Back in Whistler later that evening, Grant and I were eating dinner outside when we watched a stumbly drunk dude briefly slow down and and artfully pee his name in excellent cursive before lurching onward. Nicely done, Brett!
Sitting on a toilet! The new "room" around the corner turned out to be a door-less bathroom! Hahahaha. (PS - Marissa, you look really pretty on the toilet!)
...Vadim had forgotten to shake his wiener after peeing (er, either that or he was really excited to be singing karaoke) and had a huge pee spot on his underwear! Hahaha.
Halfway through his song, Vadim realized that everyone that was taking pictures was aiming their camera below his waist and realized what had happened and decided to try to combat the situation by...
Part one of the operation took FOREVER! Vibeke was shocked at her inability to clandestinely conjure up a little urine while hovering over a stool in a crowded bar! She said the hardest part was trying to keep it limited to a little trickle - she was afraid that once she started going, she wasn't going to be able to stop and was going to unleash a flood on the floor. But in the end, she managed to eek out a perfectly proportioned puddle! Here she is proudly showing off her "piss trap!"
Sure enough, 30 seconds later, some dude rolled up to Vibeke trying to be all smooth and flirty. He was like, "Hi, how's it going?" and then just as Vibeke was about to answer, he sat down IN THE PISS and she started hysterically cackling and pointing at his face. (While Jay and I fell down laughing like 2 feet behind them). The guy got really confused and got up and left in a hurry. Here's the semi-dry stool he cleaned off for us!
The best thing about the back bathroom downstairs at Lit is that there isn't a real door, just two little swingy half-doors (like they had going into saloons back in ye olde wild, wild west) which enable you to sneak your camera in around the corner and take pervy I-caught-you-peeing snapshots.
...and then we peed all over everything and hit the road! By the way, how amazing is it that as soon as Grant is off his scooter and that helmet's taken out of context, he's instantly transformed from "Quadrophenia" to "special-needs escapee from the short bus."
I came back from the fancy men's room and reported that "the urinal is a big waterfall. And you pee in the waterfall." Sarah and Vicki didn't believe me so I had no choice but to sneak them in for a first-hand view.
See the arcs of pee? On the way home, I was peeing against the wall and Vin started fucking with me so I started swinging my body to the side trying to pee on him.
So we're leaving the first bar we stopped at (before going to the bar where the midget was) and we see this new BMW parked next to us...the sunroof was still open from when the kids driving it pulled into the parking lot moments earlier blasting gangsta rap so that everyone would know that even though they might look like spoiled, white, suburban, bitches...they were really hard-ass, dangerous, playas, yo. Scott (my best friend from high school) wanted to teach them a lesson about leaving your sunroof open and proceeded to void his bladder all over their car. I almost wet my own pants watching him pinching his dick to build up pressure and then releasing it to send a towering arc of golden piss high enough to actually get into the car through the sunroof. BWA-HA-HA!
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