On Saturday I went out, stayed up too late, drank too much, acted like an idiot, and paid the price the next morning. Ouch.
Saturday, January 21st
On Saturday morning Grant come to my apartment bearing good news! After months of back and forth negotiations, his book contract with Harper Collins had been finalized! By the way, if you like this site at all you should really do yourself a favor and buy Grant's book! It's called Working Stiff and it's awesome. (Not to be confused the other, er, book called Working Stiff).
We celebrated by watching a seasons 1 & 2 marathon of Peep Show, which is hands-down, my favorite television show of ALL TIME (I like it even more than I like Curb Your Enthusiasm or The Office (UK), and that's saying a lot). It's about two former college roommates in their late 20s who still live together. One's a junior executive at a credit company, the other is an aspiring "alternative electronic musician." If you haven't seen this show yet, do yourself a favor and buy it or download it now! (They've since put out another 2 seasons and the 5th starts in the spring!).
Missy got really close, but couldn't manage the last eighth of an inch! (I didn't even bother trying because my tongue is so short I can barely get my top lip wet).
She hypothesized that I was able to make this face because I had "loose neck skin." Which left it up to me to prove that my neck skin wasn't looser than anyone else's.
Jack came into the back room where we were all holed up and was like "Uh, there's a party going on, dudes. Why are you all hiding out in my bedroom by yourselves?" So I explained that we were busy taking dumb pics of ourselves making ugly faces and didn't want to impose our lameness on the rest of the party. Then I showed him this face.
Jack was immediately like "Sweet! Let me me try!" This is a pretty excellent first attempt at an ugly face! He even managed to make one of his eyes drift off a bit. (Unless he's not doing that on purpose - in which case, I'm sorry for mentioning it, Jack). And thanks for inviting us to your party!
Two of Jack's lady friends that were there also wanted in on the action. I took a bunch of pictures of this girl, and this is the ugliest one she managed. (Boooo!)
Ellen wanted me to take a picture of her "giving it" to Grant. She got on top of him, grabbed his legs and then just as I was about to take the pic, she threw his legs back and fold-fucked him in half! Hahahaha. Look at the expression on his face! He totally didn't see it coming!
Before we left Jack's party, Grant told me that he had to use the bathroom. He came out 10 minutes later and when I asked him what took so long, he told me that he had to give himself "a haircut." Before I could even ask what he was talking about...
...he pulled his jeans down to show his freshly shorn pubis and started laughing manically. And that, should pretty much sum up why you should never leave an unattended Grant Stoddard in your bathroom (or let him see your book collection). Sorry Jack!
Afterwards, I went to Don Hills to catch the end of MisShapes. I was shocked to find Leigh actually DJing when I arrived! It was like the first time I'd been there in months where she wasn't hiding out somewhere!
The next morning, I woke up sick as a dog. (My sickness = Instant karma payback for putting my balls on a stranger's eyebrows). Meredith took this pathetic photo of me at 8pm the next night after I spent the entire day laid up in bed.
and it's awesome. (Not to be confused the other, er, book called Working Stiff
