September 21, 2003

Karaoke Blowout

Oh man, I don't even know what to write as an intro to this entry - It was just a regular old Saturday night and a whole bunch of us decided that later on we'd head over to Nolita Tavern for a little Sid & Buddy Karaoke action. Well, the planents must've aligned in some bizarre way because every single person we'd invited showed up...and then some.

emma, grant, lorelei — Emma, Grant, Lorelei and myself started the night out getting our free drink on at a party celebrating the opening of Toys in Babeland's new Soho store.

grant — This is the undisputed winner of brain shots. Holy shit. The party was really loud and crowded and when Grant got a phone call he made the mistake of squatting down so he could hear better. I pulled out my nuts faster than a cobra attacking. Boo-yah! Mad props to Lorelei for snapping this pic. Hahahahahaha.

Okay, now on to karaoke...

emily, emma, grant, lorelei — Emily, Emma, Lo and Grant. (Down in the karaoke basement of Nolita Tavern).

emily, kate h — Special guest star (in town visiting from LA), Kate Hill!

kate h, me — Here's us kicking off the night right with a duet of Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart"

emma, lorelei — Em & Lo! (Emma's really good at hiding behind the microphone).

emily, sid and buddy — M-L-E on the M-I-C!

laurie c — Look! It's Laurie Choi! aka - Chitty Chitty BangChoi! (Who actually made her last diary appearance way back in October of 1999!) Welcome back!

jen c — What's better than one Choi? TWO CHOIS! (But please keep in mind, it's still pronounced "choy" even though it looks all French and makes you want to say "Schwa!") That's right, Laurie's little sister (and local NYU student) Jen is actually seen here earning herself bonus points in my book for busting out the robot whilst rocking the karaoke mic.

emma, lorelei — Em and Lo on backup.

jamie k, jen c, laurie c — Ok, if you look at everyone's eyes in this pic, you'll start to see that this is the point in the night where things started getting a little out of hand. (People were making similar expression back two fateful August ago, and we all know what happened THAT night.) Clockwise from top: Jen, Jamie, Laurie, Mark (and some scary guy in the background who looks like the Hispanic Charles Manson).

grant, lorelei, matt lesser, sid and buddy — Grant and Lo (what were you guys singing, either of you remember?)

jamie k — Jamie Kirkpatrick, yo.

amanda, me — Yay! Amanda Berkowitz stopped by (with a friend of hers whose name I don't remember, sorry) but I think we were all pretty rowdy at this point and we scared her off. (By the way, what's with me smoking?)

emily, laurie c — Laurie and Emily.

Eighteen and life, YOU'VE got it.

emily, jamie k, laurie c — Jamie, Jen and Emily. Real quick, y'all should know that I met Jamie and Jen because of this site! (Jamie googled a former co-worker of his and found pic of her on this site - after he read through it, he found pictures of Laurie Choi! So emailed me and was like "You don't know me, but we have friends in common and we should hang out! PS - I'm not gay!")

emily, emma, grant, lorelei — Awwwwwww, best pic ever. Emily, Emma, Lorelei and Grant.

So to be honest with you, I don't really even know how this started. There was something about this girl's bum that Grant and I thought was great. So we started taking sneaky pictures of it.

See, here's me all like "Hi, I'm here with your butt."

grant — And then Grant was all "Hi, I'm here with your butt and I can't believe how naughty it is!"

matt l — Sid & Buddy quickly caught on. Now at this point, it pretty much stopped being about her ass and just started being about how much we could get away with behind this unsuspecting girl's back. Here's Buddy barking like a dog.

matt l, matt lesser, sid and buddy — Hahahahah - then they teamed up to "rock out" with her butt.

emily, grant — We quickly lost interest in her butt, and moved on to other butts. Grant and Emily do a "butt-appreciation sixty-nine."

grant, matt lesser — This was awesome - Grant was all kneeling behing Matting making faces at him and right as I was about to take the pic, Matt realized what was going on and thrust his ass back and Grant. Hahaha.

me, sid and buddy — Sid and Buddy....and my ass.Hahahaha. Grant wins for braining Matt (ps - what's with your lumpy nuts, dude? You should probably get that looked at.)

grant, matt lesser — Hahahaha. Grant wins for braining Matt (ps - what's with your lumpy nuts, dude? You should probably get that looked at.)

So it was around this time that we noticed these two (aka - "The Greatest Couple in the World."). He was completely shit-hammered; to the point where his head was all bobbing around like we was on a fucking wagonride on a cobblestone street. And she (as if her matching aqua skirt-outfit wasn't enough) had the biggest belly button jewelry thing I've ever seen. I mean look at that thing - it's like the J-Lo engagement ring of bellybuttons. Anyway, she was really drunk and kept heckling people in between songs, yelling that it was her turn already....we'll get back to these guys later.

hulk fist, jamie k, me — Here's Jamie singing "Bohemian Rhapsody" - and somewhere in the middle of the song, someone just handed me the most memorable children's toy in recent years...The Giant Hulk Fist.

emily, hulk fist — After we realized that the Hulk fist made pictures instantly funnier, it made rounds quicker than a first-year Sorority girl. Here's it is with Emily...

grant, hulk fist — ...then on to Grant...

hulk fist, me — ...back to me (where I discovered that if you punch something, the Hulk fist emits a loud, electronic "Angry Hulk Scream")...

emily, hulk fist — ...back to Emily (where it have that little extra oomph to her "Hit Me With Your Best Shot")...

hulk fist, laurie c, me — ...back to me where I used it to punch Chitty Chitty Bang Choi in her Chitty Chitty Bang chin. Feel my hulk ANGER!

hulk fist, matt lesser, sid and buddy — ...then over to Matt who proceeded to use it to get his Hulk-jerk on. After that, the line had pretty much been crossed and no one wanted to wear it anymore. Hulk-jerk? I mean, come on.

emily, emma, grant — I mean, this pic is pretty awesome and all. But just imagine how much better it would be if the Hulk fist wasn't contaminated and he could've been wearing it. Fack.

emily, matt lesser, sid and buddy — Hahahahahahahahaha.

jamie k, jen c, laurie c — What's more fun than this pic? From L to R: Jamie, The Choi sisters (Jen & Laurie) and Brian.

emily, jamie k, me — Look at me trying to subtley get Emily to show more boob. Goddamn, I'm smooth.

So Bellybutton Jewelry Girl went to the bathroom, and while she was gone, her boyfriend passed out...we all know what that means!!!

emily — That's right! It means it's time to play "FUCK WITH THE DRUNK GUY!" Emily kicked it off with a lil' boob showing.

grant — Grant wasted no time moving in with his nuts.

jamie k, me — Jamie and I were quick to follow. Mad props to Jamie - homeboy survived testicular cancer was brave enough (or drunk enough - probably a bit of both) to take out his one ball! (Stop looking! You can't tell).

This was the best part, I was standing really close to him with my nuts out and all of sudden he woke up. He seemed started to find me standing so close to him and and was like "What's up?" So I said to him enthusiastically, "Nothing, dude! You're rocking the fuck out, that's what! Let's take a picture together!" He jumped up and with like "Ok!" So that's how I turned an "Almost Got My Ass Kicked" situtation into the greatest "You Don't Know You're Posing With My Balls But You Are" picture of all time.

laurie c, sid and buddy — Shortly after, his girlfriend returned and somehow Jen Choi ended up on stage dirty dancing with her. (It was also right around here that my camera's batteries fucking died on me. I managed to snap a few more pics, but I kept having to turn the cam off for a few seconds, let it rest, then turn it on and try to take another pic before it died again.)

sid and buddy — The real tragedy is that because of this I missed getting a really good action shot of Jen spanking the Bellybutton Lady with a leather S&M paddle. (I swear to God, I'm not kidding. This actually happened. If you look in the background, you can see Jen holding the paddle in her right hand - and see who the turquoise lady is all leaning against the wall - submitting herself?)

This picture here is called "Why I Almost Stopped Being Friends With Emma Taylor." Here's why - after the turqoise lady was done being spanked by Jen, she sat down (well, fell down really) in a chair and sat there in her skirt with her legs completely spread....only to reveal that she was wearing GOLD LAMÉ PANTIES! Holy fucking shit, they were amazing. My camera was completely dead at this point, but I knew upon seeing that panties, that my little beaut wouldn't fail me. I took out the cam and before turning it on, nodded to Jen Choi, who without missing a beat, crawled over next to her and the visible panties on all fours. I fired up the cam, lined up the most incredible shot of Jen making a face and pointing at the panties, and just as the cam was about to go off, a hand came from out of nowhere and covered the lens. That hand belonged to Emma Taylor - who said she "felt bad for the drunk lady."

I've had some time to think about it, and while I'm still upset that Emma ruined what could've very well been the crown jewel of this site, I realized that part of the reason that we all love her so much is because she really is that nice of a person. I mean, if she'd save a total stranger from humiliation, just imagine what she'd do for her friends, right? But hey, that doesn't mean that YOU can't send her hate mail.