i keep a diary

December 19, 2003

Trip to Cali Part 5: Back to LA

Friday, December 19th

Friday morning Grant and I got up early and drove down to the ranch offices so Grant could interview Tom Wheeler, the head cowboy at the Circle W Ranch, for Grant's "Sex Advice from Cowboys" article.
best ˆ cowboy
Here's another artsy photo I took to accompany Grant's article (that never ended up being used).
best
Tom Mother-Effing Wheeler, yo.
best ˆ cowboy ˆ horse
me
Those of you who know me know that I couldn't grow facial hair to save my life. Seriously, fifteen year olds with "dirtstaches" put me to shame. But after admiring Grant's crazy-ass cowboy beard, I decided that I wouldn't shave for six days and see what it looked like. And six days later...BLAMO! Check out my fucking beard!

What do you mean you can't see anything? Maybe you just need a closer look...
beard ˆ comedy facial hair ˆ me
me
...see? Check out that moustache. I'm practically Tom Selleck all over again.
beard ˆ comedy facial hair ˆ me
grant
Grant's beard was pretty manly, but I think if I had another day or two I could've outdone him.
beard ˆ comedy facial hair ˆ grant
fatty, grant, me
After I'd finished documenting our facial hair, we headed back to the house, showered (and I shaved, thank god), packed up and hit the road to head back down to Los Angeles (to attend the surprise birthday party that Jordana had put together for him. Shhhh!).
driving ˆ fatty ˆ grant ˆ me
Leaving the ranch.
driving
I love how this pampered pig is reading a book.
pig ˆ sign ˆ truck
fatty
Fatty crashed the fuck out on the ride. Hahah.
asleep ˆ driving ˆ sunglasses ˆ fatty
fatty, grant, hanukah, ross m
We got to Ross & Jord's just in time to have a lovely Hanukah dinner with Ross' parents.
fatty ˆ grant ˆ hanukah ˆ ross m
dashiell
Dash enjoying his dinner.
dashiell
ross m
After food, Ross screened the most recent cut of Grant's TV pilot, "Granted."
tv ˆ ross m
hanukah, ross m
And then it was time to open presents! Here's Ross showing off his Juicy Couture Hanukah sweats. Mazel Tov!
couch ˆ gift ˆ hanukah ˆ ross m
hanukah
Susan and Harlan.
gift ˆ hanukah
jordana, ross m
Ross and Jord.
jordana ˆ ross m
hanukah, ross m
Here's Ross completely bewildered by the magic of his MAGIC WALLET.
gift ˆ wallet ˆ hanukah ˆ ross m
After Hannukah presents, we hopped back in Grant's (Satanic) rental car...
rental car
...and headed to a nearby hotel we'd gotten for the night (with Ross' family in town, we didn't want to overcrowd their house).
hotel
On Saturday, Grant had to go to VH1 and do voice-over work for his TV show, so Fatty and I decided to wander down Melrose. Check out what we saw in Starbucks: it's a shirtless guy, wearing overalls, a stoooopid Paddington bear hat, sunglasses INDOORS and holding a walking stick while he's SITTING DOWN AND PLAYING CHESS! Oh my god, I call this photo "EVERY SINGLE REASON I DON'T LIVE IN LOS ANGELES."
los angeles ˆ strangers
fatty
Well, almost every single reason. Check out LA, working hard to further blur the line between gainful employment and prostitution.
sign ˆ sunglasses ˆ thumbs up ˆ fatty
fatty, hanukah
Fatty gets his "Jew on" in front of the largest menorahs either of us had ever seen.
fatty ˆ hanukah
dashiell, ross m
Saturday night we all snuckity snuck over to Frank Wyle's (Jordana's grandfather) house in Brentwood for Ross Martin's 30th Birthday Surprise Party! Here's Ross reaction when he walked into the house to find fifty people!
birthday ˆ surprise ˆ dashiell ˆ ross m
ross m
And then, fearing he didn't look "surprised enough" in the above photo, he posed for this "I'm REALLY surprised" photo.
birthday ˆ surprise ˆ ross m
ross m
Steve, Ross and Ameen.
birthday ˆ ross m
Seth and Ameen (aka - AMIR!).
dashiell
Marianna with a sleepy Dash.
sleepy ˆ dashiell
ross m
Jordana even went as far as to take all these great pictures of Ross as a young whipper snapper and have them blown up! Ross the Soccer Star.
ross m
ross m
Aw, yeah. Drum corp lemme hear you. (ps - nice hat).
drums ˆ ross m
grant, ross m
Check that mug out - he's like Paul Fifer and Kevin Arnold rolled into one (while Grant's busy working hard to look like the fourth friggin Bee Gee).
grant ˆ ross m
grant
After the surprise dinner, the whole group headed over to restaurant in LA for a second, larger party featuring all of Ross' friends and co-workers. Here's DJ Bearden Bickerstaff manning the laptop tunebox.
dj ˆ laptop ˆ grant
fatty, me
Me and the Fatty all dressed up.
dressed up ˆ fatty ˆ me
Here's Jord's cousin Steve up on stage wishing Ross a happy 30th birthday and welcoming a special guest to the party...
birthday
britney spears
...Britney Spears!
britney spears
britney spears, ross m
Ok, ok - not Britney Spears, but a really good Britney Spears lookalike.
best ˆ birthday ˆ britney spears ˆ ross m
britney spears, ross m
Ross has a Philip Roth-esque crush on everyone's favorite pop shiksa, so Jord thought it would be funny to have Britney come perform a lil' birthday dance for the birthday man.
birthday ˆ dance ˆ britney spears ˆ ross m
britney spears, ross m
Hahahaha. He looks like he's doing the "Happy Snoopy" dance.
best ˆ birthday ˆ dance ˆ britney spears ˆ ross m
britney spears, ross m
Soooooo good.
birthday ˆ dance ˆ britney spears ˆ ross m
britney spears, ross m
"You're a jew!"
best ˆ birthday ˆ point ˆ britney spears ˆ ross m
britney spears, jordana, ross m
Jordana, Ross and Britney.
birthday ˆ britney spears ˆ jordana ˆ ross m
britney spears, jordana, ross m
Hahaha. Ross telling wifey to beat it (*Bonus points to Jordana for pulling the "You're in trouble" face that eventually inspired Dashiell's infamous "Whatchoo talking 'bout, Willis?" look
best ˆ birthday ˆ britney spears ˆ jordana ˆ ross m
britney spears, grant, me
Here's Steve, Grant and myself posing for a pic (which was really just an excuse to try to cop a feel of the faux-Britney's vinyl-clad arse).
britney spears ˆ grant ˆ me
jordana
Amy Bird, Steve and Jord.
jordana
joey
Then out of the blue, who should show up to the party? None other than our former Nerve co-worker (from way back in the day), Joey Cavella! How after leaving Nerve had moved back to his native LA.
joey
grant, me
Me and Grant dishing some double-lovin' to the lovely Jen Ehrman.
kiss ˆ grant ˆ me
fatty, joey
The Fatty and Joey.
fatty ˆ joey
grant, me
Grant and I with Harlan Martin! (Best picture ever).
excited ˆ grant ˆ me
me, ross m
Me, Ross, Marianna and someone I don't know! (doh.)
me ˆ ross m
joey, paz
Joey and Paz Lenchantin (from Zwan, a perfect circle, Papa M, etc). So rad.
joey ˆ paz
me, paz
Dah-dah-disco.
me ˆ paz
grant, joey, paz
Hard-as-Nailz Crizzew.
grant ˆ joey ˆ paz
joey
Joey Cavella or Joey Camel?
joey
grant
DJ Grizznizzle wrapping up the party.
laptop ˆ grant
grant, joey
We said goodbye to West Coast Joey and headed back to our hotel...
grant ˆ joey
me
...and I woke up just in time to thwart Grant's attempt to put his balls near my face.
asleep ˆ me

Sunday, December 20th

Sunday morning we had a little time to kill before heading to the airport, so we drove around LA. Look kids, Mann's Chinese Theater!
los angeles
fatty
Then we stopped at In N Out for a little holiday burger treat.
food ˆ in-n-out-burger ˆ fatty
fatty
Mmmm! Fatty likey! Hehehe.
food ˆ in-n-out-burger ˆ fatty
fatty
Then Grant and I dropped the Fatty off.
airport ˆ backpack ˆ fatty
fatty, me
Fare thee well Fatty! After seeing Dave off, Grant and I went to a bookstore and killed some time before we came back for him to drop me off (I was actually supposed to stay another two days, but being in 65 degree weather a few days before Christmas proved to be too much and I switched my flight so I could get home, do a little Christmas shopping and spend some time with my fam.
fatty ˆ me
grant, me
Here's Grant sending me off. Goodbye California!
big blue the jacket ˆ grant ˆ me