i keep a diary

November 07, 2003

Grant's Surprise Party

After last year's failed attempt to actually surprise Grant with his surprise party, we decided we'd try one more time.

chris a, fatty, grant, john craven
John Craven, Fatty, Chris and myself met up with Grant for a lil' birthday dinner at Cafe Gitane in Soho.
chris a ˆ fatty ˆ grant ˆ john craven
fatty, grant
Is it just me or does Fatty look like a ten year-old wearing Gene Wilder's Mr. Wonka wig from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?
fatty ˆ grant
chris a, me
After we finished eating, the plan was for Emma and Lorelei to call and say that we should meet them at the Sunburned Cow, a bar all the way over on Avenue C. We'd try to arrive right at 10pm, and everyone would jump out yell "Surprise!" (hopefully both surprising Grant and scaring the living shit out of him simutaneously).
food ˆ tongue ˆ chris a ˆ me
fatty, grant, john craven
As you can tell by his face in this photo, Grant knew something was up. Emma and Lo called as planned, but dinner was taking too long. As I kept trying to rush things along, Grant kept saying things like "Why the rush? Why are we in such a hurry?" All smarmy-like.
birthday ˆ fatty ˆ grant ˆ john craven
fatty
On the walk over we tried to distract Grant from wondering if he was on his way to a surprise party by having a contest to see who could most closely mimic the running and jumping mural figures on 2nd St between B & C. Here's Fatty's attempt.
mime ˆ mural ˆ fatty
grant
Then the birthday boy gave it a shot. Hahahaha.
best ˆ mime ˆ mural ˆ grant
chris a
Then Chris, being the "master of my own body" ninja that he is, destroyed them with him spot-on perfect impression (Well, except for the fact that he's not wearing a little brown dress). And the more we started taking, the shit was so funny that WE almost forgot that we really were taking him to his surprise party.
best ˆ mime ˆ mural ˆ chris a
fatty, grant
Hahahaha.
best ˆ mime ˆ mural ˆ fatty ˆ grant
grant, jordana, lorelei, zara
We got to the bar almost on time only to discover that the entire front of the bar is one big plate-glass window - which sorta ruined the surprise factor. So as soon as Grant passed the window, the jig was up. Here's Zara, Grant, Lo and Jordana (who came was in town from LA visiting her in-laws in the deerrrrrrty Jerz).
birthday ˆ surprise ˆ grant ˆ jordana ˆ lorelei ˆ zara
david f, grant, michael martin
And there was even a surprise visit from our good friend...shit, what's this guy's name again? I can't even remember. Seriously, if you read this David Forman, you're a dick. A big, not-returning-my-phone-calls dick. Last time this kid talked to me was to ask me to help him with his video Valentine's Day gift...which I spent like five hours on. Haven't heard a peep from him since. Dick, dick, dick. Holy Jesus Marymotherofgod, what a dick. (I still love you, though. So for fuck's sake call me if you see this, shitcock. Ok?)
birthday ˆ flower ˆ david f ˆ grant ˆ michael martin
tookie
Check out the bouncer guy in the background, when he saw me getting ready to take a picture of Tookie he quickly jammed his hands in his pocket, leaned back against the wall and pulled one of the best, smoldering "sexy" faces I've ever seen. (Bonus points awarded for that butt-chin).
blue steel ˆ photoshop ˆ strangers ˆ zoom ˆ tookie
emily s, sarah d
Emily, Abby and Sarah.
emily s ˆ sarah d
david f, ramit
Whathisface, Ramit and my hippy hair (which as you can see if finally getting long enough to start naturally feathering on the sides. Suh-weet. In a few more weeks I'll be able to start wearing those mint Jordache jeans that look so fucking dope with the brush in the back pocket).
david f ˆ ramit
grant, jen crowe, jenny k, joey, jordana
Now it's time for the Grant posing with people at the party pictures! Lorelei, Jordana, Jenny, Joey and Jen. (Holy Js, right?)
grant ˆ jen crowe ˆ jenny k ˆ joey ˆ jordana
caitlin, grant
Bwa-hahahahaha. Grant recalls his birthday present from last year. Sweet and innocent lil' Caitlin's not so sweet and innocent. Truth.
blow job ˆ mime ˆ porno mime ˆ caitlin ˆ grant
grant, jen crowe
Jen and Grant.
grant ˆ jen crowe
chris a, emily, grant, vin
Chris, the Vin, and Emily.
chris a ˆ emily ˆ grant ˆ vin
grant, jamie kij, jenny k, me
Me, Mr. and Mrs. Jamie Kijowski and Grizza.
grant ˆ jamie kij ˆ jenny k ˆ me
emily s, grant, sarah d
Emily, Sarah's eye (I'm not allowed to call her Sunny YouKnowWhat anymore), G and Abby.
emily s ˆ grant ˆ sarah d
grant, mark w
Mark Wholley even came all the way down from Rhode Island! (Ok, maybe he was actually in town for something else, but we can pretend that he's the best guy ever, right?)
grant ˆ mark w
grant, sarah l
Special guest star Sarah! (who was at Grant's 2002 bday outing).
grant ˆ sarah l
jenny k, tiffany
Jenny and Tiffany.
jenny k ˆ tiffany
marni
That's Angelina Jolie lookalike and all around crazy person Marni on the right, and um, Crazy Marni's friend (Lexington maybe?).
marni
me, sarah d
Oooooh, yeah.
me ˆ sarah d
grant, steve hayes
Steve Haase literally has to back people into the corner so they can't escape him.
grant ˆ steve hayes
grant, steve hayes
When you get cornered like this, there's nothing you can do but play along and pretend your totally riveted by what they're saying.
grant ˆ steve hayes
grant, steve hayes
It's the party-equivilent of a possum playing dead.
grant ˆ steve hayes
emily, grant
After 24 minutes of non-stop, drunken verbal assult, Haase finally came up for air (or more likely went to get another drink). Emily rushed in to box him out and save the birthday boy (check out Grant trying to hide from Haase behind her. Hahahaha).
emily ˆ grant
grant
Grant shows off Lorelei's present: a birthday hickey.
hickey ˆ grant
fatty, grant, steve hayes
Haase, while Grant and the Fatty do their best impersonations of the shaved headed wunderkind. HA ha ha ha.
metal ˆ fatty ˆ grant ˆ steve hayes
grant, jamie k
Jamie Kirkpatrick brough some delicious birthday Pocky! (For those of you not in tha know, Pocky is a brand of all these different flavored cracker sticks that are usually dipped in something delightful. Grant's shown holding the mint-chocolate variety here).
treats ˆ grant ˆ jamie k
chris a, fatty, grant, mark w
At first you thought that this photo was repetitive and not worth including...and then you looked again and noticed Fatty's ridiculous expression in the background and suddenly everything made sense.
chris a ˆ fatty ˆ grant ˆ mark w
emma
We all know it's not really a party until my luggage gets taken out. Not wanting to disappoint the birthday crowd, it was high time for the kids to make an appearance. So while a bunch of people were outside smoking, I had Grant take my camera outside so he could capture me give Emma the special "Pressed Ham" braining. Noooice!
brained ˆ emma
emily, grant, jamie k
Traumatized onlookers.
emily ˆ grant ˆ jamie k
marni, me, vin
First off check out Vin's face (hahahah)! So after getting a clutch shot of Emma with the "pressed hams" move, I thought I'd continue the streak and take one of my famous "You're posing with my balls but you don't know that you are" pictures with Crazy Marni. The plan was that I'd go up to her with them out, snap a couple of shots to lull her into a false sense of security, and then turn the camera lengthwise introducing my plums into the equation. Everything was going smoothly until...
kiss ˆ marni ˆ me ˆ vin
...Crazy Marni realized what I was up to and quick as a snake took my BALLS HOSTAGE. Santa Maria! Careful with those things.
balls ˆ squeeze
emma, me, sarah l
Me, Sarah, Adriana and Emma.
emma ˆ me ˆ sarah l
grant, vin
Grant and the Vin.
grant ˆ vin
grant
Check out the morning-after hickey damage compliments of Hoover Sharkey. Happy Birthday Grant!
birthday ˆ hickey ˆ grant