On Tuesday morning my GenieBidet toilet seat arrive. Yo, real talk: this is the most game-changing, life-improving $110 dollars I've ever spent in my life. This cannot be understated. The fact that most people go through their lives making shitting a "dry experience" is absolutely insane once you "take the plunge." Seriously, go on amazon right now and buy this. Yeah, sure installing it might take you out of your comfort zone, but both you (and your asshole) will thank you.
And then I took a photo of this toilet because it had a sticker for a band named "Rathole" and that's Meredith's favorite place to sleep! (The "rathole" in our apartment, not the toilet).
...motherfucking OWNING it. "Yeah, that's right, I shit. And I look good doing it. Unnngh!" (I'd just like to point out that Josh took his pants completely off so that he could cross his legs for this pic. Hahahaha).
This is why it's always better to just wait for one of the urinals to open up. Venture into a stall at a rock show and you never know what the fuck you're going to see. Is that someone's shirt in there? How does that even happen?
This photo is a perfect metaphor for what Lit's like sometimes: A turd on the edge of the toilet seat of your otherwise perfect night. (Hmmm...maybe this comparison would make more sense if the toilet wasn't also filled with vomit. Gross).
Oh, and I also managed to get yet another pic of Tara on the can. By the way, check out those smoking leopard-print panties she's got on. Wine coolers? Leopard panties? What's going on with her lately?).
Anyone who hangs out with me should know better than to think they can simply walk into the bathroom and start using the toilet while I'm in there brushing my teeth. Here's me getting the one-handed, sneaky "I caught you peeing" hip-shot photo.
Later on in the evening, we ran into David and Miye outside of their apartment on Mott Street. When I casually asked "What's new?", they got really excited and replied "Our bidet! You have to come in and try it!" Grant, being the one used to braving new things in the name of science, (well, that and the fact that he likely had a saucy ass crack) immediately volunteered to hop on and check it out.
Before David had time to warn him, Grant turned the dial marked "Water Pressure" all the way to the most powerful setting. Check out his priceless expression as his O-ring is almost permanently damaged by a geyser that could give Old Faithful a run for its money.
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