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a thing in 18 photos in 2003

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wtf
Oh, and to look at the posters advertising the hugely uni-boobed woman that we'd apparently missed during our stay. How could this have happened?
european vacation part 17: the melidoni caves.
October 29, 2003
wtf
Ever notice how the Greeks have been kind of quiet on the world scene since inventing modern thought and baklava? Well it turns out that they've been teaching killer fish circus tricks. Unfortunately, the bizarre aquatic piranha circus wasn't happening until after we left. Boo!
european vacation part 12: knossos ruins.
October 27, 2003
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Greek for "Tasty Pigs???"
european vacation part 7: first day in crete!.
October 24, 2003
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Right after eating, we decided to do grab some groceries for the condo. (If you take our collective will-power and combined it, it would be equivalent to the will power of a cranky six year-old with ADD. Therefore, grocery shopping is an event we recognize can only be undertaken upon full stomachs!). Right when we walked into the store, we quickly got distracted by absolutely amazing rack of "SOUVENIR FROM GREECE" buttons. Here's just a few of our faves: Grant holds up "Suck My Bell End" (for all y'all not familiar with this charming British colloquialism, a "bell end" is the head, or "glans" of the penis).
european vacation part 7: first day in crete!.
October 24, 2003
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Chris (being Greek) demonstrates the proper way to wear this "Can I Lick Your Clit?" souvenir from Greece.
european vacation part 7: first day in crete!.
October 24, 2003
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And then, always a big hit with the ladies, there's the incredible "Show Us Yer PISS FLAPS" SOUVENIR FROM GREECE button. Seriously, if you're having a difficult time meeting people at parties, you need to get yourself one of these buttons. It's a no-fail conversation starter!

We actually purchased all three of these buttons in hopes that the person who woke up one morning and thought to themselves, "Hey! Wouldn't THAT make a GREAT souvenir button?" has since become a rich man.
european vacation part 7: first day in crete!.
October 24, 2003
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And also checked out a whole bunch of vehicles outfitted with monster tires.
european vacation part 2: reykjavik, iceland.
October 21, 2003
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Ahh sweet! The new scrotal augmentation store is finally here!
day off upstate
September 12, 2003
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I saw this on the subway: A huge advertisement for a new show on UPN called "The Mullets." Before throwing myself onto the tracks, I decided it'd be better to wait a few weeks and see how the show did. If it failed miserably, maybe there'd still be some hope for this planet and I wouldn't have to kill myself. So now that some time has passed I Googled the show to find out how it's doing and the good news is that it was put on hiatus after 6 episodes because it was the "the least-watched series on any of the six networks this fall." Yay! I can live! *Whew!*
the september roundup part one
September, 2003
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So right when they were bringing the cake out, I got called up to sing. I grabbed the dick off the cake (thinking it was just a plastic dick) and stuffed it down my pants. Only after the song was over did I realize the dick was actually made out of white chocolate and if it wasn't ruined right when I shoved it down my underwear, it was certainly ruined when I let an enthusiastic audience member stub out their cigarette on it (see the ash mark?). Doh. Uh, sorry about that one guys.
sarah's lingerie karaoke birthday party
August 06, 2003
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And with the spankings out of the way it was time for birthday cake woooo!
sarah's lingerie karaoke birthday party
August 06, 2003
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Okay I know this a little random, but you know you're living close to Chinatown when your local bodega's got these stocked! (Hehehe. Just Kidding!) Anyway, "Snugger Fit?" Oh, man - what's worse than having to go up to the register with a package of these bad boys? Oh wait, having a girl you've never slept with before see this package before she sees your, um, package.
the august roundup
August, 2003
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Sunday morning we felt like, well, like we should've felt considering the amount of drinking we'd done the night before. A bewildered Kate holds up a pair of panties she found on the floor that don't belong to her. Huh?
bidness in los angeles
July 24, 2003
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Okay, I just spent ten minutes trying to think of a funny caption for this photo but have come to the conclusion that nothing is funnier than just pointing out her expression. Just look how proud of herself she is. You can almost see her daydreaming about the non-existent day in the future when one of these clowns becomes the next Basquiat and she'll have the dress all hanging in a glass case on her wall telling her friends at a cocktail party, "Well, the moment I saw him writing those squiggles on the wall, I just knew I had to have him paint me. I needed to be his canvas."

If anyone living on a farm in Iowa is reads this, and you've got some extra room in your barn or something, email me because I need to get the fuck out of this city.
the july roundup
July, 2003
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After Doogie and Keanu, I thought that there'd be no where to go but down. But then I managed to snap this pic of The Sweatiest Armpit Guy Ever. Suh-weet!
the matrix reloaded movie party
May 13, 2003
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Check this crazy shit out - we're following behind David (who's driving the Ryder truck) in Frank's car and at a traffic light we look over at the covered pick-up truck stopped next to us and we see a partially covered human skeleton in the back. We were like "What the fuck?" There was a scrap of cloth partially pulled over the skull which Frank figured that was there "To hide the fuck hole." (Did anyone else get that? Or does the fact that we immediately recognized a "skull fucking" joke mean that we're all a bit "not right?")
grant and fatty move
May 03, 2003
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See? You just can't help yourself. Damn, that's some good Boing!
grant and fatty move
May 03, 2003
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Painting makes you thirsty - so I went into Grant's fridge to look for something to drink to discover that the only thing he had was this box of "Boing!" (Boing! is a fake mango drink that makes you want to say its name as you jump around with the box).
grant and fatty move
May 03, 2003