i keep a diary

November 22, 2002

Boys Weekend in Montreal

So eight of us decided to take a long-weekend vacation up in Montreal. Five of us departed Friday morning from New York City, and the other three guys left from Boston and we met up at our fancy hotel in Montreal. We spent the next two days having fun, catching up, and hitting the town to abuse the pathetic Canadian dollar...

zion levy
This is Zion Levy - he's the Israeli cab driver that drove Grant and I up to Fatty's to get the rental car. When he heard we were going to Montreal, he started laughing and told us that "the Montreal women are many naughty and are enjoying to make the fuck very much." He then launched into what might be the greatest story of all time about how when he was a young lad visiting the Jersey shore, a bus load of women from Montreal showed up and he fucked most of them (including a mother and her 17 year old virgin-daughter.) Seriously, I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. If you ever get in Zion's cab, make sure to tell him you're heading to Canada.
best ˆ portfolio ˆ taxi ˆ zion levy
colin, fatty, frank, grant, me
Here's the New York Five, coldlamping in front of our pimpin' rented Blazer. From Left: Grant, Dave "Fatty" Fateman, Colin "Big Daddy" Gentle and Frank "Seven Layer" Picarazzi.
big blue the jacket ˆ map ˆ roadtrip ˆ colin ˆ fatty ˆ frank ˆ grant ˆ me
colin, ethan, fatty, frank, grant, me, seth
In Montreal, we met up with the three other guys (who drove in from Boston). Seth (the guy next to me), Chef (not pictured because he's being blocked by Fatty's head) and the uber-scary (and therefore edited out of most of the pictures) Ethan (gee, can you figure out which guy is the sociopath in the pic...c'mon, look carefully.).
colin ˆ ethan ˆ fatty ˆ frank ˆ grant ˆ me ˆ seth
grant
Six cheap Canadian beers later, Grant somehow figured out he could really do a DLR-style (David Lee Roth) jumpkick!!! Check out this shit I managed to capture mid-air.
best ˆ dlr kick ˆ grant
grant
On Saturday, while browsing for discounted Canadian porn, we found out about Grant's former life as a model for the "Mr. Jack: Hungy, Hard Sucking, Mouth! (complete with multi-variable vibration unit). Check that shit out, the resemblance is uncanny.
best ˆ doppleganger ˆ gay ˆ grant
colin, fatty, frank
After a hard day of shopping and further sullying the repuations of Americans in general, we went back to our fancy hotel and got all dressed up for...
hotel ˆ colin ˆ fatty ˆ frank
colin, fatty, frank, grant, me, seth
....a night out on the town! Seth being a pimped-ass high roller, he called in to have a limo chaffeur our asses around all night. Nothing says class like a white-stretch with neon underrunners, baby.
big blue the jacket ˆ coldlamp ˆ limo ˆ montreal ˆ colin ˆ fatty ˆ frank ˆ grant ˆ me ˆ seth
colin, fatty, frank, grant
Oh, and mirrored ceilings. You gotta have mirrored ceilings.
limo ˆ mirror ˆ colin ˆ fatty ˆ frank ˆ grant
colin, ethan, fatty, frank, grant, me, seth
Saturday night we went the Quatro steakhouse where we all prompty fell in love with...
colin ˆ ethan ˆ fatty ˆ frank ˆ grant ˆ me ˆ seth
stephanie
...the lovely Stephanie. Who in addition to being to the most charmingest waitress in all of Montreal is planning on finishing up school and moving to New York City so she can become....my wife.
stephanie
frank, grant
Seven Layer put on a fancy shirt and wasn't about to get clam sauce all over it...check him shamelessly sporting the fucking Guinea Bib. Molto bello, fuckhead! (PS - Bonus Points to Grant for an amazing "get a load of this fuggin' guy" face).
best ˆ food ˆ get a load of this guy ˆ montreal ˆ frank ˆ grant
frank, grant, me, seth
Seth, Seven Layer (sans bib), Grant and me.
food ˆ montreal ˆ thumbs up ˆ frank ˆ grant ˆ me ˆ seth
colin, frank, seth
Back in tha lizzimo.
limo ˆ montreal ˆ colin ˆ frank ˆ seth
grant, me
Here's a picture taken to document Grant's promise to me that he would under go "saline augmentation of the scrotum" for his next "I Did It For Science" column. Booyah!
hug ˆ limo ˆ yell ˆ grant ˆ me
grant, seth
One more DLR-kick for good measure. Ahhhhhm Talking about tha Yankee Rose!
dlr kick ˆ montreal ˆ grant ˆ seth
fatty, frank, grant
The band formerly known as Jetsetera poses for a snow-ridden stroll down Mammary Lane.
fatty ˆ frank ˆ grant
grant, seth
Le Negs in the house!
coldlamp ˆ gang signs ˆ grant ˆ seth
colin
Big Daddy eats a Dig Daddy.
cookie ˆ driving ˆ food ˆ colin
colin, fatty, frank, grant, me
Here the New York Five homeward bound on Sunday evening.
driving ˆ montreal ˆ roadtrip ˆ colin ˆ fatty ˆ frank ˆ grant ˆ me