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There were even all sorts of special "rock star" amenities. Like the raised "fuck me" stage that the bed was on!
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We took the elevator up to one of the fancy floors and located Matt in his totally free fancy room! The place had arbitrarily-placed flatsreen TVs on pretty much every surface.
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Turns out $20 will buy you thirty seconds of Rubano's weirdly muscled "Man Crack!"
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"........liiiiiiiiiiiiiife!"
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...but from this photo of Matt pretending he's putting his foot up on a monitor, I'm going to venture a guess and say it was probably something by Iron Maiden. "Run to the hills....run for your..."
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Just when Matt had recovered from Jenny and Karen's rendition of one of his band's songs, he was called up to sing! I don't remember what song it was...
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...and Matt was pretty much horrified. Hahaha.
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Matt = traumatized. Hahaha.
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Quinn and Matt.
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We finished Cranium a little after one, and everybody rallied and decided to head to karaoke! I love how everyone in this photo is all "Woooo! Party!" except for Benjamin. Hahaha.
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Scandalous!
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...Shruti, Sarah and Matt.
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...and Gurj (seen here trying to figure out what hell Faran was trying to get Benjamin the puppet to act out).
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But hey, at least my balls aren't peeking out of my waistband all tight-and-shiny. (Matt, after you're done braining someone, you have to remember to put your luggage away!)
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On Saturday night, Matt and I went out again and Matt wanted to "brain" strangers. His jeans were too tight for him to pull his ball-sack out through his fly, so he got creative and just decided to pull up his sack so that it was peeking out of the top of his waistband! Hahahaha.
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Hahaha.
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This about sums up the experience.
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Rubano was there! In this photo he's subtly pointing out the girl with the totally gross past-her-asscrack hair. We pretty much missed out on the entire show because we were discussing all the potential bathroom-related disaster that could befall a person with hair that long. Gross.
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...and JEW HORNS!
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On Sunday a whole bunch of us met up for brunch in honor of Matt finally returning to NYC after almost a year of constant touring! Welcome back, buddy!
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While on tour, he grew a jazz pony tail...
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Stay classy, everyone!
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Team 3 was Quinn, Ellen and The Joobs.
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...everyone just kept yelling out "FEET FEET VAGINA-FEET!"
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And the legend of "FEET! FEET! VAGINA-FEET!" was born.
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...for a party!
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After a couple hours of "regular party," the party turned into a CRANIUM party!
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...so that the ladies could all swoon and fawn over Matt. Thanks for hooking it up, homie! I had an awesome time!
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The van ride home! Grant sat upfront with me...
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....GO! Here we are racing towards Grant who's holding his hands out as a makeshift finish line. (I won...but only by a c-hair!)
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On the walk out to the van, somehow Matt and I started talking about running which led to an argument about who was faster. We decided to settle that shit on the spot with a parking lot footrace! Ready, set...
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Action jump-shot in the parking lot. I love this photo SOOOOO MUCH! From L to R: Karen, Jenny, Matt, Gurj, Grant and Meredith!
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Hahahaha.
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But that wasn't going to stop Meredith from getting a titty autograph backstage! Hahaha. (BTW, who licks a pen anymore? Who are you, my grandpa?)
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Hahaha. Check out Matt! I caught him mid-mock!
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Karen, Matt and Jenny decided to sit the swings out (mostly so they could mock us from the sidelines).
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Right after we'd finished renting the beeper thingy, Matt came and found us! Here he is flashing bling and cheddar with his bitches.
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Awwwww, yeah! (I love how there's a single peeking out of his "bankroll." Hahaha).
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Here's Matt, (the magic man that made this whole incredible day possible!) seen here showing off the cut forehead and bruised eye that he got when his band's singer was whipping a microphone around his head on stage and Matt caught it with his face! Oooof!
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Later that night Mer and I went to the Annex and met up with Matt Rubano and Chris!
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Matt Rubano was there and was sporting a sick Macbeth t-shirt. (No, not the play! We're talking about the Italian Gothic Metal Band, duh!)
This video of the band warming up on the bus before their show in Charlotte is one of my favorite things from tour.