wtf + strangers

!wtf×!strangers×

wtf + strangers
...and watched this guy walk his CAT ON A LEASH in a tree! Haha.
wtf + strangers
Back in Whistler later that evening, Grant and I were eating dinner outside when we watched a stumbly drunk dude briefly slow down and and artfully pee his name in excellent cursive before lurching onward. Nicely done, Brett!
wtf + strangers
Not managing to find death on this particular corner, he bravely trudged on through the now-waist-deep water to search for his demise elsewhere.
wtf + strangers
Hahaha.
wtf + strangers
...2pm bus back to NYC where our nearby seatmate demonstrated some serious home-brewed innovations in iPad glare-reduction!
wtf + strangers
On the walk home we met these really drunk English guys who had both gotten their hair braided and one of them got a henna Mike Tyson face-tattoo! Excellent!
wtf + strangers
Just hanging out on the beach twirling my umbrella. You know how I do.
wtf + strangers
Stranger passed out in a park! 10 POINTS!
wtf + strangers
Soooo soo happy to see see-through shirts making a comeback at karaoke. So necessary.
wtf + strangers
The show started out normal enough, but then halfway through the set, this wannabe Lenny Kravitz pushed his way up to the stage and started giving Grant funny looks.
wtf + strangers
Then he turned towards the audience and started doing these weird dance moves along to the music.
wtf + strangers
Grant was so distracted, that he eventually just ended up inviting the guy up on stage. Things got even weirder when he produced a Minnie Mouse hand puppet from out of thin air.
wtf + strangers
...or the fact that he was accompanied to the park by an actual woman. Seen here hiding her face. Which I'm sure is only because of the sun. (What, you mean you'd be embarrassed to have a parrot on your ass?)
wtf + strangers
...NAKED MAN! Hahahaha. This old dude is always chilling there in a lil' Speedo-type thang and from certain angles (ok, most angles) it looks like he's buck naked.
wtf + strangers
After leering around NYU for a while, we decided to head over to the dog park in Washington Sqaure Park. We sat around playing with OPP (other peoples' pets). Then this guy showed up. What started out as a normal "petting session" almost escalated into a totally different kind of "petting session." The guy mounted his dog in reverse and spent a god-honest five whole minutes seductively stroking the animal's hindquarters. It was so creepy. Everyone in the park stopped talking and just watched him.
wtf + strangers
Once he was sure he had the park's attention (and after he'd ejaculated in his shorts) he went on to give his dog a drink of water by pouring the water into his own mouth and then letting the dog lap his fucking face. He did this like 3 feet from where Fatty and I were sitting, totally showing off for the cam. When he was all finished, he looked over at us and smiled and I turn, held up the camera and took....
wtf + strangers
Okay, I just spent ten minutes trying to think of a funny caption for this photo but have come to the conclusion that nothing is funnier than just pointing out her expression. Just look how proud of herself she is. You can almost see her daydreaming about the non-existent day in the future when one of these clowns becomes the next Basquiat and she'll have the dress all hanging in a glass case on her wall telling her friends at a cocktail party, "Well, the moment I saw him writing those squiggles on the wall, I just knew I had to have him paint me. I needed to be his canvas."

If anyone living on a farm in Iowa is reads this, and you've got some extra room in your barn or something, email me because I need to get the fuck out of this city.
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original not copied to this machine yet
After Doogie and Keanu, I thought that there'd be no where to go but down. But then I managed to snap this pic of The Sweatiest Armpit Guy Ever. Suh-weet!