i keep a diary

August 06, 2003

Sarah's Lingerie Karaoke Birthday Party

My friend Sarah, who used to be the cocktail waitress for Sid & Buddy's Monday Night Karaoke, invited me to her (and Herman's) Wednesday night Lingerie Karaoke Birthday Extravaganza!

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The Birthday kids! Sarah and Herman (the Karaoke Jew).
herman the cowboy jew ˆ sarah b
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Check out Ed in his Hefneresque jammies! Awwww, sit!
ed
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Buddy and Sid (still clothed at this point) manning the karaoke station.
metal ˆ sid and buddy
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Nadine and Candy!
candy
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Seth, one of the stars of "The Story That Can't Be Told", Sarah, and me.
me ˆ sarah b ˆ seth
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As the booze started flowing more freely, the "you must be in lingerie or your underwear" policy was foisted upon us.
candy ˆ me
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Sid & Buddy stripped down to their Underroos!
costumes ˆ karaoke ˆ sid and buddy
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Xiomara!
me ˆ xiomara
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Buddy (in his giant, foam Speedy Gonzales hat) and Nadine.
karaoke ˆ matt l
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Tara (in her Holly Hobby lingerie), Ed and my armpit hair. Suh-weet.
ed ˆ me ˆ tara
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Mad props to David, the only other guy there who didn't cheat and stripped all the way down to his skivvies.
karaoke ˆ david w ˆ matt lesser ˆ sid and buddy
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Tara and Howard, the dude that owns the jizzoint. (Yo, check out his necklace all bling-blinging in the flash. Wooooooord!)
bling ˆ howard ˆ tara
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Okay, after you're done drooling over Sarah's ridiculous onion, make sure you direct your eyes north for a look at the priceless expression David's pulling.
best ˆ david w ˆ sarah b ˆ tara
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Sid, Candy, Tara and Buddy.
best ˆ karaoke ˆ candy ˆ matt l ˆ matt lesser ˆ tara
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Me (my armpit hair again) and Valentina.
me
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As the booze continued to flow, Sarah took it upon herself to start shucking clothes off of the shy ones.
karaoke ˆ sarah b ˆ sid and buddy
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Holy best photo EVER! Sarah and Tara munching cutting rug.
best ˆ dance ˆ karaoke ˆ sarah b ˆ sid and buddy ˆ tara
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Noody David getting a lil' backup help from Candy and Tara.
karaoke ˆ candy ˆ david w ˆ sid and buddy ˆ tara
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Male pole dancing! Wooooooo!
best ˆ pole ˆ sid and buddy
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Female pole dancing! Woooooooo!
pole ˆ candy
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Hahahahaha.
butt ˆ lick ˆ me ˆ tara
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Herman: birthday boy and Karaoke Jew extraordinaire dedicated a lil' sumptin to his birthday counterpart.
karaoke ˆ herman the cowboy jew
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Matt and a pink leopard lady!
matt lesser
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Best night of karaoke EVAR!
karaoke ˆ sid and buddy ˆ tara
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Candy and I reminded everyone that Roxanne did indeed not need to be putting on that red light. Seriously, those days are over, Rox. For seriously.
karaoke ˆ candy ˆ me ˆ sid and buddy
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Yelena and Dan Cassanova (and a girl in a green shirt I don't know)!
dan cassanova ˆ yelena
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David dishes some tough loving to Natalka while Yelena cheers him on.
karaoke ˆ david w ˆ natalka ˆ yelena
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After your done checking out those sweet juh-juh-juggz, make sure to check out Matt's mouth doing an impression of a wet asshole. Hahaha. Ew.
boobs ˆ point ˆ matt lesser
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After everyone was good and liquored up, it was time to administer the birthday spankings!
birthday ˆ matt l ˆ matt lesser ˆ sarah b ˆ sid and buddy
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And with the spankings out of the way it was time for birthday cake woooo!
best ˆ birthday ˆ cake ˆ wtf
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Hahahahah.
cake ˆ lick ˆ sarah b
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So right when they were bringing the cake out, I got called up to sing. I grabbed the dick off the cake (thinking it was just a plastic dick) and stuffed it down my pants. Only after the song was over did I realize the dick was actually made out of white chocolate and if it wasn't ruined right when I shoved it down my underwear, it was certainly ruined when I let an enthusiastic audience member stub out their cigarette on it (see the ash mark?). Doh. Uh, sorry about that one guys.
karaoke ˆ wtf
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In case any of you were wondering what the bottoms of a person's feet would look like after walking around on a drink-soaked, ash laden bar basement carpet - here you go. Seriously, I can't think of anything grosser than this picture....
feet ˆ gross
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...oh wait, yes I can.
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When Candy and Sarah started all dirty dancing and pointing the fan at themselves (to achieve that true "lesbians in a Whitesnake rock video" effect), I knew it was time to call it a night (before I lost my tiny mind). Happy Birthday, Sarah and Herman! Woooooooo!
best ˆ metal ˆ candy ˆ sarah b