May, 2004

The May Roundup: Part One

May was so eventful that this monstrosity of a round up had to be split up into two parts. Enjoy.

Saturday, May 1st

fatty — With Grant still away (he was in the UK and then Spain for a few weeks chilling with his family), Fatty had some serious comedy slack to pick up. Luckily, he was up for the challenge, hunchedly chasing this snooty fur shawl-wearing lady down Park Ave while making a silly "I'm tip-toeing" face on our way back from playing Frisbee in the Sheep's Meadow in Central Park. Comedy gold, I tell ya. Later that night, a whole bunch of us met up in the East Village to celebrate...

colin — ...COLIN'S HAIR TURNING 30! Woooo! Happy Birthday, Colin's Hair!

colin — Check him out petting and congratulating his birthday hair.

andy f, pepper — How much does the Litte Fatty (Dave's brother, Andy) look like the Big Fatty?

andy f, pepper — Oh, except for the whole "has a chick hugging his crotch" thing.

leah, me, vin — After Colin's party, I hopped on the nearby L train and headed to Williamsburg to meet up with Vin and check out a party Leah was having at her loft.

The place was mobbed. Party people in full effect, yo.

julia li — And we ran into Julia and Kristen again! After all the fun we had last time we ran into the two of them, we decided to hop a cab and head over to the West Side to check out Misshapes.

counter c, dennis c — After hours of dirty dancing inside, we arrived to find Counter and Dennis getting ready to take things to what they referred to as "the next level." (Bonus points to Dennis for making the best "I'm Uncomfortable with Your Homosexual Joking" Face ever.)

me, vin — Actually, looking at this photo I'm going to have to take away Dennis' bonus points and award them to Vin.

Wooo! Discolight dancing upstairs.

Sunday, May 2nd

frank, liz — On Sunday, Fatty and I headed out to Brooklyn to meet up with Colin, Heather and Frank in Prospect Park. After a few hours of tossing the 'bee around, Heather suggested we check out the Japanese Cherry Blossom Festival at the nearby Brooklyn Botanical Gardens.

The trees looked right out of a Dr. Seuss book. Every time there was a breeze, the trees would rain down mauve petals.

frank — The beauty turned out to be too much for Frank.

frank — He felt the need to climb into one of the trees and express...

frank — ...um, his love. (Frank, this picture makes me sofa king happy).

After Frank was, er, finished...we headed into some of the indoor planthouses and looked around. Here's the plant called "Birds of Paradise" that we found in one of the rainforest greenhouses.

Then we went inside to check out some of the Japanese plants on display.

Banzai!

We also watched the janitor put on a pair of pajamas and trick a crowd of people into thinking he was some sort of highly-regarded Japanese artist.

Little did the crowd realize, but this piece is patterned after the mop-stroke used to remove dogshit from a tiled floor.

Monday, May 3rd

jay m — On Monday I went to karaoke at Crash Mansion (that name still makes me shudder every time I say it. Ugh, so bad) and ran into Jay Madrick! Jay was the drummer in Wellspring, which you may remember as the short-lived band that we were in with Josh Teixeira back in college!

Hahahahah. Holy fuck. Who knew Justin Timberlake had a brother with Down's Syndrome?

Tuesday, May 4th

Remember when Fatty and I went to Ikea a few days ago? Well, the couch I'd ordered from them arrived. Sort of.

But despite the sorry-ass shape the box was in, it still managed to look decent when I got it all put together. So hey, orange couch.

Thursday, May 6th

grant, vin — Hey, hey! Look who's back in town! Woooooo! That's right, well rested from a jaunt in Spain, the Grizza met up with Vin and I at the Chinatown blacktop park to play night frisbee with the new light-up frisbee I got.

Which also doubles splendidly as a McDonald's ketchup tray.

After getting our grease on we headed over to Happy Ending for the Raveonettes afterparty.

grant — While we were in the smokey, dark basement there, Grant actually got recognized by people that read this site! Ha!

Sunday, May 9th

aunt elaine, chad, dad, grandma, grandpa, mom, uncle wayne — For Mother's Day I hopped the Linden EnJay Transit train to meet up with my parents at G-ma and G-pa's house. Happy Mother's Day! (PS - Sarah was so right on the money when she pointed out that my dad looks like Peter Griffin from the Family guy).

dad, peter griffin — I'm not sayin', I'm just saying.

Tuesday, May 11th

On Tuesday I went to see that Stills at Irving Plaza. They were fucking great.

karen marsala, me, natasha — Speaking of fucking great, I ran into Natascha and Karen Marsala in the crowd!

This is why it's always better to just wait for one of the urinals to open up. Venture into a stall at a rock show and you never know what the fuck you're going to see. Is that someone's shirt in there? How does that even happen?

emilie — Walking down to SinSin after the show, I ran into Emilie, Robert and Kevin on the street. It was Robert's birthday and he wanted to head home, but I used the lure of free drinks to get them to join me at SinSin.

emilie — Awwww, who's the little birthday boy? Who is? Who is?

Me and Kevin.

emilie — Emilie smooching Kevin.

"Hey, don't sweat it.She didn't give me one of those on my birthday either."

amber — Jason and Amber were pretty much the only other people in the place.

emilie — So once the place had cleared out, we had ourselves a private dance party for like 2 hours.

counter c, me — After leaving Sin Sin I was still wide awake (dance parties will do that to you) so I decided to stop in and check out the late night scene at Happy Ending on my way home. As soon as I got downstairs I ran into Counter and Susan. My hair was so sweaty from the dance party that Counter asked me if it was raining outside. Hahaha. Ew.

Check out Olivia Newton John serving drinks in a muthafucking unitard behind the bar. Hoo-ah.

susan — Then Susan got all dirty with her mojito. (She can get her teeth around the glass for fuck's sake!)

counter c, susan — Which blew Counter's tiny mind.

Wednesday, May 12th

nina — On Wednesday I met up with Nina at "the Cube" in Astor Place to get some lunch.

nina — Mmmmm...Chipotle has the best burritos (or at least as good as you can get on the east coast) but that doesn't mean you won't get beans in your teef.

Thursday, May 13th

matt lesser, sid and buddy — I bet you were starting to wonder where the karaoke photos were, am I right?

You were all thinking, "Man, where are the photos of people lying drunk on a karaoke stage trying to look up Candy's skirt?"

matt lesser — "Where are the photos of Matt getting his junk touched by Ben?"

carol, marjorie — And yes, I know, "How come I haven't seen any pictures of Marjorie taking a king-sized chomp on Carol's tig ol' bitty?"

kanue, sid and buddy — Needless to say this particular night of karaoke was a little more out of control than most other karaoke nights.

kanue — This is Kanue. She's from South Africa and is obsessed with...

candy, kanue — ...Candy! Every time Candy sings, Kanue ends up on stage with her trying to publicly roll up deep in her steez.

candy, kanue — "Sure, I'm being all cute while you're on stage. Holding your hand, singing along..."

candy, kanue — "...but if you don't come home with me I swear to god I'll break your fucking arm. You hear me, Candy?"

candy, kanue — And hey, no one wants a broken arm, right?

carol, marjorie — So speaking of random acts of Sapphic love, here are the lovely Marjorie and Carol. Get a few drinks in these two and...

carol, marjorie — ...strange stuff starts happening. "C'mon, let me touch your baginer!"

carol, marjorie — Through the jeans? WTF?

carol, marjorie — Pile on! Check out holmes in the background being all Cool Hand Luke with the thumbs up.

carol, marjorie — Which he manages to keep in the frame for the subsequent collapse-of-pile-on.

sid and buddy — Ok, enough with all the orgy stuff - how about we get to some singing?

kanue, me — "Yeah, Candy. Her, right there. She's the one I'm taking home. Mark my words."

sid and buddy — The karaoke love train apparently ends in Marjorie's mouth.

Now for something a little more wholesome, it's a bubble contest! Here's mine!

Here's the girl who had the gum! The gum was sour apple Hubba-Bubba and it was so tangy and flavorful that it was hard to blow bubbles because it made you drool so much.

carol — Carol. Looks like a three-way tie.

matt l, me — Any time you end up wearing a silver sparkly bandana, it's usually a safe bet to say you've had an interesting evening. And hey, the month's only half over. Click here for Part Two.