December 23, 2003

Christmas with the Fam

After an epic night of karaoke, Tuesday morning I woke up, ran a few errands around the city and then hopped a Jersey-bound train at Penn Station to head home and hang with the fam for the holidays.

Tuesday, December 23rd

Here's me walking to the post office in the morning to mail off my Xmas present to Tara before heading to Penn Station (I heart my little T-ra so much I even made her neat little custom envelope for her package. Awww).

kara — Right when I got into Jersey later that night, I got a call from Kara Saks (who was home from Canada) and went out to meet them at a nearby bar. Here's Roxbury High School in full effect: Donna Grodeska, (Dennis Crowley lookalike) Brian Brunton, and Kara.

Wednesday, December 24th

Wednesday morning I woke up and my brother pointed out the the nubby part of my left nipple is shaped like a heart. (I also pee rainbows and shit unicorns).

brett — What's up best photo of all time? Just as I was about to snap a pic of the delicious cinnamon buns baking in the oven, my brother, who loves cinnamon buns more than ANYONE you've ever met, pops his excited face into view.

brett, dad, mom — Mom and dad getting their breffast on as well.

After polishing off the pan of CR with extreme prejudice (and extra icing), Brett and I headed to the nearby Rockaway Mall to do some last minute (read: all of our) Christmas shopping. Literally ever single male excluding us weighed in at a deuce-twenty (complete with a fake tan). We were tracking this orange hulk for a few stores trying to get a better picture - but when he turned around after this pic and gave us the "I'm not sure exactly what you're up to just yet but I will figure it out and then rip your arms off" look, we decided we'd better quit while we were ahead.

brett, me — Because there's nothing worse than a freshly armless Christmas. Foodcourt!

On the ride home we were glad to see that they finally installed a word of warning for any ladies that might be following us back to our place for a romp.

amy b, brett, me — That evening we all put on our most festivest Christmas sweaters (check out the bright green v-neck I dug up in my dad's closet)...

amy b, me, mom — ...and packed in the car to go to south Jersey for our annual Christmas Eve with my great uncle and aunt Walt and Ann (You know the drill by now, we do it every year (. Here's the backseat crizzew: me, mom and Brett's girlfriend Amy.

brett — Where every year the kitchen table greets us with no less than ten different cakes and pies.

brett, me — The Battjer Treat Hounds.

uncle walt — Present time for Walt and Ann's grandkids.

amy b, brett, dad, mom — My fam hung back and worked at destroying the pie and cake table.

And I busied myself taking artsy photos of the little magnetic ice skating men.

Yay.

brett, uncle walt — My Great Uncle Walt laying down some holiday licks on the trumpet. (While Brett just sits back and waits his turn...)

uncle walt — Here's Walt with my cute little cousin, uhhh, Whathisname. (Hey, he's really my second cousin once-removed which technically gives me another year or two before I'm required to know his name).

dad, mom — He really is cute though. Here he is jumping off a table onto my mom's lap.

brett, me, uncle bob — Brett and I with our other Great Uncle: Uncle Bob!

brett, dad, mom — Holy red family photo, Batman.

amy b, brett, mom, uncle walt — Note my mom drinking something with alcohol in it....

amy b, brett, mom — ...which means BLAMO!, she's instantly asleep ten minutes later on the ride back north. My mom will get drunk from only a sniff of the barmaid's apron. Hahaha.

mom — After her little nap on the way home, mom was rested enough to dig up her scary Grand Wizard of the Klu Klux Klan Santa (which you may remember caused a stir last year) and returned him to his wrongful place at the top of our tree.

Talk about a White Christmas.

mom — Present time!

brett — Brett shows off his "Eggnog Steel" sexy face (it's the xmas-themed variation of "Blue Steel").

dad — Somebody on this site pointed out that my Dad looks just like Peter, the father from the cartoon "The Family Guy" and now I can't see a pic of him without thinking about how true that is.

dad — Dad with a doohickey.

mom — Mom with a whatchamacallit.

brett — Brett with a giant, plum button-up shirt.

Thursday, December 25th

amy b, aunt elaine, brett, chad, dad, grandma, grandpa, lindsey, me, mom, uncle walt — For Christmas day, my grandparents and one of my mom's sister's family (The Carricks) came to our house. Christmas dinner in the house y'all. When I say "Hey," you say "Ho!" Now when I say "Je" you say "sus!"

amy b, aunt elaine, brett, chad, dad, grandma, grandpa, lindsey, me, mom, uncle walt — "Now throw your hands in the air and scream!"

chad, mom — Time for more presents! Cousin Chad with an always exciting envelop (Cizzash!)

aunt elaine, grandma, lindsey — Gram, Aunt Elain and Lindsay.

zoe — Zoe knew it was almost time for..

zoe — ...her wrapped treat-present.

Saturday, December 26th

brett, dad — Hahaha. Saturday I stepped outside and caught the Bobsey Twins smoking.

brett, dad — In almost matching outfits no less (again!)

emily, me — Saturday night, Emily and I put on our fancy duds and headed out to enjoy the only worthwhile nightlife in our town...

jo jo russell, me — ...Saturday night karaoke at Chi-Chi's Mexican Strip Mall restaurant. Holla!

emily, jo jo russell, me — You know him, you love him. Ladies and gentleman, put your hands together and give a warm welcome to Chi-Chi's Mexican Mall Strip's very own, Music Man Jo-Jo Russell! (Yo, y'all may remember Jo Jo from entries like "Thanksgiving 2002," the good news is, his long-promised website is finally up and running!)

emily, me — After karaoke, we headed over to the *ahem* Roxbury Diner (which for as long as we'd known it had always been called the Victoria Diner before the Hatzimihalis family decided to go all weak on us and cash out) for some late night burgers...

...complete with Disco Fries (fries with mozzarella cheese and gravy).

Sunday, December 27th

On Sunday I gave my brother a haircut.

brett — Boo-yah!

hank battjer — And then while down in the basement looking for something, I discovered a trunk that I had never seen. It turned out to be filled with my dad's father's (who passed away when I was ten) photo albums from when he was a pilot in the South Pacific in WWII. Turns out he was a avid photographer that put all of his photos into meticulously arranged, chronological albums and even wrote smart-ass captions for each pic in white grease-pencil! They're amazingly similar to THIS WEBSITE. (Talk about being genetically predisposed....how strange is it that I would have a hobby so similar to my grandfather's never having known he did it?). Anyway, I spent the rest of this day scanning pages from the album and there's going to be a forthcoming "I Keep A Diary: OLDSCHOOL" edition coming up soon compliments of Hank J. Battjer.

Monday, December 28th

dad, uncle bruce — On Monday we drove down to South Jersey to visit with my dad's brother Uncle Bruce!

brett, dad, uncle bruce — Dad, Brett and Bruce. Right after this picture was taken, Bruce turned to me and said "Hey, you're not working right now are you?" Me, "Nope, I'm still looking for an interesting job. Why, you know of something?" Bruce: "Nope, but I just realized that I have to go on a business trip and I'm not going to be able to make it to Aruba to use my timeshare there and it's too late to cancel. Do you want a free week at a nice resort in Aruba?" Me: "Ummm, yeah." Bruce: "Cool, if you can find cheap tickets on short notice, it's all yours." And that's how I ended up in Aruba during the last ten days of January 2004.

amy b, dad, mom, steve b, uncle bruce — Dinner with the other Battjers! The end!