July, 2005

The July Roundup: Part One

July was an action-packed month! There was so much fun stuff that this month's round up needed to be broken down into two entries! Let's get started with part one!

Monday, July 4th

leigh — Yay, the 4th of July! Like many years in the past, Apt 3A hosted a backyard BBQ. Check out Leigh manning the grill.

ellen — Ellen I know you're like a sister to me and everything, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that this picture totally gives me a boner.

ellen, scott m — Don't cry! Boners happen!

sarah — Sarah with two of her friends that were visiting town? Just recently married? All I know is that they were a super-cute couple that were totally beaming.

leigh, sarah — Hahah. Check out Sar giving Leigh the sneaky "who does she think she is trying to kiss me" finger point.

meredith — Meredith Silverman: Ketchup Enthusiast.

karen, meredith, rob hitt, seva — Meredith, Seva, Karen and ROB HITT (who laughs at me for knowing all the words to every Lifetime song ever). After everyone had filled their gullet, it was time to head up to the building's sick-ass roof deck to...

...watch the fireworks!

fatty, meredith — Mer (who looks real pretty in this photo...awwww) and The Fatty.

geordon, sandra, sarah, scott m, sheal — After the fireworks were over, everyone came back down into 3A to hang out.

geordon — Geordon totally snuck away from the party with me to check out my super dorky Knights of the Old Republic Star Wars game for XBox. Hahaha.

leigh — Leigh served up delicious veggie BBQ.

meredith — Hahahah.

Newlyweds!

rob hitt, sarah — And Sarah totally made out with Rob Hitt! Ha!

Tuesday, July 5th

On Tuesday, Leigh and I went to the new Chinese grocery store that opened up down the street from Sarah's apartment in the LES. You know you're in for a unique grocery shopping experience when the place has a giant plastic bin of assorted LIVE frogs right when you walk in the door. And the best part was that the frogs were only the opening act! It kept getting weirder the deeper into the store we went! So after the frog bin came the...

...live eel bin! Pretty crazy to watch them all swimming around and shit, but hey, it's nothing I haven't seen on pretty much every block down in Chinatown, right? So then further in we came across the...

...boneless duck feet? Hmmmm....ok. I mean, I've heard of people down in the south eating pigs feet, so why not duck feet? Ok, gotcha. I'm feeling you so far, China. What's next?

Ahhhhh! The premium pork uterus! Er, what to say here? At least it's premium, I guess. Say what you will about my neighborhood, but at least we don't sell no second-rate reproductive swine organs. Ok, onto the frozen foods section!

Yay! It's frozen pork snouts! (Incidentally, I think that was the first time in my life I've ever typed the word "snouts." What a fun word to type!) Anyway, we were pretty much laughing hysterically when we pulled this bad boy out of the freezer. After putting back the snoutsicles...

leigh — ...Leigh busted out this mysteriously coiled package. I had my money on some sort of frozen intestines. But closer examination revealed it to be...

Oh. My. God. Well, there you have it! Frozen bull penis. According to the Wikipedia entry on pizzle, "bull pizzles are almost exclusively used/produced today as chewing treats for dogs. The pizzles of bulls are cleaned, stretched, twisted and then dried at a very high heat. The result is a very hard, 80-100 cm long brown stick, which is then sawed into pieces appropriate for the size of the dog, usually 10-20 cm (this process also makes its anatomical origin rather unrecognizable)." Huh! Someone should probably amend that Wikipedia and talk about how...

leigh — ...pizzles are sometime eaten. (Unless of course everyone in Chinatown is simply making dog treats from scratch at home!)

leigh — Afterwards we went back to my new place (at Sarah's!) and somehow ended up digging up this old gem (that was given to her by some random fashion designer at SXSW 2005) in Sarah's closet. How about you turn around and show us that dress, Tins?

leigh — Voila! You are so elegantly wasted.

leigh — Hahahah. Nice face, Blinky! Brandon saw how gorgeous Leigh looked in the dress and wasn't about to be...

brandon — ...left out. Hahahahah. (OMG, no matter how many times I look at this photo it makes me laugh EVERY SINGLE TIME).

Wednesday, July 6th

On Wednesday I went out Greenpoint, Brooklyn to officially end my 5 year lease on the industrial space that I rented with some friends from college.

This is my old street. This is the place where we rented out a giant empty room and then framed a two-story, four bedroom apartment inside of! Complete with spiral staircase! (If you have no idea what I'm talking about, why not travel back in time to the year 2000 and check out the Making of Indoor Village! Parts One, Two, and Three !)

Yep, the good ol' American Package Company. (PS - Marty Koffman is a slumlord!!!)

Despite the five year lease, I actually only lived in the IndoorVillage for about a year and a half. A co-worker of mine was giving up his half of a huge, rent-controlled loft in Manhattan and I decided to sublet my room in the Indoorvillage and move to Manhattan. (See all the old school action: Goodbye IndoorVillage , Goodbye Billyburg and Moving Day!) When I got back into Manhattan, Meredith helped me celebrate the end of a 5-year lease by...

meredith — ...cooking me dinner in her bra and paaaaaaaanties! Hahaha.

Thursday, July 7th

sarah — Nobody fucks up a brunch-plate of heuvos rancheros like Sarah. Right after I snapped this photo, she picked up that plate and licked it clean.

Later that evening, Mer and I headed out to Park Slope to visit Ross and Jordana (who used to live out in LA and you may remember from such entries as Trip to California: Part 5!). Anyway, on the subway ride out to Brooklyn, we witnessed a real live narcoleptic! It was amazing! This guy would start out sitting upright reading his magazine, and then his face would slowly fall into the magazine, and then the entire top-half of his body would slowly slump down...

...until he'd almost fall out of his seat, than he'd sit bolt upright and the whole process would start all over again. It was really crazy to watch! I can't imagine having that as a medical condition. It was funny to watch everyone on the subway try to pretend they weren't totally staring.

dashiell, meredith, ross m — Ross looks like a tired Pappa Bear while Mer watches little Dash tell us about his day.

dashiell — Who's a big boy now?

jordana, me — Mamma Bear trying to hide from my camera.

ross m — Hahahaha.

Friday, July 8th

Earlier in the week I'd gotten a call from a headhunter about a job opening at a social networking company and on Friday I put on my suit (which is actually the suit I got go to a dance my sophomore year in high school that still fits perfectly...hahahah) and went in to Community Connect for an interview (I'll save you the suspense, I got the job).

emily — Emily C! Later that night, a whole buncha us headed out to Hoboken to see Fiasco (Grant, Amanda & Fatty's band) play with fellow former Roxbury High Schooler Christina Alessi's band, Hey Tiger.

bev, matt schneider — Bev and what's-his-name.

reminay, scott — Remanay (sp?) and Scott.

christina alessi — When Christina's band came on, I started laughing about how their guitar player looked like a tiny version of Scott. I was standing next to Scott who wanted to know why I was laughing. So I leaned over and was like "Look at the guitar player! He's like a tiny you!" It was really loud and Scott didn't understand me, so in an even louder voice I said, "Look at the guitar player, he's like you but a midget!" Scott heard me the second time. Unfortunately for me, me screaming the phrase "a midget" just happened to coincide with the song ending and so everyone else in the entire venue pretty much turned around to stare at me.

christina alessi — Er....sorry about that.

grant — Grant down in the dressing room...ready to rokk!

amanda, fatty, frank, grant — Fiasco

amanda, grant — Amander and Grant.

The final band of the night was called Particle Zoo. It was their album release party and they were the ones who so graciously invited Fiasco and Hey Tiger to play with them.

They even had cupcakes with their album art on them!

amanda, fatty — Mmmmmm.

There are no words of wisdom quite like the words of wisdom found in a New Jersey bathroom.

emily, me, scott — Scott, Emily and me. Aw, yeah - Roxbury High School!

Saturday, July 9th

On Saturday, Meredith, Fatty and I ventured down into Chinatown to look at all the strange stores (Munchies Paradise!)...

fatty — ...and get our weird brunch on.

We ended up in this tiny, hole-in-the-wall pastry shop and ordered all sorts of cakes, rolls, breads and steamed buns.

I pulled the old "Hey, did you know it's impossible to touch your elbows behind your back?" trick and managed to get...

meredith — ...this sweet pic of Mer sticking out her boobies. He he he.

karen, sarah — Later that night I met up with Karen and Sarah and we went to Misshapes. (Hey Sarah, I know you love My Chem and all, but really?) Hahahahah.

leigh — No one knows how to "fashion up" a wrist-brace quite like lil' miss Leigh Lezark. Hahah.

Monday, July 11th

leigh — On Monday, Leigh and I got all "fitness" and decided to try to be work out buddies at the gym.

leigh — She's a bad workout influence! Not only did we leave the gym early because her "wrist hurt," she also managed to talk me into eating a "big bag" of Honey Roasted Cashews immediately afterwards (not that I really needed all that much convincing). You evil little treat hound!

meredith — Dear Lombardi's, I <3 you.

Tuesday, July 12th

leigh — On Tuesday, Leigh and I went to Thompkin Square to people watch (er, ok...and to work on our tans). So we're sitting there, minding our own business and then this guy shows up to the park with...

His pet parrot??? Yep, that's right. A parrot. Let me zoom in a little bit more so you can get a better looksie.

Huh. I don't know what which surprises me most: The fact that he brought his parrot to the park (complete with a little travel parrot-perch!), the fact that he decided to strip down to his undies and play with his parrot...

...or the fact that he was accompanied to the park by an actual woman. Seen here hiding her face. Which I'm sure is only because of the sun. (What, you mean you'd be embarrassed to have a parrot on your ass?)

Wednesday, July 13th

dad — On Tuesday night I took the train out to NJ to hang out with my parents and spend some time with my Aunt Barb (my mom's sister) and my Uncle Tom (my dad's college roommate!) who were in town visiting from New Mexico. On Wednesday we piled into the car and took a trip to...

...Ellis Island!

uncle tom — My Uncle Tom on the ferry. (Best photo. Hahaha).

Look kids, the Statue of Liberty!

Ellis Island.

Uncle Tom and the back of Aunt Barb's head. (Sorry, Aunt Barb! I can't believe we spent the whole day together and I don't have a photo of you.) We all wanted to check out the Ellis Island immigration museum. My mom and her sister also wanted to see if they could use the computer system to track down when their father's side of the family first emigrated from Slovakia to the States.

The Immigration Museum is pretty amazing. If you live in NYC, or are ever here visiting, I strongly recommend it. These next few pics are all from a few photographers who spent a lot of time photographing portraits of all the people who were either held aside at Ellis Island for being strange or different, or documenting people that had be rejected entry and were about to be deported.

This guy should've shaved that stash, put on a little rouge, folded up those hairy legs COMING OUT OF HIS ABDOMENT and hid them under a dress. He could've easily passed as a hirsute preggo chick.

rachael — A Romanian woman with pretty much the biggest baby I've ever seen. (Who sorta looks a bit like my friend Rachael, no?)

Just some tall dude. No, biggie.

"Tattooed German stowaways deported May, 1911."

An entire African tribe that emigrated.

The rest of the museum documents the development and evolution of neighborhoods in New York as a result of mass immigration. A clamseller in what would eventually come to be known as Little Italy. Mulberry & Grand (circa 1890).

This is a photo of the (long-since defunct) synagogue on Rivington a few blocks from Meredith's apartment back in 1910 when it was the heart of the Jewish lower east side.

The museum also documents the behavior of Americans not-so-happy with the recent arrivals. How fucking insane is this pic?

A full-on Ku Klux Klan march through a town. Oh, those wacky southerners!

Oh, wait. In Longbranch, New Jersey? Whaaaaaat?

Don't worry, it's not racist or anything. the guy took off the hood and he was totally a Leni Lenape.

Old school street signs from the Lower East Side.

aunt barb, mom, uncle tom — Uncle Tom on the immigration archive computer trying to track down Barb and my mom's paternal ancestors.

Bingo! Pretty neat, right? So his name was Karol Miskovics (which was later anglicized to Miscovich).

dad, uncle tom — Uncle Tom and my Dad on the ferry back to the Jerz.

We all at dinner together at some restaurant at the ferry port, and then I hopped on the ferry back to Manhattan!

I headed home, dropped of my stuff and then went to the Mercury Lounge to see the Five O'Clock Heroes play. Then afterwards, I went to some other venue to see...

brandon — ...this handsome devil's band...

brandon — ...Nightmare of You, who were playing a show with...

...The Spinto Band!

Thursday, July 14th

Thursday I went to see 33hz play at Pianos, and on the way home I stopped by Meredith's place...

meredith, nina — ...to say hi to her and Nina who were just lounging around making rat faces.

meredith, nina — Hahah.

Friday, July 15th

josh, vin — On Friday, Vin and Josh came over to see my temporary new digs at Sarah's apt, drink some bee-yahs (Josh-speak)...

...and watch MTV teen-docudramas.

Later that night I ended up at Tasti D-Lite, which means that I was hanging out with none other than...

david f — ...the great David F. (who, once again hasn't returned my calls in like two months. If you read this, call me you dick!)

brandon, karen, leigh — Then back at Apartment 3A, it was like craft class! Everyone was pitching in the help Sarah make customized record singles for her then-newly-launched record label: Stolen Transmission.

leigh — Little helper elf.

ellen — Ellen had a bag full of treats.

ellen — Ok, we might have also smoked just a little bit of pot. (See, Ellen! I'm not necessarily the only one who faints in public).

leigh, me — Later that night we went to Orchard Bar for Sarah and Karen's party. (Hey, when are you guys gonna pick a new venue and restart that shit. Spring's gonna be here soon and there aren't any fun weeknight parties).

sarah — Hahahaha. Every time I look at this photo I hear it accompanied by the "Peter Griffin Laugh." Naaa-hahahahahaha.

Saturday, July 16th

ellen, leigh, meredith — On Saturday, I went to a movie with Leigh, Mer and Ellen. Many treats were consumed. Including three Luna Bars. (Luna Bars??? WTF?)

meredith — Meredith also put her sweatshirt on her head and made this face. Most likely, she was mocking Islam (as she's frequently wont to do).

Remember how earlier on I mentioned that Corey Feldman had moved into the apartment 3D, just a few doors down us? I totally wasn't kidding! Sarah made friends with him in the hallway and he totally invited our apartment to attend his upcoming birthday party.

corey feldman — By the way, someone made this and hung it up on our fridge and I just now (yes, "now" as in eighteen months later while captioning this entry) just got the joke. He's in 3-D, but he's also in apartment 3D!

sarah — Sarah decided to forego airbrushing a red stripe across her face (maybe her air compressor was on the fritz?) and instead went for a more subtle, military-influenced My Chem flavor.

Who else but Corey Feldman would have their birthday part at Crobar on a Saturday night. This is what the crowd looked like when we showed up.

Ugh. We were just about to leave when we realized there was a special line for "guests of Mr. Feldman." Sweet!

corey feldman — You totally can't read the monitor, but is says: Corey Feldman's Pimpin' Birthday Bash. He had a whole section of the club roped off and he was dressed up like Michael Jackson circa the Moonwalker era in a blousey, white zoot suit, complete with feathered fedora. No shit. We were laughing a lot about him being our neighbor and all, but he and his wife are super-nice people. The club was totally mobbed and way too loud so we decided to...

leigh — ...head to Misshapes, which was also way too loud and crowded. So we went back into the secret room in the back and pretty much found everyone else we know hiding back there too. Somehow a roll of electrical tape ended up becoming the entertainment for the night. Leigh-man Chu.

sarah — Seriously, I have like 200 photos of us putting black tape on our faces.

And in our hair. (You love my pretty hair bow made of tape!)

Sunday, July 17th

brandon, ellen, josh m, karen, leigh, meredith, robb hitt, sarah — Sunday Morning Brunch Club at Kate's Joint! Holy shit, remember when we used to do this pretty much EVERY SUNDAY? Clockwise from Left: Sarah, Meredith, Elhaam, Rob Hitt, Brandon, Josh, Ellen, Karen and Leigh!

leigh, sarah — When we finished brunch, it was pouring rain so we decided to walk a half-block over to...

ellen, jordan silver, meredith, rob hitt, sarah — ...No. 1 Chinese where Meredith managed to wrangle us up some FREE DRINKS! Woooo!

leigh, snow white — And Leigh dressed up like Snow White!

After the rain had subsided, Meredith and I walked down into Chinatown to check out the MoCA Museum (Museum of Chinese in the Americas)

It was teeny tiny, but still really interesting!

Monday, July 18th

lizzy — On Monday afternoon I had lunch with the lovely Lizzie...

leigh — ...and I helped Leigh install her brand new air conditioner!

leigh — I accidentally left my tiny camera over Leigh's house and when I got it back the next day, I found she'd left me a little "Hey, look! My AC's working" portrait on my camera. Hahaha. Then later on that night back at Casa de Sarah I watched...

brandon, jordan silver — ...Jordan Silver feed Brandon Reilly cereal...

brandon, jordan silver — ...in a very...

brandon, jordan silver — ...homoerotic manner.

Tuesday, July 19th

leigh — On Tuesday I went to have lunch with Tinny at Teany. ("Jee-sus!")

emily, rachael — And then later that night I met up with Emily and Rachael to celebrate Rachael's 26th birthday! Happy Birthday, Ray Ray! That about wraps up the first half of the July Roundup! Part Two coming soon!