August 01, 2003

Boys Weekend in Newport Part Two: Friday Night and the Beach

The rest of the boys showed up shortly thereafter and we headed out for a Friday night on the town in Newport.

Friday, August 1st

fatty — Friday night was also the Fatty's birthday! We dedicated dinner to him complete with complementary birthday cupcake. Hi-Five!

colin, fatty, frank, grant, me — From L to R: Fatty, me, Colin, Frank and Grant.

colin, fatty, me — After dinner we headed to some god-awful outdoor Newport nightclub that was on the water.

This guy was one of the only people there that fit-in with the rest of the crowd less than we did. I mean, c'mon, homeboy was wearing a leather vest! I went up to him and told him that he bore an uncanny resemblance to my brother-in-law (you know, the guy that married my non-existent sister) and asked if I could take his pic (when all I really wanted was a pic of his leather vest). Anyway, he turned out to be the nicest guy in the world and we ended up hanging out with him the rest of the night (and I got the pic of his leather vest, taboot).

frank — Earlier in the evening, we had spotted the guy in the middle, sporting a blonde molester-moustache and a BFLB (Bald Front, Long Back: pronounced beffle-bee), and we wanted to take his pic too. Turns out he was best friends (wouldn't you know it) with the leather vest guy and he soon joined are tight-knit group of outcasts.

colin, fatty, frank, grant — Thumbs up!

colin, me — Check out this cougar that was circling Colin and me; clearly trolling for a lil' spitroast action.

colin — One Glaswegian + One ManSkirt + Plus 14 Scotches = A Royal AssKicking Just Waiting to Happen. So when this Scotsmans rolled up on our sorry group and wanted to hang, we knew it was time to head back to the hotel.

Saturday, August 2nd

frank — During our delicious continental breakfast at the hotel in the morning, we saw this 80 year old woman who had on a big, ol' chain-link necklace. When overheard her (indiscernable from a distance) foreign accent, we started wondering if maybe she was one of the Sex Pistols' Nana. So we enlisted Frank to go up and get her pic, just in case. Once again we employed our fool-proof "you look just like my Great Aunt So-and-So, can I please take your picture?" Works like a charm.

Even though the skies were overcast, with one quick comparison of Colin's chalk-white leg next to Grant's swarthy yam, we decided we had no choice but to hit the beach. Clouds be damned, we were in near danger of losing Colin to vitamin D deficiency.

fatty, grant, mark w — Miraculously, as soon as we got to the beach, the clouds all disappeared (what little sun there was must of reflected off of Colin's white, white skin and burned them all away). Also, Grant and Fatty's friend Mark Wholley, who lives nearby in Providence came down to join in the beach fun.

grant — The water was filled with a crazy red algae that covered the beach. But don't think we let that stop us from some serious Frisbee playin', playa.

See? Look at the beach! Crazy, right?

If this picture had audio, it would sound like: "BONK." Which is the sound of the Frisbee hitting Grant moments after he snapped this pic.

grant — Yaaaaay, Frisbee!

colin, fatty, frank — After the beach, Fatty made the mistake of trying to catch a quick nap amidst a roomful of rowdy guys. Check out Big Daddy calling in for back-up while Frank gives Fatty a lil' "hot dog in the bun through the sheet" action...

colin, fatty, frank, seth — ...backup arrived in the form of Seth, fresh outta the car from Boston. (Bonus points to Frank for pulling that shit-eating grin.)