i keep a diary

August 20, 2005

Teaching English in Korea: Part Five

On with the continuing adventures of me teaching English in Korea for one month...

Saturday, August 20th

The hotel that we were using as an English school, had a little convenience store near the lobby with all sorts of goodies and treats in it, but since the children weren't allowed to bring any money with them, they couldn't buy things at the store. A few days earlier in the cafeteria, my kids had seen me eating a bowl of instant noodles that I'd purchased at the store and started freaking out "Awwww, Teacha! Soooooo good! Noodles so good! Can we have some? Just one bite? Pleeeeeeeease?" I'd never seen anyone so excited about a $0.25 cup o' noodles.

So on Saturday, our last full day of classes, I went to the store and, as a treat, bought a whole shitload of the noodle cups for my kids. They were so stoked they almost lost their minds. Best $3 I've ever spent.
Since my kids were forced to speak in English only, I figured it was only fair that I should at least let them teach me some Korean. After teaching me the basics (Hello, Please, Thank You, Where is the bathroom, etc), they decided, in honor of my soup gift, to teach me how to ask for Korea's infamous soup that's made from dog meat: "bo-shin tung." (Which loosely translates to "healthy body soup."
Remember how I told you each of the classes were named after Disney movies? Well, one of the classes was named after the movie The Incredibles and my kids kept pointing out to me that my roommate, Dan, looked just like the dad from the Incredibles. I told Dan about it and he thought that was hilarious so he decided to make himself a mask...
...and pop into my classroom and say hi to my kids. Hahaha.
Earlier in the week, our class had made paper-mache piñatas around balloons. After they'd had some time to dry, we popped the ballons inside and decorated them with paint.
Potter and Eric.
After all the piñatas were painted, the class voted on the one they wanted me to fill with candy. This is the one they picked.
Peeking inside the candyhole!
While I was filling our piñata with candy, Marissa came in to tell me that a bunch of the girls in her class had a crush on me and so they fashioned their piñata after me and the rest of the class voted it the best. Hahaha. I was like "First of all, they want to tell me they have a crush on me by creating something in my likeness and then bashing it with a stick until my candy-brains spill out?? And second of all, I DO NOT have green eyebrows."
After filling the piñata chock full o' candy, I reinforced it with twine and created a loop to hang it with, then took the class outside for their first piñata party!
Here's me holding the piñata steady while Jay demonstrates to the class what they're supposed to do.
We looped the rope holding the piñata over a basketball hoop so that we could yank the rope and move the piñata up and out of the way of whoever's was trying to hit it with the stick.
Eric donned the blindfold and went first.
Julie went next. Despite four or five direct wacks, the piñata managed to not break! (Although, it is starting to show a severe dent in the face).
We put the blindfold on Kelly, spun her around the customary three times, and she never managed to even come close to hitting the piñata.
All the kids in the class were making it worse by yelling out directions that took her further and further away from her target. So here's a picture of her standing almost in the middle of the parking lot swinging at nothing!
Jason was the first person to lock on and manage to pound the shit out of the piñata - but even after delivering a sustained beating, he only managed to tear a tiny hole in our apparently super-reinforced piñata from which came forth...
...exactly one piece of candy that Eric managed to scoop up. (At which point I tried to convince my kids that that event was over because I'd only put that one piece of candy into the piñata. Hahahahah).
Peter was next and he tried out a new strategy: Swing high until you hit the rope, and then run the stick down the rope in a stabbing motion and you'll hit the piñata. Very sneaky!
He managed to do considerable damage, but somehow, our piñata was still refusing to give up the goods.
Teacher Jay went next! More of the same: a bunch of direct hits, but no jackpot.
Hahaha. Then I went!
Same for me: Despite several homerun-worthy connections, bupkis!
Fast-forward ten minutes later, and Al finally managed to crack that evil clownhead open - causing a mini candy-scrambling riot.
Hahahah.
Jay and the kids show off their candy bounties.
Later that night, to celebrate the end of camp, we had a big outdoor party complete with a Korean breakdancing troupe that was hired to put on a show. The show was great, but right towards the end...
...it started raining and they had to cut it short.
rain
Back at the hotel later that night, we discovered that if you climbed out of the window at the end of the hallway on the 2nd floor, there was a little makeshift deck that we could hang out and drink beers on.
andy b, me
To celebrate the end of classes, Andy went to his room and got a bunch of the Roman Candles he'd purchased a few nights ago...
fireworks ˆ andy b ˆ me
...and we put on a fireworks show for everyone!
fireworks ˆ roof
After we'd finished shooting off fireworks into the air, Mike and I decided it was high time to finally shoot some fireworks at people. So we snuck away from the party, went up to his room to get some fireworks from his secret stash and then went over to the window at the end of the hallway on the 3rd floor of the hotel so we could look down upon the people that were gathered (er, trapped) on the rooftop deck below...
...and RAIN A FURY OF FIRE DOWN UPON THEM! BWA-HAHAHA! I snapped this pic just as we lit the fuses and called down "Hey, guuuuuuuys....better START RUNNING!"
Here's a close up of the same photo: I love how Jeff (the guy in the middle) is looking up all like "Huh? I wonder what they mean?" While John and Andy, who are well-versed in firework-warfare, are already scrambling to get up and run for cover. Hahahah.

Sunday, August 21th

Upon their arrival at English Camp a few weeks earlier, all of our kids received "English Camp Passports" that had info their personal info written on the inside cover and a bunch of extra pages stapled in so we teachers could give them stamps and stickers for various accolades and accomplishments. For their departure, we set up tables that the kids would have to pass by on the way to the busses so we could give them an "exit visa" stamp.
Before we were allowed to stamp their passport, we were supposed to perform a mock-interrogation (like a customs agent would do) about what they'd learned at English Camp.
And unlike the ungrateful bunch of dry-eyes at the first session of English Camp, I finally managed to get some tears out of my kids this time! (By the way, Kelly's crying because she's going to miss what an awesome teacher I was, NOT because of my interrigation techniques.)
After all the kids had boarded their buses and left, it was time for all the teachers (both American and Korean) to board buses and head to Seoul for a few days of city-exploring. Here's Bob, celebrating the fact that he'll be able to sleep in the next day.
mike doyle
As we were about to hit the road, Mike was going through his wallet and found the piece of paper with my phone number on it that prompted him to originally call me and invite me to come teach in Korea (with less than two days notice) after one of the teachers that was scheduled to come had backed out.
bus ˆ note ˆ pizza ˆ wallet ˆ mike doyle
When the other bus pulled up alongside ours as we prepared to depart, Sean got 2nd grade on our asses. Hahaha.
bus ˆ pig ˆ smoosh
A few hours later and we'd made it to Seoul!
We dropped off our bags at the hostel we'd be staying in for the next few days...
...Dan and I looked at our teeny tiny room and decided that we'd split the cost of getting an extra room after the first night so that we could at least have our own beds.
The view from our hostel's awesome roof deck.
Then we hit the streets to do some exploring. Street food!
The "South Gate." Back in the days (it was built in 1398!!!) when Seoul was a walled fortress-city, this is one of the four main gates that were used to enter or exit the city.
After filling our bellies with street-cart treats and walking around for a while, we decided to check out Top Cloud, the bar in the (suspended!) top floor of the famous Jongno Tower.
jongo tower ˆ seoul
When you get out of the elevator at the top floor, the entire lobby to Top Cloud is covered with CDs glued to the walls.
We're so living in the future.
The view from the bar was amaaaaaazing.
best ˆ seoul ˆ skyline
All the walls were glass so you could totally lean your head against them and feel like you were going to fall just like that scene from Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
best ˆ seoul ˆ skyline
Here's Lara, Michael, Andy and Mike at one of the tables in Top Cloud.
Later that night, all the American teachers and all of the Korean teachers went out for a big dinner together to celebrate the end of camp. They took us to an "all you eat and all you can drink" and "cook your own food at your table" restaurant called Carnestation. (Meat station!!)
menu
The place totally lived up to all the hype I was subjected to on the way over. It had three, huge refrigerated lines, each about 50 ft long...
...that were totally stocked with every type of raw steak, meat, fish and seafood that you can think of.
andy b, paul wisner
Andy tongs himself an octopus.
food ˆ korean food ˆ andy b ˆ paul wisner
Check out the "serve yourself" booze counter!!!
mr roh
So we sit down at our tables and start eating, and then out of nowhere, Mr. Roh starts coming around with bottles of soju (which is pretty much the Korean equilalent of sake - it's a strong, rice wine that tastes like a cross between sake and vodka) and makes us do shots!
shots ˆ soju ˆ mr roh
mr roh
Which was pretty awesome, considering this was the guy that flipped his wig when he caught all of us buying beer the very first night of camp.
cheers ˆ shots ˆ soju ˆ mr roh
andy b, mike doyle
Party time!
cheers ˆ andy b ˆ mike doyle
Misty and Khara.
Marissa.
After we'd finished eating, every two or three minutes one of the Korean teachers would propose anthoer shot of soju...
...and, as is the custom, we were oblidged to partake each time.
...thirty minutes later, and our table had gone through another 10 or so bottles of soju. Besides all of the shots of soju, I'd helped myself to a few three-finger deep glasses of Scotch and was starting to get pretty drunk. I was wondering how it was possible that all of the Korean guys (who are typically more sensitive to alcohol than us round-eyes) seemed less drunk - or at least I was until I went to the men's room and found that the urinals were FILLED with puke! In between rounds of soju, most of the Korean guys had been going to the bathroom and vomiting, only to return and keep drinking because you can't turn down shots of soju. Oooof!
Caitlin, Elisabeth and Katie.
Jill, Jeff, David Katz and Marissa.
Mike Doyle: Hammered.
Me and Mike with the two Korean teacher twins (whose names I can't for the life of me remember!).
After dinner, the Korean teachers decided they were going to take us all to a "hip-hop club" called Q-vo.
So we hopped in a cab...
...and a few minutes later, we were there. (I love how the sign clarifies that it's a "Real Hiphop Club.")
I'm not exactly sure what constitutes a "real" hiphop club, but if has anything to do with fricking lasers, this place was certainly the real deal.
laser
Yo, for seriously.
laser
We all danced our asses off and within the hour, a few of the Korean teachers....
...started losing steam.
drunk ˆ passed out
Hahaha. My Korean teacher Jay, however, was not one of them.
drunk ˆ passed out
mr roh
Things came full circle when Mr. Roh, the director of the entire camp that had instigated the binge-drinking at dinner, passed out on the street outside of the club.
drunk ˆ passed out ˆ mr roh
mr roh
I was happy to see that wanting to pose with drunk, passed-out people is an international phenomenon. The Korean kids posed with Mr. Roh, but covered their faces a bit, so they wouldn't get in trouble. After they were done showing me the "Korean way" to fuck with someone that's passed out, I showed them....
drunk ˆ hiding ˆ passed out ˆ thumbs up ˆ mr roh
me, mr roh
...how we do in the good ol' U S of A. Hahahahah. (Sorry, Mr. Roh!)
brained ˆ drunk ˆ passed out ˆ me ˆ mr roh
The Korean teachers scooped up Mr. Roh carry-walked him back to his hotel...
...while Katie, Caitlin and Andy laughed about it. hahah.
All of the clubs had closed, but the rest of us that were still up decided to set out and try to find a bar that was still serving.
We passed a bar that had an autographed copy of Skid Row's first album in the window (aw yeah, 1989!) and I insisted that we go there.

Monday, August 22nd

Monday was Michael's last day in Seoul, so we took him to lunch before dropping him off at the bus station to go the airport.
While walking around the Insedong area, I spied this sweet, sweet, drip-painted bass which I totally almost bought for the Fatty.
After dropping Michael off at the bus station and saying goodbye....
...Andy, Mike and I went to the Korean Airlines office to change our return tickets. Mike had just heard back from some friends of his in Tokyo who gave us the thumbs up to crash at their apartment, so we re-routed our flight back to LA through Tokyo with a four-day layover so we'd get to spend some time in Japan! Pretty fucking sweet, right?
Ok, this sounds made up, but I swear it's the truth: In South Korea, building numbers and street addresses are not sequentially ordered! Normally, you can guess where a building is in relation to other buildings based on the number - but in Seoul, the building next to "2 Main Street" (not that there is a Main Street) might be "2356 Main Street" and the one next to that might be "400." (I swear to I'm not making this up!)

In this pic our cabdriver is setting up a speakerphone so that the cab dispatcher can tell him, turn by turn, how to get us back to our hostel! Totaly insanity!
taxi
After a nap back at the hostel, we headed out into town and ended up going to a totally fun bar that Mike Doyle went to a bunch the last time he was in Seoul...
...called "Rockers."
The guy that owned the bar was a total audiophile with a huge record collection and he was there DJing all night. Any song you could think of as a request, he'd have it. It was pretty great.
Rachel, Caitlin and Katie.
David and I forget your name (sorry!)
Here's me popping through a hole in the wall to take this sneak attack photo with Andy.