March 16, 2008

Egypt: Part One

I had a little more than three weeks off between jobs and got the idea to take a trip some where crazy! Meredith was in the middle of her final semester of graduate school and told me that she wasn't going to be able to leave NYC, but that I shouldn't let that stop me from going somewhere fun.

A couple minutes later, I started rattling off possible travel destinations and it because an instant joke that with each and every place I named, Meredith would yell something like "NO! Not there!" Or, "DEFINITELY NOT THAT ONE. You have to go there with MEEEEEE!" So I'd name a couple more and each time it would be more of the same: "ANYWHERE BUT THEEEEEEERE!" Hahaha.

Finally, after exhausting all sorts of tropical paradises (Belize, Fiji) and exotic treks (Eastern Island, Machu Picchu), I blurted out "EGYPT!" Meredith, (who'd traveled through North Africa before) smiled and said "I've already been and you should definitely go." Ta-da! Egypt it is!

Saturday, March 15th

6:48am. Excited about the trip! I bought this book 4 days prior (which was also the same day I impulse decided to go to Egypt). My plan was to fly into Cairo and find a hotel for the night...then figure out the rest while I was there. (Also known as not really having much of a plan).

If you don't have a plan, you don't know what to pack! So pack nothing!

Here's me heading out the door for two weeks in Egypt with NO PLAN and ONE BACKPACK! Eeeeep!

Air travel makes no sense. When I first had my "Aha!" moment to go to Egypt, I looked up direct flights from NYC to Cairo and was like "Oh no, it's like $2,000" (which was way more than I wanted to spend). So then I was like, "Well, for shit's and giggles, let me see if there are any cheaper indirect fares." The first search result said I could fly to Egypt from NYC roundtrip for under $1,000 as long as I was willing to go an extra EIGHT HOURS out of the way through Abu Dhabi BOTH TIMES

But since Faisal lives in Abu Dhabi, I figured it was like Etihad Airlines PAYING me $1,000 to visit a friend! So thanks for that Etihad! Woooo!

Check out the reeeediculous accommodations in Etihad's coach cabin! Here's the back story on why this shit is so pimp:

Abu Dhabi and Dubai are two of the Emirates (in the United Arab Emirates) and there's a competitive streak between them. The rich peeps in Abu Dhabi got tired of Dubai getting recognized worldwide for being so blinging all of the time...because they're like "BUT WE'RE RICHER THAN THEM!"

So one day some of the rich people in Abu Dhabi were lazing around one of their palaces, scheming on how to make the world realize that Dubai is a bunch of greasy bitches and then someone was like "Yo, I don't wanna front - so I'm just gonna say it. I flew back home on Emirates Airlines (the airline that Dubai started) and I gotta admit, that shit was pretty fly."

There must've been all sorts of resigned head-nodding as the rest of the crew reluctantly acknowledged Dubai's flyness. And then outta nowhere, somebody, Khalifa bin Zayed Al Nahyan, if I'm not mistaken, was like "YO! I HAVE TOTALLY FUCKING GOT IT! We should start our OWN airline and spend way more money than they did. You know, let's just get silly and totally try to make Dubai's airplanes look like TRASH! Then Abu Dhabi will be the new MEGAPORT in the UAE and people will realize that Dubai is basically like Insane Clown Posse and we are totally Death Row in its Suge Night hey-day." (Ok, I'm *paraphrasing* here at this point, but these dudes placed an order for $8 Billion dollars worth of airplanes when they started, so you get the idea)

Any way, after the two airlines finished with their "who's got doper planes" war, they apparently proceeded to get into a price war. Which I'm guessing is the only way I was able to spend 36 hours in the air with a big seat and a personal TV with unlimited movies and tons of meals for less than $1,000.

I watched *Lars and the Real Girl* for free and liked it very much. Thanks, Sheikh Khalifa (holla!).

Twelve and a half hours after leaving NYC, I landed in Abu Dhabi. My layover was only about 90 minutes...

...I barely had time to wander around the terminal (which is really beautiful, by the way - check out the curved-mosaic dome! It's like being inside a giant mushroom!)...

Monday, March 17th

Local Time: Monday morning 9:20am. Exactly 4 hours to Cairo!

Sweet headline! You stay classy, Etihad Inflight Magazine!

I love when you're high enough in a plane that you can see the curvature of the earth on the horizon.

View Abu Dhabi --> Cairo in a larger map We flew northwest from Abu Dubai to Cairo. A couple hours in, I looked out my window and recognized the Suez Canal from the airplane. Here's the map version...

..and here's the view from the plane! It's crazy when you look out an airplane window and you're like "Oh yeah, I recognize that from looking at THE GLOBE."

Flying over eastern Egypt I couldn't help but notice that it looked like Tattooine.

Clearly those are Stormtrooper barracks.

There would be hundreds of miles of desert, and then something like this would just crop up in the middle of nowhere.

What in the world could you possibly be (other than home to a whole bunch of Hutts)?

Finally, the landscape changed from barren desert and we were flying over the Nile River...Cairo!

We had an uneventful landing. As we taxied towards the jetway, I saw a bunch of these planes on the tarmac! Talk about an unfortunate name for an airline! They totally did it on purpose to discourage English-speakers from flying! Their slogan (in Arabic, of course) "TNT AIRLINES: NO HEATHENS ONBOARD, GUARANTEED."

On the loooong ass flight over I'd had plenty of time to read up good places to stay in Cairo and had decided to head to an area called Shariff Adly where there were lots of places to choose from. After clearing customs uneventfully, I got into a cab and got a nerve-wracking two minutes of blank stares as I tried every possible pronunciation of "Shariff Adly" before finally stumbling upon "SHAR adley." And the dude laughed and was like "Oh, sure. No problem 80 EP" (80 Egyptian Pounds like $15 USD).

As we pulled away from the airport, the cabbie asked me where I was from. He told me he liked New York, but not George Bush. I agreed. He told me he liked American music and turned the radio on. Right as he flipped it on, the song that goes "Caught between the moon and New York Ci-it-it-taaaay...the best that you can do" was on and we both had a laugh.

Sitting in mid-day afternoon Egyptian traffic after almost 20 hours of travel = feeling like this.

After getting dropped off, I wandered around and checked out a few hotels and hostels before deciding on a room at the Carlton Hotel on 26th of July Street (just a few blocks away from the Nile River!).

This was my room for 150 EP a night (around $27 USD)

Here's the view of Cairo from my room way on the top floor of the hotel.

I made it into my room around 2pm local time. Here's me soooo excited to take a shower and a nap! (I'm such a cornball).

I took a ninety minute nap and woke up feeling so refreshed that I decided to get right on with my sightseeing and set out to find my way to the insanely famous Museum of Egyptian Antiquities from my hotel on foot!

There are signs posted all inside the museum that say "No Photos", but considering they let me walk right into the museum with my camera in my hand, I figured it was probably no big deal to snap a few pics. (I'm not gonnna go crazy in there, but otherwise, how the heck am I supposed to remember the stuff I liked that I saw?)

Anyway, I snapped a bunch of pics and didn't make an effort to hide what I was doing and nobody looked twice. After walking around the museum for a while, I leaned that you could pay extra to enter the Royal Mummy Room and see 27 royal mummies!

As I bought my ticket to see the mummies, it became clear the relatively laissez faire approach to security in the rest of the museum did not apply to the ROYAL MUMMIES section. Security was TIGHT inside...

...which made it all the more fun to see how many sneaky mummy photos I could take without going to Egyptian jail! (I'm really good at taking sneaky pics - I can basically take pics like this with the camera inside my pocket!).

It's crazy when you think that this is the actual CORPSE of an EGYPTIAN KING from thousands of years ago.

I was in total awe. Truly one of the most mind-bending things I've ever seen in a museum (or on planet Earth in general).

After spending a long time marveling at the mummies, I went back out into the rest of the museum (because there's SO MUCH TO SEE). The museum was getting ready to close and there weren't many people around, so I didn't even bother to hide the fact that I was taking photos.

I'd already taken the extra precaution of putting in a brand new memory card and hiding the tiny memory card with all the mummy photos in a sneaky pocket sewn into my pants, so I wasn't really worried.

Pride goeth before the fall! As I was *on my way walking out of the museum*, literally 50 feet away from leaving, I turned around right in the middle of this huge room to take a picture of the awesome hugeness of these statues, and a guard appeared from behind a column (Indiana Jones style) stopped me and told me "Very bad. Very serious." OH SHIT.

He motioned for me to follow him to a doorway, which led to an empty hallway and then told me "Now you must wait here with me." Even though I was in the midst of assuming the worst, I knew that no matter what happened, I'd definitely have time to take the mummy memory card, chew it up and swallow it if I had to. And then I realized that being "detained" in the hallway didn't seem to make much sense so I decided to "go for it."

By going for it, I mean that I decided to do the Internation hand sign for "How about a nice big bribe and we can forget all about this?" by rubbing my thumb and my two forefingers together whilst simultaneously raising and lowering my eyebrows rapidly. He immediately recognized my gesture and countered with a gesture that I easily interpreted as "Sure, but it had better be a good one because I know you've probably got mummy photos on you."

I tried to venture a peek in my pocket without letting him see what I had (no easy task when you're dealing with money you've never seen before!). I quickly realized that I only had two bills on me! The first bill was a 25 Egyptian Pound note (about $4.50 USD) the other bill was twenty dollar bill! I decided it was better to be safe than sorry, folded up the twenty, and slipped it into his hand.

He tried to hide his smile and tried his best to play-off my subtle hand off with that look that everyone gets when they're like "Holy moly, this is just like a secret agent movie!" Just before he slipped the bill in his pocket, he couldn't resist a peek and glanced down at the bill. His eyes instantly got huge and he did a what looked like a vaudeville double-take. For a split second I thought I'd totally messed up, but then I realized that I just dropped a MONSTER bribe on him and he was intent on hustling me out of there before someone else got wind of the major jackpot he'd just hit. Hahahaha.

We quickly parted ways. I half-jogged my way to the exit smiling. I knew right then and there that me and Egypt were going to get along just fine.

As soon as I got back to my room, I jotted down a whole bunch of notes so I wouldn't forget any of the details of my museum "experience" and then decided to lay down for another nap. Cairo during the day is extremely hot, busy and soooo noisy and loud and a ten minute walk through town is enough to send your body into total sensory overload.

I woke up a little before midnight and decided to check out Cairo's streets at night and to try and find something to eat!

The section of town I was staying in had all sorts of twisty storybook alleys. I felt like I'd walked right into a page from a story in **One Thousand and One Nights**.

Found a late night cafeteria-type restaurant that was open and had all sorts of small plates. Check out the spread!

After eating, I wandered around for a couple hours taking pics and just enjoying watching all the night time activity.

The day time is too hot - so the markets come out at night!

Made it back to my hotel a little after 3am local time. A good first day.

Tuesday, March 18th

I woke up at 8am to an (already hot!) morning.

I headed down to the lobby for my complimentary breakfast!

Check out the atmosphere in the hotel dining room! I felt like a character in a Mahfouz novel as I sat at my quaint, colonial table for one and tried to figure a plan for the next day or two.

I decided to hire a car for the day, and drive outside of Cairo to visit three different sites: Saqqara, home of the oldest stone monument in human history; Dahshur, home to Snofru's Red Pyramid and Snofru's Bent Pyramid (I swear I'm not even making guy's name up!) and (ancient Egyptian city of) Memphis, home to the Colossus of Ramses II!

After finishing my breakfast, I grabbed my backpack and hit the streets of Cairo to try to find a driver! After a few failed attempts with drivers who spoke absolutely NO English, I finally met a driver who was willing to hear me out. Not that he spoke a single word of English either, he simply possessed enough patience to sit with me on the side of the road while I tried to communicate with a combination of phrases listed in the back of my guidebook and clumsy hand gestures.

After getting the gist that I wanted to hire him for the day, he told me that "We see friend with English." I agreed and he drove me to a hotel to visit a friend of his working as a security guard. His friend spoke great English and asked me where I wanted to go and how much I wanted to pay. I named the three cities and told him that I was offereing 200 EP (~$38 USD). He told me "Ahhhh! That is a very good and fair price!" He translated what I had just said for Ahmed, the driver, who happily agreed. After sitting in Cairo's morning traffic for close to an hour, we hit the highway and were on our way!

Apartment buildings on the outer edge of Cairo.

About 30km south of Cairo, we pulled off the highway and started driving the local roads to Saqqara.

Saqqara is a huge burial complex for the Old Kingdom of Egypt. We pulled off the lush green local roads and suddenly we were in the middle of a desert and there were two pyramids (well, one step pyramid and a pile of rubble!) rising out of the desert.

BTW, the pile of rubble is the remains of Userkaf's Pyramid! Guess that'll teach him to skimp on pyramid building supplies!

This is the back of Djoser's Step Pyramid. It's from 2630 BCE (4,640 years ago!!!) and is considered one of the oldest stone monuments in human history.

Bad ass. Ahmed and I had spent the hour-drive down doing our best to get to know each other. Despite the language barrier, we'd managed pretty well and I learned that despite having spent his entire life in Cairo, he'd never been to any of the sites we were visiting. It was cool to drive down the road with him and hear him having the same awed reaction as me.

Walking around other ruins to the site's entrance.

I cheat and take pictures of my guidebook. Otherwise, it'd be too easy to mix all the pyramids and statues up!

Obligatory shot of solo traveler in front of pyramid. Despite the fact that it was 110 F outside, wearing my BLACK HOODIE was preferable to exposing my skin to the mid-day Egyptian sun.

The remains of one of the funerary buildings.

What's crazy about all these sites is that they're still all working in progress. Everywhere you look for hundreds of yards there are all sorts of things in different half-states of excavation. It's insane.

The pyramids sit in the middle of the desert so there's nothing near them to give you a sense of scale. As you try to get closer to them, it feels like you walk and walk and they don't get any bigger. That's when their scale starts to dawn on you.

A row of carved cobras on the roof of one of the funerary buildings.

It's amazing to think that little details like this have survived for almost 5,000 years.

Here's me standing at the base of the wall with the cobras.

Looking up at the cobras from the ground.

Here's steps leading down to the entrance to one of the excavations that wasn't open to the public. Six storeys under the desert's surface, you know, NO BIG DEAL.

Another pile of rubble courtesy of another king who didn't have a good QA Department. Bummer.

Another huge hole in the ground that went down what seemed like 100 feet. If I remember correctly, this was the place where they excavated huge wood ships that were buried with one of the pharaohs buried here.

Check out this ancient road that was discovered in 1850. Archaeologists hypothesize that this road was used to transport "the procession of mummified bulls of the god of the dead, Osiris."

I walked all the way down to the restored gate.

Back in the day, the road ended pointing right smack at the pyramid that used to be where the big pile of sandy gravel is.

Almost every surface is covered with intricately carved hieroglyphics.

It was humbling to look at how detailed each single hieroglyph was. I can't even image how long or how many people it took to finish the carving on this one tiny section.

And pretty much every surface of every stone surface looks like this.

Slowly being re-swallowed by the drifting desert sands.

Safety is most definitely not priority number one amongst the Egyptian Antiquities department. All over the site there were pits like this one (which was easily 100+ feet deep) with no signs or anything that would prevent you from falling right down into it.

It's crazy to walk amongst such an extensive and ornate tribute to the kings and queens of a former civilization. I kept trying to imagine what will be left of our civilization in 3,000 years and what people examining it would think about us and what we believed in.

After exploring all of the excavations around the outskirts of the site, I walked back towards the main site...

...and was immediately accosted by like 10 dudes who all wanted me to pay them to let me sit up on their camel, horse and/or mule and take my photo.

The guy with the mule wasn't getting much love (everyone wanted to sit on camels) so I figured I'd throw in with the underdog!

So here are a bunch of pictures of me sitting on a tiny, tiny donkey in the middle of the Egyptian desert!

NOW PRETEND YOU'RE FIGHTING WITH YOUR DESERT STICKS. YES, JUST LIKE THAT. PERFECT!

Sorry, Camel. Maybe next time. (I do, however, like your neck pom poms!)

I met back up with Ahmed. We hit the road and set out for, Dahshur.

There she is, kids! Snofru's Red Pyramid, the oldest "true" (or "smooth-sided") pyramid in the world!

To the left of the Red Pyramid in the distance is Sneferu's Bent Pyramid!

Check it out! They spend hundreds of years building this pyramid at a 55-degree angle. But when they got towards the top, it kept collapsing, so they decided to modify the design and change the slope of the pyramid to 43-degrees in order to complete it.

Same pyramid, but with better rocks in the foreground. Haha.

Not sure who's pyramid this pile of rubble used to be. Awww, sad.

Most people go to see the Pyramids of Giza in Cairo and don't come to Dashshur so there were hardly any other people there. And, you can actually CLIMB UP THE PYRAMID and then crawl down a tiny shaft into the burial chamber!

Up close, the pyramid doesn't look very smooth.

Thousands of years later and the lines of the buildings are still incredibly precise.

Here's a shot to the left about halfway up my climb from the base to the secret-excavated shaft entrance that leads to the burial chamber.

The view of the desert from halfway up the pyramid.

Looking down on the two-camel guard station at the entrance to the pyramid's path.

Here's a picture of our descent into the burial chamber via a secret shaft that's hidden in the side of the pyramid! The shaftway is only 3' tall, 4' wide and goes down for over 200 feet at a 27-degree angle. I only took this one picture because it was such hard work hunching my way down the shaft in the crazy-heat!

Back outside and here's a final picture of the pyramid! (I didn't take any pictures of the vaults inside because there wasn't very much light (duh!) and my flash would've alerted the "camera police" inside.)

Next, Ahmed and I hopped back in the car and headed over to the open-air museum located at the former location of the ancient city of Memphis, which was the capital of the Old Kingdom.

The coolest thing there is the 30'-tall remains of the Colossus of Ramesses

And just in case you're not convinced that he's a badass yet, Ramses II name in Greek is Ozymandias, which means he's also the inspiration for Adrian Veidt's character in WATCHMEN!

Check out the bracelet made out of cartouches.

A close up of the intricate hieroglyphics carved all around the base of the sphinx.

At most of the antiquities sites in Egypt, there are armed guards like this. They all beckon you over (and you pretty much have to go because why would you ever risk disrespecting a man wearing a black wool uniform in the desert sun and carrying an assault-rifle) and when you go over and say hi - they ask you to take a picture of them, then do their best to shake you down for a "tip" for the privilege of capturing them in their uniform.

But, hey, what's a couple of extra bucks if it's gonna make some dude's day (and help keep all these statues safe!)

After Memphis, Ahmed and I hopped back in the car and headed back to Cairo.

Check it out, it's like the exit ramp to THE THUNDERDOME!

Here's me saying goodbye to Ahmed after we got back to my hotel around 4pm! This guy was the best! Despite only knowing a few words in each others' language, we managed to talk all day for an eight-hour road trip. Thanks again for driving, Ahmed!

I laid down in my room to read and try to recover from the brutal afternoon heat. I had brought along an Amazon Kindle (so I wouldn't have to lug around a bunch of books). When ever you're done reading, the Kindle has all these "screensaver" images that appear when you "lock" it. I locked it after reading and look at the screensaver that came up!

After a shower and a nap, I headed up to my hotel's rooftop to take in the view of the city...

...and to enjoy the sunset from their little rooftop garden.

There weren't many vegetarian options at the hotel, but at 6pm I was still not ready to venture back out into the chaos of the Cairo streets, so I just ordered a couple small dishes.

While eating, I busted out my guidebook and decided on Luxor as my next destination. Later that night, I set out to find the Cairo train station on foot and ended up purchasing a ticket to Luxor departing 8pm the next night!

By the way, a funny thing about Egypt: no cars have their headlights on at night! The only time they even get turned on is when drivers flash them while simultaneously honking (and not slowing down for) pedestrians trying to cross the street.

The moon peeking out from behind a mosque's minaret. Goodnight, Cairo!

14 comments

j-roddecember 30, 2009
Brian, I wish I had your sense of adventure. If I'd travel to Egypt with just a backpack and no plans, I'd be freaking out.
megdecember 31, 2009
SO amazing! I also envy your adventures!
numbersdecember 31, 2009
Freakin' Awesome!
gregdecember 31, 2009
Just the other day my dad was telling me the story of when he lived in Egypt as an 18 yr old (1952) and he visited the 3 pyramids in Giza. He climbed all three and even camped out at the top of one. Of course, you can't do anything like that now. Well, legally you couldn't back then either (he got arrested while climbing the third), but like your picture taking, you could get away with stuff if you were sneaky. It was cool to learn there are pyramids that you can legally climb.
christopher cochrandecember 31, 2009
Sometimes I wish we had a little more overt corruption in the States. It's nice when you bend the rules, a la pissing behind a dumpster or making a "U" turn in Oranjestad and President Jackson comes to your rescue. On the other hand, the shake-downs are a real pain in the ass, especially in Mexico...
leejanuary 2, 2010
Brian,
This report is awesome! Don't keep us waiting for months for parts 2 and 3, this is your best stuff!
mafalda69january 2, 2010
Wow, traveling with only the content of a backpack. Just like Dora The Explorer!
The Colossus of Ramses II looks amazing.
By the way TNT isn't a regular Airline. It's an international express mail service. TNT stands for Thomas Nationwide Transport. It's a alternative to DHL, much used in my country (France)and probably elsewere.
kemps - zuerich chjanuary 3, 2010
brian,
can you clarify? the 20 you used to bribe the guard was an american 20 bill?
nancyjanuary 4, 2010
so many of your entries have made me laugh out loud, but damn! the picture taking with the donkey piece is my favorite so far! hahaha. thanks for sharing!
samjanuary 4, 2010
Amazing to hear about your trip! FYI, my folks lived in Egypt for six years when I was in college, so I visited often - that weird complex in the middle of the desert is more likely than not a cement factory. They pop up in the middle of nowhere all over the desert out there...
oh lordjanuary 4, 2010
Great post Brian!
I want to come with you next time.
Waiting for Part Two to see if you brained anybody in Egypt.
brian b.january 4, 2010
Hi Kemps,
Yep, it was a $20 USD that I used to bribe the security guard! His eyes turned into dinner plates when he saw what it was.
Totally worth every penny just for his reaction. Not going to Egyptian jail was a bonus! ;)
sofia hjanuary 5, 2010
long-ish time reader, first time commentor.
you are one funny guy. i freakin lol all time when i´m here.
your blog makes me happy and want to have adventures!
that is all!
best wishes
kit k.february 24, 2010
Read your whole journal through the years. I just stopped in after 4 years of not checking in, and was LMAO all over again!! Nice to see you are still hilarious & such a wonderful, engaging author. Thank you for sharing.