only photo I took at Easter dinner (whoops!) because here's Meredith and I back on the platform waiting to catch a train back into town.
Enough with all that wholesomeness nonsense. Three days later and it was time to attend the DVD release party for Joanna's new porn movie, Joanna's Angels. Grant and I headed over to some club in mid-town to congratulate Joanna (and hopefully see some boobies).
Here's Grant (making the most awesomely uncomfortable face) with his former intern Joanna (awwww!) and Kylee Kross, one of the Joanna's leading co-stars in the flick.
Then, before he'd even gotten a chance to recover from the fact that his former intern was now a smut-mogul, Grant got introduced to Dana DeArmond, who is, in Grant's words, "the only woman in porn that I want to marry." Hahaha. Awwww, look how nervous he is about meeting her. Dana could tell Grant was feeling a little shy, so she tried to loosen him up by immediately giving him...
The bronksy from Dana seemed to magically transform Grant. As soon as she released his face from her bosom, he marched over to the shiny brass pole that was depressingly unoccupied (it's a porn-party, c'mon people!) and started swinging around it, showing off his moves back from the days when he and I were male strippers. (No, seriously).
...then let go with his hands and slowly slid down the pole (heh!) using only his thighs! (Tell the truth, Grizz...Did you end up taking that stripper jazzercise class with Ellen?)
Later that night, we ran into Kusum Lynn! These days she's a big shot editor at fashion magazines, but I know her from all the way back in the college days when she used to do stuff like keg-stands! (Yep, check the last photo in the entry).
She introduced me to her friend Jim and we all took pictures and laughed about how they wouldn't show up on this site until five years later. (But hey, it only took me about 19 months! Woooo!). She also came over to tell me that....
...Black Face Jesus had arrived at the party! For any of you who don't already know about him, Black Face Jesus was a guy, who for a short time back in the 2005-2006 days, used to show up at parties dressed up as, you guessed it, Jesus in BLACK FACE. His other accessories included a totally real crown of thorns, a pair of tightie whities and an American flag as a cape/robe (!!!). I'm not sure if anyone ever figured out his message, but he sure as hell entertained some people (namely, me), pissed off a lot more people, and sparked a whole lot of hilarious internet discussion. (By the way, when I Googled him just now, I found his MySpace page and I'm happy to report that he's actually using THIS PHOTO as his main profile photo! Hahahahaha!)
I went over to Black Face Jesus, introduced myself, snapped a bunch of pics, then asked him if he'd mind posing for a group picture...because while I wasn't exactly sure about where he was coming from, one thing was clear to me...
...Black Face Jesus needed to be BRAINED! Hahahahah. It's with great pleasure that I present to you this photo of me, a stranger from the internet, Black Face Jesus, and my balls.
Grant wasn't about to miss out on the action and quickly sidled up behind BFJ and introduced himself by way of grinding up behind him on the dance floor!
Then he immediately sniped him with a lightning fast "get a load of this guy" for the cam! And then, just when you thought it couldn't happen again, he pulled off the comedy trifecta...
Outside the club, we ran into Kusum who was planning on grabbing a cab and heading home. We couldn't help but notice that Kusum had smuggled a drink out of the bar...
...and asked her if she wanted to head downtown with us and find another place to keep drinking! At first she was like "No, no! I have to get up early tomorrow!", but after a lil' bit of peer pressure (not even all that much, actually. Anytime a person is stealing "drinks for the road" from a club, they're probably up to keep on partying), she agreed to come with us!
We ran into this deep graffiti on the sidewalk outside of Lucy's in the East Village. Oh man, you can't even imagine how badly I wanted to introduce its author to Black Face Jesus. (Although, now that I think about it, "Noah Rider" doesn't really seem like a good "angry black guy" name, so maybe he's actually just another white boy that does "edgy race stuff." If that's the case, he and BFJ might end up becoming BFF! (I'm TOTALLY right by the way! Check out this photo of Noah Rider I found. I'd bet money that he and BFJ were frosh roomies at Sarah Lawrence)
Lucy's was totally empty except for one Mexican dude whom Kusum befriended (and totally surpised) with her fluent Spanish. We pretty much ended up pounding drinks and playing pool with this guy for the next two hours.
After Lucy's closed, she even hung out for the obligatory "holy shit, we're drunk" slice before heading back to BK. So awesome to see you, Kusum! Don't be a stranger!
