Saw this great car sticker in the neighborhood. People who live at the Jersey Shore year-round call the people who ONLY live their in the summer "Bennies" because they come down to enjoy the "benefits" of the beach and then leave.
On our way to the bridge, we stopped off in Manahawkin to drive through our old neighborhood there and see how the houses faired during Hurricane Sandy.
Boys weren't invited to the shower (tragic!), so after the women-folk left for the party, my dad and I drove down to south Jersey so he could show me the new house they'd just bought.
We went a bit further south and hit total gridlock. Traffic was so backed up that the highway signs started announcing that some of the beaches were CLOSED because there was no more parking anywhere near them. With a car full of people and nowhere to go, Justin spoke up and said "My parents live near here." Silence. "Oh, and they have a swimming pool, paddle boats and a trampoline." The group unanimously decided to head to Justin's parent's house! Haha.
On the drive north back to my parent's house, we stopped at someplace near the Garden State Arts Center (or whatever it's called these days) to check out some drive-through Holiday Lights show.
Hell, by the time the song was finished, I'd even managed to win over the lead singer dude and he suggested that I sing a second song! (And I don't even remember what song it was - only that I knew it even less-well than the Lit song).
So after a few songs, the band, (who I've since found out is called Drunk Uncle Bob) took a break. I pulled the singer aside and this time I managed to convince him to let me sing a song! Then after he agreed to let me do it, it almost didn't happen because I didn't know most of the songs in the bands repertoire. In the end I managed to convince him that I sorta knew the words to My Own Worst Enemy by Lit and that I'd be able to wing it. Check out the singer's expression: totally annoyed because I'm messing up the words. Hahah.
If you've read any of those previous Thanksgiving entries (linked up there above), you'll know that the first thing that I do whenever I go home for Thanksgiving is go to a bar called "The Barn" that's become the de facto place for impromptu Roxbury High School reunions! (By the way, when did Mystery the pick-up artist start frequenting the place?)
About an hour after we'd gotten there, a cover band took the stage. I crossed the bar and saw that it was the same cover band that was there last year when I tried to convince the singer to let me sing a song and he told me no. (Me: "Hey, you guys are great! Can I sing a song with you?" Him: "Ummm, but I'm the singer." and then I was like "Yeah, but it's only a cover band - it's not like I don't know the songs or something." And he got offended and just walked away. Hahah.)
Anyway, the band started playing some hot Jersey jams, and the next thing you know, chicks (with tambourines!) climbed up onto the bar and started dancing!
But by far, the most exciting part of the evening (I mean, besides getting to see Jen Eva) was that I finally got to meet Eric Wormann. Eric's a guy that I started emailing with after he told me that it was this my site that inspired him to start his own epic & hilarious photo blog! He grew up a few towns away from me and kept swearing that one day he was going to make a pilgrimage down to The Barn! So I was stoked to finally get to meet him. (And I'd always like to point out that after all the shit he used to give me about not updating this site, he's since slacked off on his and is currently a year behind in posting! HA!)
Then another lady, in a belly-shirt and clingy ass-pants, climbed up on the bar and was gyrating like a woman-possesed. All the dudes were yelling and screaming and getting all up in her booty, so I went over to check her out...
Me and a guy named Billy Lashavicke (sp?) who I don't think I even said like 10 words to in all the 6 years we went to school together - but then 11 years and three Scotches later and you're best buds!
And with my good friend Amy Albano. Right when we walked in the door, we started running into high school chums! Here's Amy posing with Jen Eva (who I had the biggest crush on back in high school when she sat in front of me in geometry sophomore year...yeah, can you blame me?) and her little brother Ricky Eva (who has since got all growed up and actually works with my mom as an occupational therapist in a nearby public school!)
On Sunday I took the train down to south Jersey to hang out with my family down at my parent's little shore house in Mannasqaun. Here's my brother and his lady Amy and my parents about to get their lunch on.
Rachael and me (I'm just noticing now how much that black sweater of mine shrunk in the was - it's starting to looking like a god-damned baby-tee. Jesus.)
After all getting crunked up at The Barn (uh, except for me Dad, because I was the driver) we headed over to The Roxbury Diner (which we all know is really still called The Victoria Diner) for some late night grub. I like how when everyone started throwing gangsigns, my brother's gangsign is to simultaneously pinch both his titties and look "naughty."
...round up a crew and head to the local townie bar that's called "The Barn!" Believe it or not, The Barn actually used to be a restaurant called Seafood Shack when I was growing up in town! Seafood Shack. A winning name like that and they still went out of business. Shocking, right? Steak Shanty is gone as well. Go figure.) Anyway, over holidays The Barn is the defacto place that everyone I went to high school with goes to catch up with everyone else. Here's Amy (my brother's girlfriend), Grant, Brett and Meredith preparing for their very first Barn Experience!
...Tha Grizza! Talk about the two best Thanksgiving guests of all time! We hopped on an NJ Transit Train headed westward towards Succasunna, NJ (where I grew up!).
On Monday (the day after my birthday) I went down to meet up with my parents and their little shorehouse near Long Beach Island in southern NJ. Here's my mom, brother, dad and Uncle Bruce chilling on the beach at LBI.
After polishing off the pan of CR with extreme prejudice (and extra icing), Brett and I headed to the nearby Rockaway Mall to do some last minute (read: all of our) Christmas shopping. Literally ever single male excluding us weighed in at a deuce-twenty (complete with a fake tan). We were tracking this orange hulk for a few stores trying to get a better picture - but when he turned around after this pic and gave us the "I'm not sure exactly what you're up to just yet but I will figure it out and then rip your arms off" look, we decided we'd better quit while we were ahead.
Saturday night, my brother and I crossed the bridge to experience some Long Beach Island night life action. We went to some club and managed to catch a clutch Bruce Springsteen cover band (I shit you not). Even though faux-Bruce rocked the house, the night didn't come close to last year's LBI Nightlife Antics.
After getting the ladies all wet with a solo rendition of the Police's 1978 hit "Roxanne," Emily and I stepped up to the mic to kick a duet of Human League's 1982 hit "Don't You Want Me." Check out DJ/Entertainer Jo Jo Russell (the karaoke emcee) pumpin his fist Arsenio Hall style. "Hoo Hoo Hoo!"
Hulk Hogan's (not so) Little Sister. Jesus Christ, look at that fucking forearm! We would've been laughing hysterically if we weren't so scared that she was going to grab hold of one of our heads and crack it open like a walnut with her bare (man)hands.
Hahahah. Meanwhile, on the other side of the parking lot, Cousin Steve is trying to make time with 3 lovely EnJay ladies who all easily have 10+ years on him. He's all asking if he can go home with them and one of them goes "How old are you anyway, sixteen?"
See that girl in the purple tank top? I asked her what kind of beads she was wearing and she told me they were Mardi Gras beads, so I started chanting "Show Yer Tits! Show Yer Tits!" Which she did, but my camera went off too early. Sorry, I got excited! (PS - Look at Kenny lending a "helping hand" in lifting up her shirt)
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