misshapes


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misshapes
Cute!
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I ended up staying after hours and meeting Sandra's friends Terese (swoon!) and Jelena who were in town visiting!
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On Saturday night I went to see the Ooh Las play at MisShapes!
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My two favorite costumes of the night? This guy, who was like 6'5" tall and dressed like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. And...
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Ryan did pretty, pretty decent for his first time! Bravo!
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Ilirjana tried to make an ugly face but pretty much just ended up making a Pete Wentz face.
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Same goes for you, Rutner.
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Sarah stepped up to the plate and delivered this pretty sweet "Zombie" ugly face!
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Blood-spattered Jenny decided to make an ugly face...which ALWAYS spawns a series of Ugly Faces!
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Hehehe.
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Mahsa. It's her first time so I'm gonna let her slide, but suffice it to say, she really needs to step her ugly-face game up.
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Sarah with Ryan from the (UK band) Littl'ans
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Mahsa and Jenny.
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Don Hill's was WAY too crowded and sweaty, so I spend most of the night hiding in the little secret section drinking free booze (woo!). Ilirjana and Karen.
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...and to celebrate Geordon's birthday!
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...MisShapes to see The Horrors play...
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Goodnight!
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Sean hates vagina mouth.
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...until Seth ruined it was his "vagina mouth" intrusion. Hahaha.
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We hopped into a cab and headed over to MisShapes, where after years of internet friendship (dorks!), Tara and Leigh finally got to meet in person! Awww! It was a picture-perfect moment...
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Tara weighed in large-and-in-charge with RAPTORFACE!
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Then we made stupid faces!
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Leigh does her impression of a stressed-out elf!
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On Saturday night I went to MisShapes and hid down in the basement with Leigh and Thomas.
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Vampire! Hiss!
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Sean loves to say "ooooh" photos. It's the new hotness.
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John and Limesmile were both there.
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I kicked off the month at MisShapes. I got there late and found Ben Cho, Quinn and Gurj hiding out in the back booths.
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Awwwww! Who's a lil' birthday elf?
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Later, later, later that night, I went to MisShapes to wish lil' Miss Leigh Lezark a happy birthday!
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Hahahaha. I'm not sure who had a hold of my camera to capture these two shots, but whomever you were, you are awesome!
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Brother Lawrence DOES NOT approve of boob-nuzzling in public!
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Then we hit the dance floor! (Quinn, why are you yelling at Michelle's hair?)
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What's up, TWELVE YEARS LATER! Jeez! (PS - If you look in the background behind Michelle, you can see Don Hill! Dude's gotta be in his late 50s (at least!) and he's still at his own club every night until closing!)
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Look out! Look out! Hair-biting vampire attack!
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...there was a vampire attack! HISS!
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...twice in a row with different girls! It's 4am in this photo and the bar was closed. In the midst of taking stupid pics with Lauren...
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A half an hour later, I went downstairs to get my coat and lookee who I found catchin' a lil' nap down in the basement. Hey, we all need a break sometimes. ; )
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Here's me making the same stupid face...
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Here's another pic of the cute girl while Posh Tony can be seen in the background incessantly flapping his gums (as he's wont to do).
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Then I ran into Posh Tony and some cute (Australian?) girl he was with. (By the way, I don't know if you can tell from this photo, but Posh Tony looks EXACTLY like a "white version" of JB Smoove, the black dude who plays Leon on the new season of Curb Your Enthusiasm. Hahahahah.)
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...the present! After the arm wrasslin' bout, I ran into Lauren Flax! Who was...
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...soft-packin' a big pink mic! Hahah.
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Lauren's good friend Crazy Jay was there. He took Lauren's inflatable microphone and showed off his...
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...Jay's buddy swept in for a little double-dong action. Hahahah.
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Then he flipped the mic around to show-off how he could also get his mouth "completely around the wide-part too!" Just when you thought it couldn't get any gayer...
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...skillz! Hahaha. He was so proud of this. He kept being like "Dude, check it! Check it! I have no gag reflex. I can take this mic ALL THE WAY DOWN!" Hahaha.
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Here's Leigh summoning an extra jolt of power from her broken, wonky finger. In the end, they called it a draw! Fancy should've totally turned his hat around backwards and turned "from a man to a MACHINE!", ala Lincoln Hawk (!!!), the competitive arm wrestler (expertly!) portrayed by Sylvester Stallone's in the greatest (only?) arm wrestling-themed movie of all time: "Over the Top". What's that? You've never heard of this incredible movie? Dont' worry, YouTube's got you covered.

Not to go too far off onto an "Over the Top" tangent, but I think it's probably important (cathartic?) for me to mention that not only did I see this movie in the theater during its original theatrical run, I saw this movie on my very first date! How insane is that? I was in fifth grade, and Geri Fox and I went on a double date with Jimmy Rotsides and Renee Rusch! Hahaha. Afterwards, the girls' parents picked them up and then Jimmy and I went to the Ledgewood Mall where I bought one-pound bag of watermelon jellybeans (at Sound-o-rama!) and then went and slept over Jimmy's house. We talked about how awesome our dates went and how awesome we were for taking "our girls" to the "right" movie. I ended up eating the entire one-pound bag of jellybeans and threw up in the middle of night. Holy jeez, what memories! How did I get so old?

And now it's time for the "where are they now" part of this VH1 series: Geri Fox is married, I ran into her and met her husband at Bev Chase's wedding! Jimmy Rotsides, unfortunately, died. He sort of grew up into a rough character and sometime around '99 or so he ended up falling out of a canoe while fishing and drowned in a pond in my home town. Sad. As for Renee Rusch, I have no idea what happened to her! So Renee, if you ever read this, say hi! (Okay, this is starting to sound like the lyrics to a Bryan Adams' song "Jimmy died, Geri got married..." so I guess that means it's time to leave memory lane and get back to...
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I know it looks like they're kidding around, but I assure you, this was DEADLY SERIOUS. Here they are approaching the end of minute one and they're still locked up at the top! (Check out Alexis' face as she cheers them on. Hahaha!)
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...and then it was ON!
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and suddenly, an impromptu arm wrestling match broke out! They fiercely locked arms...
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I was at the bar getting a drink with Leigh and Alexis when, out of nowhere, Fancy (yes, that's his name) ran over to say hi to Leigh...
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On Saturday night I went to MisShapes with Brandon and Sarah (seen here with Sean Dack sneaking in the last-minute bird). It was so hot and crowded and sweaty that we tried to hide out in a tiny corner in the back.
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Before she was a big shot porn star and porn mogul (NFSW, duh), Joanna used to be our intern at Nerve.com waaaay back in the day! Awwww! We caught up on old times and she invited me to come to a party she was throwing later on in the week to celebrate the release of her company's newest porno movie! Our little intern's all growed up! (that last link is really, REALLY NSFW!)
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And then, right afterwards, I ran into Merlin taking photos of Joanna Angel.
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Closing time! A little while later I ran back into Ollie (this time with a bonus Gurj!) and we got our things and headed back east.
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I went downstairs to hide my things and ran into Ollie!
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I got there a little after 3am and immediately located this little elf.
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...I watched Julien Gilbert give Leigh a back-room LAPDANCE! Hahahahah.
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It was awesome. He was totally grinding all up in her piece and she was laughing uncontrollably and couldn't make eye-contact.
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Than later, in the wee hours of the night...
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Me and the Tinny.
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Ben Cho and Ryan.
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And then even later on Saturday night I braved the cold and went over to MisShapes and when I got there Leigh (no longer wearing pink and red) stole my hat.
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Waaaaay later that night (after I'd gotten a chance to go home, change out of my suit and tie and sleep off my open-bar wastedness) I headed over to MisShapes. I only took two photos. This one.
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And this one. Eric George in the higgity, yo.
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Leigh came over and got in the mix.
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Nice!
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I asked Scott (aka - the MisShapes photographer who took most of the photos that ended up in the MisShapes book!) to give me some uggz.
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Chubb-neck!
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Hahaha.
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Excellent use of the "floater eye!"
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...rolling with her biddies!
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Lauren Flax was there...
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"Houston...we have touchdown! I repeat: touchdown! We've made contact with THE BROWS!"
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"Mission control, do you read? We're coming in for a landing. Contact in 5....4....3....2...."
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Josh, who knew what was about to happen to this poor sleeping gent, tried to be a nice guy and rouse him from his slumber. But to no avail.
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Around 4:30am, the place was pretty much cleared out, but Josh and I found this one dude that was totally passed out.
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...THIS! Hahahahaha. Holy fucking shit! This is the hands-down winner. It's going to be tough for anyone to EVER top this one.
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I ran into Josh and asked him to give me his ugliest face. He took a moment to compose himself, and then busted out with...
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Hahaha.
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Afterwards, I went to Don Hills to catch the end of MisShapes. I was shocked to find Leigh actually DJing when I arrived! It was like the first time I'd been there in months where she wasn't hiding out somewhere!
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Me and Greg.
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Despite it being so-so, we stayed and danced until closing.
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Oh Annabella, you little teen minx, you.
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Speaking of jail bait, Martin was there!
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Here's me giving Mike the ol' "no really, this party used to be waaaaay more fun than this" speech. He wasn't buying.
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Let's hear it for jail-bait!
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Or at least he wasn't until Annabella (who was my lil' teen crush back in January of 2006) showed up!
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...that "find the differences between these two pictures of a slutty naked lady" game!
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After the ball, I went over to MisSahpes and on the way downstairs to hide my coat, I ran into John and Ellen who were totally transfixed by...