We decided it was time for a lunch break. I tried to buy "two pizzas" and the woman working at the concession stand said to me "Two pizzas and two fries?" Me, "No, two pizzas." Her, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve pizza without fries." After clarifying that it was actually not possible to purchase justafuckingpizzawithoutfries, we decided to go with something totally different: the breadsticks.
We waited online for Superman for almost three hours and then it broke down when there were 2 people in front of us in line! We waited for a while to see if they could get the ride working, but I had to pee so badly that we had no choice but to leave the line! Hahaha.
We arrived to find the parking lot COMPLETELY MOBBED. Look how far away we had to park! We'd forgotten that this was the week of Spring Break for most high schools. Noooooooo!
...we'd made it to the (almost totally empty) parking lot. We'd made such good time on the way down that we had plenty of time to set up my camera to try to catch shots of us jumping in the air using the auto-timer. Haha.
About an hour after we'd used our little doohickey to reserve a time, it was time to head back to Nitro and ride that shit. Here's the ride reflected in Meredith's palm-tree shades.
And then Grant decided to "cool down" with a giant, 2 lb, barbeque TURKEY LEG! Hahaha. (Gross! Who the fuck can eat turkey in 90+ degree heat? You're so lucky you didn't die of salmonella).
After the swings, we decided to get something to get something to eat. On the walk over I spotted what is hands down, the best tramp-stamp tattoo I've ever seen. What's that? Can you get a little zoom-effect? SURE, you can!
Here's a pic (stolen from Dens!) of us on the coaster! This was the ride where Dennis discovered he wasn't a huge fan of roller coasters! (The three of us all have our arms in the air and he's holding on for dear life).
Long story short, we get to Kingda Ka and the line is closed. I give the guard a sob story about how we'd only gotten to ride ONE RIDE (er, ok...and a $20 handshake...cha-ching!) and we were magically admitted to the line. Four hour wait, my ass! Wooooo! Here's us right up at the front of the line.
I passed the time in line by pretending to take pictures of Dennis so that I could capture a few surreptitious pictures of this awesomely awful "Growing Up Gotti" dude that was in line behind us. Sweet line-beard, dude! But then I stopped because I think he was catching on to me and the only thing worse than getting beat up by a 17 year-old is getting beat up by a 17 year-old with that wears foundation make up! Hahah.
We were all stoked, because we figured that Great Adventure would be totally empty on a Tuesday in October - but by the time we got to the park a little past 3pm, the place was totally fucking mobbed. We decided to go to one of the mellower coasters figuring the line would be the shortest and were met with this line that stretched out past the ride's entrance! Nitro: an hour and twenty minute wait!
Right when we got to the park, the first thing we noticed was Kingda Ka! They had just finished building it and none of has ridden it yet. It's 45 stories tall and uses a hydraulic launcher to catapult you from 0 - 128mph in 3.5 seconds. Total insanity. (At the time we were there, it was the world record holder for the fastest and tallest roller coaster!).
And again and again and again. Six more times in total. (We were going to ride it a seventh, but after a while our insides felt all shifty and weird and I remember how if you're exposed to too much g-force you can tear some of the connective tissue in your abdomen that holds all of your organs in place and then you poop blood. This actually happened to my little brother when were visiting my aunt down in South Carolina years and years ago. They had just gotten a huge trampoline and he spent over 5 hours a day jumping up and down on it, by the fourth or fifth day: Blood poop.) So, six is enough, right? No one wants blood poop. Especially not on your birthday.
After Batman, we headed over to check out Nitro - which at 230ft (over 20 storeys!!!) is the largest traditional roller coaster on the entire east coast.
If you ever find yourself at Great Adventure, do not, I repeat, DO NOT ride this ride. Sure, you'll be saying to yourself "But look at the cool-ass sign! There's a fucking Viper on it for Christ's sake." But trust me, after this shitty ass ride slams your skull into the about-as-soft-as-pavement head "guards" about, oh, 150 times in 60 seconds you're going to be cursing that oh-so-cool viper sign (that is if you can even remember what a viper, a curse or a sign is).
