...and that later that night we went to Jamie's Ball. (Which is the name of my fried Jamie Kirkpatrick's benefit party he holds every year to raise money for testicular cancer after he lost one of his boys to the disease a few years back). I try to go every year - because it's one of the few times of the year I can donate to charity and make testicular double-entendres all night. (But I'm not even the worst offender, check out the Jamie's Ball website and watch the video he's got there).
Jamie's friend saw me braining (aka "putting my nuts on") the portrait of teen-Jamie and was like "Hey, take a picture of me braining Jamie!" He fished around in his zipper for a minute or two but in the end, he, um, lacked the balls.
On Saturday night we headed over to Jamie's 3rd Annual "Ball." (He lost one of his fellers to testicular cancer - "Yep, cancer o' them ol' testes" - a few years back and has since started throwing a party to celebrate the fact that he's alive and to raise money for cancer research.
...Buddy said "Allright gentlemen, now please put your hands together for Vixen who will be the first of many girls to help Jamie forget that he's getting married in a few short days!" At this point, Candy came up on stage and started undressing a totally duped Jamie.
Then there were like "Allright gentlement, we've got a special bachelor guest tonight - everybody please welcome JAMIE!" After guiding him up on stage...
It took him the better part of a minute to figure out how he'd been duped. Here's Matt (er, I mean Sid) shaking his hand and handing over the karaoke mic so that Jamie could...
"Drop 'em, whiteboy!" After Jamie had received a few "undie only" wacks with the paddle, Candy faced him to the crowd and brought him center stage and Buddy on the mic (still doing his "stripclub emcee" voice) asked him, "Allright Jamie, are you ready to see what else we have in store for you? TAKE OFF THE BLINDFOLD!" Jamie took off the blindfold expecting to see a bunch of naked girls in some club in Queens and instead...
Inside Remote Lounge are ALL OF JAMIE'S FRIENDS who are all in on the joke. When we got the word that they were bringing the blindfolded Jamie in, Sid and Buddy (who had stripbar music playing - think Crue, G&R, etc) got on the microphone and in their best Stripclub Emcee voice were like "Allright gentlemen, that was Cinnamon! Put your hands together for her!" And all of the guys (keep in mind the girls weren't allowed to make noise) yelled and clapped.
...summon Leila back up onstage to accompany him with some "rock slut" dancing during his amazing version of the classic Mr. Big metal ballad "To Be With You."
Jamie Kirkpatrick brough some delicious birthday Pocky! (For those of you not in tha know, Pocky is a brand of all these different flavored cracker sticks that are usually dipped in something delightful. Grant's shown holding the mint-chocolate variety here).
Jamie and I were quick to follow. Mad props to Jamie - homeboy survived testicular cancer was brave enough (or drunk enough - probably a bit of both) to take out his one ball! (Stop looking! You can't tell).
Here's Jamie singing "Bohemian Rhapsody" - and somewhere in the middle of the song, someone just handed me the most memorable children's toy in recent years...The Giant Hulk Fist.
Jamie, Jen and Emily. Real quick, y'all should know that I met Jamie and Jen because of this site! (Jamie googled a former co-worker of his and found pic of her on this site - after he read through it, he found pictures of Laurie Choi! So emailed me and was like "You don't know me, but we have friends in common and we should hang out! PS - I'm not gay!")
Ok, if you look at everyone's eyes in this pic, you'll start to see that this is the point in the night where things started getting a little out of hand. (People were making similar expression back two fateful August ago, and we all know what happened THAT night.) Clockwise from top: Jen, Jamie, Laurie, Mark (and some scary guy in the background who looks like the Hispanic Charles Manson).
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