May, 2003

The May Roundup

Here they are! All the pics from the month of May that didn't merritt their own entry, but still deserved a little love.

Thursday, May 1st

grant — Talk about a bad way to kick off a new month, Jesus! Grant bought himself this jacket for $5 at a thrift store. He was convinced it was cool right up until about my 3rd straight minute of laughing and pointing.

grant, me — The jacket may have quickly been retired, but the "ElectroGrantClash-2k3" theme song it spawned lives on. (Make sure you ask me to sing it next time you see me).

herman the cat — Bwa-hahahah! That's my roommate's cat, Herman. He's only sort of a cat because he's really more like a dog. I was putting a new garbage bag on the garbage can and when I was flailing the bag around to open it up, Herman became very interested in the bag...a leeeetle too interested...and so I scooped the leeetle fugger up. Here he is four minutes later after he finally manged to claw open a hole for his head. (How about I just make it easy for you?)

Saturday, May 3rd

vin — Saturday night Vin and I headed out to Billyburg to meet up with a bunch of our friends at some Fader Magazine party - but by the time we got done at the BQE Lounge, the party had gotten busted up by the cops. So instead we met up with Dave G The Ladies Choice at Rockstar bar and then headed over to see his new (ridiculous) apartment. Then we went up on his roof...and from there climbed up onto the billboard tower that runs right next to...

...the Williamsburg Bridge. This picture doesn't do the actual view one bit of justice. It's amazing.

Here's another. Beautiful, right?

vin — Sure the JMZ line might be a lil' bit ghetto (especially at like 4:30am) but that just means that you have the whole car to yourself for...

vin — ...SUBWAY GYMNASTICS, WOOOOOO! Vin does the No-Handed, Double-Knee Hang.

And here's my mounting my way towards...

...a Two-Poled Grip Swingset.

Wednesday, May 7th

With no sign of spring in sight, Grant and I headed over to Ace Bar for a little Big Buck Huntin' action.

The only kind of animated mild violence you have to worry about is caused when...

...slick-ass buck marksmen like myself incite riots amongst the onlookers by scoring a PERFECT MUTHAFUCKING SITE-AHHH! (That's the coveted "Triple Buck Bonus" for all y'all non-players out there).

grant — Not the least bit flustered by all of my "in-your-face"-in', Grant quickly represented with his very own...

grant — ..."Triple Bull Bonus" (This was in the next round where we had moved on up north to Canada and were hunting Moose Bulls instead of Deer Bucks, ya heard?)

erica — A little later on in the evening, Erica came and met up with us when she got off of work.

Ok, it's storytime. In the midst of all my stoopid yelling about how I was OWNING with all my Triple Buck Bonus Action (which, for the record, I totally was doing), I looked over towards the door and noticed this really hot blonde girl watching us acting all interested. Well, ok - at first we assumed her "interest" was just her laughing at us for being the video game-playing losers that we are, but then a few minutes later, she walked over to us, then in a *swoon* Eastern-European accent introduced herself as Larissa and asked if "we minded her joining in."

Right before I handed her the gun, she flashed a million dollar smile and warned us all that she once held the high score in "Time Crisis." (which is another shooting game). (Tall, hot, foreign and kick-ass at video games?)

Fast forward forty agonizing minutes, and like twenty-something rounds later and Larissa's still not yet managed to shoot ONE GODDAMNED BUCK. Seriously not one. Not even by accident!

She was getting really angry and told us "I'll be right back." and she um, never came back. Which was actually a relief because at that point I was running out of clever, encouraging things to say after each time she failed to grasp the (seemingly basic) concept of "shooting a video game rifle."

After all that, you might think that when she tried to sneak out past us twenty minutes later that I'd ignore her...well that's where you'd be wrong, sir. I followed her out and asked her for her number and was promptly told that she "had a boyfriend." I thought I was getting the royal brush-off, but two days later, Grant saw her in Union Square with her boyfriend.

Me: "Really? What was he like?"
Grant: "Some old rich dude."
Me: "Really? Fack! How rich?"
Grant: "Real rich."
Me: "How old?"
Grant: "Real old. I'll bet you anything he's got 'salt and pepper' pubes."

Where are all the smoking, hot Eastern European girls who are really good at video games, huh? Email me.

(Post Script - Apparently Grant saw Larissa in Williamsburg the other day and she was with some young, good looking guy. So at this point it's unconfirmed whether or not "SaltNPeppa" was, in fact, her boyfriend.)

Thursday, May 15th

louis kanganis — On Thursday, my whole company took the afternoon off to see "The Matrix: Reloaded." (Yeah, we're big, fucking dorks. I know). Louis' six year old son Stephen came along and the movie got him so wound-up that when we got out of the theater he jumped up into this big potted flower display outside the theater and started romping through them...

The people waiting in line for the next showing watched in disbelief as Stephen stomped flowers, pulled them out and threw them at us whilst laughing manically (as his dad looked on non-chalantly from like 5 ft away). When we asked Louis about it later he wearily replied "Hey man, he's a six year old. You've got to pick your battles." Hahahaha.

eileen — Afterwards we all went over to City Hall (the restaurant, not, you know, actual City Hall) to eat a big, fancy dinner.

Sunday, May 18th

On Sunday night I was sitting home working on this stooopid site when I got a call from Sarah (whose fancy job is always getting her invited to fancy events) who asked me if I wanted to go see the Dashboard Confessional with her in a few minutes. I cooly answered "Sure, I guess I meet you there" (as my secret inner emo-fag wept with tears of joy and excitement).

chris carrabba, sarah — After the show - we went backstage so Sarah could interview Chris for her job. I am the envy of thirteen year old girls everywhere. Boo-yah!

Monday, May 19th

grant — Grant getting jokey at Ikea. Monday after work he, myself and Fatty drove out to New Jersey - they were buying stuff for their new apartments...

...and after over a year of living in my place I finally got around to buying some curtains for my gi-normous windows.

Thursday, May 22nd

Photo of the best subway billboard ever. It's for a law firm that specializes in representing the parents of stupid children who ate lead paint. Stooopid baby! Soooo stoooopid!

Friday, May 23rd

Friday night we went over to the meatpacking district to celebrate the release of Mark Bibbin's (aka - Tha Notorious B.I.B. aka - the "Virile Poet) new book of poems, Sky Lounge.

brian c, grant, mark bibbins — Brian Chambers, Mark and Grant. (By the way, is that some awkward new coldlamp pose or is Grant just trying to hide a boner?)

mark bibbins — In true "ecclectic poet" fashion, Bibbins repesented with these classic shoes. (Which, incidentally, are the same pair that Cousin Eddie gave to Clark W. Griswold in the first Vacation movie. Anyone with me on that one?).

fatty — You can take your rules and signs and shove them up your ass! Fatty's a fucking rock n' roll rebel.

Wednesday, May 28th

Office Dog! This is Eileen and Jaret's (my co-workers) puppy Nemo.

Nemo enjoys stealing my gym socks out of my gym bag and cuddling up against peoples' bums.

Thursday, May 20th

me, pomodoro jack — Anybody who knows me knows that for a long time I've been totally fascinated by "Pomodoro Guy." (He the guy that stands on the east side of the Broadway/Spring intersection, right outside of our offices, holding a giant sign advertising the nearby Pomodoro Pizzeria). Anyway, after months of seeing him everyday and saying hi, things eventually progressed to the causal "about the weather" conversation - but one day a few months back I ran into him on my block (and found out he's my neighbor) and ever since then we've sorta become buds. Hence I will now refer to "Pomodoro Guy" as Jack - his God-given name.

me, pomodoro jack — What's better than this picture? Seriously.

grant, me, pomodoro jack — Oh, wait. This picture, that's what.

Saturday, May 24th

Don't even get me started on the whole fucking mesh, trucker-hat phenomenon again. Suffice it to say that for a short while it was so out of hand that I actually resorted to having this shirt made up.

Saturday, May 30th

allison, vin — Before heading out to Brooklyn, Allison, Vin, Grant and myself went over to the Pink Pony for some late night grizzub.

grant, me — Grant with a beer big enough to put his light-weight ass in the hospital.

After dinner we headed out to a roofparty in Bushwick, Brooklyn. Check out the rickety-ass flight of stairs up.

brian h, vin — Up on the roof, Brian Holoubek was on the decks.

That night when we got back to Manhattan, I found a license plate in my hood that might be a contender to beat the license plate that Dennis spotted over in the Lower East Side. I was gonna stick around to see what kind of person pays extra for a license plate that says this - but then when I started thinking about what would likely happen when some hulking Staten Island weekender found me hanging around his car only to ask if I could take his picture. That's a recipe for an ass-kickin' if I've ever heard one.

Vin and Allison slept over in my guest bedroom - and someone, Vin I think managed to snap this late night picture of me being a dork and working on this very site. That's right ladies and gents, that desk is where it all goes down.