i keep a diary

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When the place cleared out late that night, Grant decided to humor me one last time by doing a flying David Lee Roth scissorkick off of the fucking bar downstairs. Hahahah. My batteries were dying and my shutter when off just before he launched into the air.
last night in nyc
August 28, 2004
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After The Paddock we headed over to another bar called Carlos & Charlies. We'd been told by the locals guys that this was the place that the cruise ships brought all of their guests to and that if we were looking to touch drunk, slutty girls on vacation, this is where we should go. Who wants that? We went there for the um, wings. Yeah, the wings. Delicious.
aruba vacation part 2: car sleeping drunk driving
January 23, 2004
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Yay, local girls!
aruba vacation part 1: leaving nyc and first night in aruba
January 22, 2004
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...and in no time the scary, back-country logger/cowboy sex advice was flowing like tobacco spit.
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
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The questions!
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
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NOw that we were officially cowboys (er, or at least had ridden horses) we headed back to the Buckhorn, the local watering hole, so Grant could interview some cowboys for his "Sex Advice From Cowboys" article.
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
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So great.
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
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How fucking rad is this place? (These pics were all pics I took for his article).
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
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Here's the dancefloor of the 25 and under club on the other side of the building. See those screens on the background? They kept flashing a phone number on the screen and if you sent a text message to it, they'd post whatever you'd texted on the big screens for everyone to see. I'm telling you, they're living in the future over there in Essex! The future!
european vacation part 20: halloween in bas vegas, baby!
October 31, 2003
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And then we drove back towards Corringham to the White Lion Pub in Fobbing to meet up Grant's dad and...
european vacation part 19: a day in essex
October 31, 2003
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This pub is crazy old. There was a plaque on wall over by these dudes (that were dressed like they'd just gotten back from a goddamned foxhunt) that told about how it was the meeting point for the Peasant's Revolution in 1381.
european vacation part 19: a day in essex
October 31, 2003
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Here you can see Michael hi-fiving his friends ("And then I told them to fuck off before I kicked their American asses!") while my dreamgirl chats with her friend about how she wishes her friend would stop coming between her and her future husband.
european vacation part 14: the buddha cafe.
October 27, 2003
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Crowd shot.
european vacation part 14: the buddha cafe.
October 27, 2003
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But hey, at least the new place had lasers.
european vacation part 7: first day in crete!.
October 24, 2003
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Buddha Cafe, the first place we popped into, was booming. But as we'd been told, we'd arrived in Crete about a week past the end of the "tourist season" and excluding a few people that we managed to pick out as fellow travelers, 98% of the people there were Cretan (the photo above represents the one, small clique of foreigners we saw out that night).

So concerning the locals, the first thing you should know is that Cretan women are among the prettiest I've ever seen in the world. Seriously, we were blown away. Here's the breakdown: 80% of them are drop dead gorgeous. 10% of them are just regular gorgeous. And the remaining 10% are maybe a little funny in the face, but they've still got ridiculous bums. Which brings me to point number two: 100% of Cretan girls have badonkadonk, J-Lo, pornstar asses. When viewed from the side, all of their bums look like the letter C. We nearly lost our tiny minds. We were like how could we not have heard about the asses here? Which brings me to the last point about Cretan girls: 100% of them wanted to have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH THE FOUR OF US.

Chris talked to some of the local boys in Greek and then he explained to us that because Rethymnon is a tourism town, it's apparently taboo for the local girls to be interested in visiting boys because all the local boys will think she is a slut and won't want anything to do with her. *sniffle*

I Keep A Diary Productions proudly presents a new movie soon to be sweeping theaters everywhere: I DANCE ALONE! Starring:
european vacation part 7: first day in crete!.
October 24, 2003
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After all of our lion climbing, it was time for a pre-breakfast beer *quiver*. We went into a pub and got ourselves a Stella Top (which is where you fill a pint with 3/4 Stella Artois and 1/4 Sprite. Yes, Sprite the soda. No, I'm not sure who thought to do that.)
european vacation part 6: sightseeing with the stoddards .
October 23, 2003
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...special guest star (via the magic of Photoshop)...[drumroll please]
boys weekend in newport part four: race back to nyc
August 01, 2003
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Clearly, none of them are showing their tits.
guest bartending at iggy's keltic lounge
May 08, 2003
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The crowd. Yay.
random february pics
February, 2003
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Early evening at Pierot. The free booze was flowing like mud at this point so a few us told the bartenter to just keep putting shots of vodka on the bar and we started passing them out throughout the party. Things go ugly quick.
nerve and spring streets' holiday party
January 16, 2003
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Meanwhile, as we busied ourselves with food, the dancefloor started HEATIN' UP sumptin' fierce.
abbey's christening
August 24, 2002