March 11, 2004

Skiing in VT and Seth's Surprise Party

Liz, Fatty and I got an email from Seth's girlfriend Erinne, inviting us up to Boston for a surprise birthday party she was organizing for him. We decided to take a Friday off, go up to Vermont and do a little skiing, and then head down into Boston for Seth's party on Saturday night. Here we go.

Wednesday, March 10th

fatty, me — Now, neither Fatty or I had been skiing in several years and so we didn't have any ski gear. We were going to buy all new ski coats and gloves, but when I mentioned our upcoming trip to my mom she said "We have a whole trunk of ski gear - why don't you boys come out and visit and you can just borrow from us?" With Fatty recently having left his job as well, borrowing as opposed to buying made much more sense. So on Wednesday night, we took Fatty's car and drove out to my parents house in New Jersey. After we were done marveling at the veritable cornucopia that is my parent's well-stocked suburban fridge, it was time to get down to business. My mom took Fatty and I over to their trunk of ski clothes, but when she opened it, there was a horrifying blinding flash of light that seared our eyes and forced us to our knees...

fatty, me — ...that's right. The one thing my mom forgot to mention was that all of the ski clothes that they had were purchased at the height of the eighties' fluorescent colors craze. Check us out! (You may need to dim your monitor's brightness setting in order to do so).

fatty, me — Hahahah. Holy shit. Fatty and I spent the next 20 minutes voguing while Pappi played Helmut Newton.

dad, me — Check out my blinging imitation Oakley Blades. You're wet, aren't you? (PS - Sarah pointed out that my dad looks like the dad from the Family Guy and I haven't been able to look at him without smiling since).

me, mom — After we were done clowning around, I got on the horn and started making arrangements to sell everything we'd just found to a "vintage boutique" in Williamsburg for $200,000.

Thursday, March 11th

fatty, liz — The next day (Thursday), Fatty and I headed up to Midtown to the Girl Scout's offices to pick Liz up (she had to put in at least a half day).

fatty, liz, me — And after we were done taking pictures of us doing things that you probably ever shouldn't do in front of a sign that says "Girl Scouts"...

...we hit the road for Vermont. We'd only gone a block when we saw this "AICHAINS" license plate. A grunge-rock vanity plate? It could only be considered a good omen.

fatty, liz — We still managed to somehow get caught in rush hour traffic leaving the city and it took us like 2 hours to get 45 miles away. Slightly discouraged, we decided to get some roadside food. And Fatty decided to make the best face ever.

fatty — Twice. Hahah. When we were passing Duncan Donuts on the way out, Fatty saw they had special St. Patty's Day donuts and decided he should get one because "St. Patty rhymes with Fatty."

fatty, liz, me — Vermont is far away.

liz — After we checked into our hotel room, Fatty and I decided we were going to see if any bars were open and Liz decided she was going to go to sleep. As we were getting ready to leave, she came out of the bathroom in this hot number and explained "Frank (our good friend and Liz's fiance) made me take the flannel cat pajamas - he didn't want you two clowns thinking anything dirty - and these flannel pajamas that, as you can see, have cats on them, will no doubt prevent that." Hahaha.

Friday, March 12th

fatty, me — First off, Friday was March 12th, so let me give a happy birthday shout out to little brother Brett! Happy TwoFour, playa! We got up a little before 8am and by 8:30 were were all dressed and ready for the mountain (PS - Hey Fatty, Captain Kirk just contacted me on his communicator - he wants his shirt back)

liz — Liz as "nordic breakfast model."

fatty, me — Here's me and the Fatster on the lift up for the first run. The first half of the day was great - but in the afternoon, the temperature dropped significantly and the mountain got super fogger. On one of his last runs, Fatty ate shit wicked hahd (that means he fell hard, for any of you not familiar with New England's quaint colloquialisms), and pulled a muscle pretty badly.

fatty, liz — Shortly there after, I wiped out pretty badly and we decided to hit the lodge for some lunch and hot totties.

fatty, liz — Later that night, we hit the "town" and had some pizza at a restaurant named after...

...a street that's two blocks from my apartment in NYC.

fatty, me — After dinner, Liz left Fatty in the room to go make a phone call. We thought she would be gone longer and so when she came back early, she was given sneakpeek into what "macho" guys like Fatty and I do when there aren't ladies around we have to worry about showing off in front of.

fatty, me — All we really want to do is snuggle down in bed together and read gossip magazines and eat (delicious) Fudge Shoppe cookies. So busted.

liz — Just because Liz caught us acting like girly-men didn't mean she was going to wear anything else but...catjamas!

Saturday, March 13th

fatty, liz, me — We woke up early on Saturday morning, thought about skiing for a half-day, but when Fatty informed us that his pulled muscle still really hurt, it was the only excuse we needed to reset the alarm for noon and go back to sleep. We made it into the car a little before 1pm and started driving to Boston for Seth's surprise party.

liz — Somewhere in the backwoods of Vermont, we ran into this cool little diner that was made out of a converted railroad car and decided to have lunch there.

fatty — Before you read the following story - take a good, long look at this photo. Ok, ready? So after finishing his lunch, Fatty goes to the bathroom when he comes out, he asks Liz and I "Hey, why can't you flush the toilet if there's a train in the station?"

Me: "Huh?"
Fatty: "There's a sign hanging in the bathroom. It says "Don't flush if train is at station."
Me: "Oh, well train toilets used to empty out onto the tracks so when a train was in the station, they didn't want people flushing the toilets which would cause the entire train station to reek like shit and piss."
Fatty: "Really?"
Me: "Yeah, it was like that back in the day."
Fatty: "Huh, that's neat."

--thirty seconds of silence--

Fatty: "So wait, why can't you flush the toilets in here?"

I tried explaining that the sign was there because the entire restaurant was decorated in a "train motiff," but Fatty didn't believe me. He told us that after he'd peed, he kept looking out the window for a trainstation to see if there was a train in it. Hahaha. In the end, I had to call our waitress over and get her to corroborate my explanation.

fatty — Who loves this guy more than me?

We made it to Boston and still had a few hours to kill. Seth is the only person that any of us knew in town, and we couldn't exactly call him up, so we instead decided to wander around aimlessly. Look, Fenway Park!

fatty, liz — Awww.

fatty — Later that night, the Fatty felt like "uhhh, maybe a little Thai, dude?" So we headed over to this joint on Newbury Street. And then after dinner we headed over to Boston Billiards, the place where we'd be surprising Seth.

fatty, liz — Here's Fatty and Liz getting ready to surprise Seth.

seth — SURPRISE!

colin, seth — It was awesome. He was totally surprised. The best part was with each turn of his head he'd spot another group of friends that were there and was more surprised with each new realization.

seth — Erinne (the mastermind planner) and the Birthday Boy!

fatty, seth — Cake time.

seth — Happy Thirtythree, you sexy-ass scuba man!

seth — As anyone who's been to TheManHole.com can attest, this certainly isn't the first photo on the internet of this guy blowing.

colin, fatty, heather, liz, me, seth — Liz, Fatty, me, Birthday Boy, Heather and Colin.

seth — Hahah.

seth — Seth's friends (send me their names!)

More party people in the house, yo.

seth — And more. (Send me names, Seth!)

seth — Yep, more people I don't know!

seth — Maybe co-workers? Who knows!

seth — Awwww.

Who's a big virtual-reality video game-playing DORK?

I am! On my way over to the bathroom, I spotted a lil' arcade tucked away inside the billiard hall and I couldn't resist.

heather, me — In order to move around in the game I was playing, you had to spin around with that thing on your had (which makes you look like a huge jackass - but hey, it's virtual fucking reality, dude! I might be a dork, but I'm a dork that just saved your palsy ass from INVADING GERMANS!). Unbeknownst to me at the time, Heather kept grabbing hold of the helmet and making it harder for me to move around. Very funny...YOU JERK! (Actually, it was really funny. I remember playing the game and almost breaking my neck trying to move the controller around thinking "Wow, this game is hard! It's like I'm actually having to move a real gun turret!)

colin, heather, liz — Stern Liz, Heather, Colin and Colin's hair (it's so volumnous, it's become a separate entity. In fact, from this day forth, Colin's hair will be called Bill).

liz — Air hockey action shot.

seth — When the Pool Bar was getting ready to close, Seth made the birthday executive decision that we head to some tiny, divey Japanese restaurant that has...what else...KARAOKE!

me, seth — Pass the mic around!

seth — Birthday warming the crowd up with some Stevie.

colin, heather — The late night crowd.

fatty — Fatty getting ready to ROKK the mic! Don't think this night is over! Oh, no! We're just getting started. Hunker on down in you seat there and get comfy and when you're ready, check out the rest of the night.