All of the kids usually end up hiding in the corner by the food and get krunked on free Scotch! Check out my huge, mooney I'm drunk at 2pm face. Hahah.
We left the party and by the time we got back out on the street both my brother and Sid had finished their bottles of Night Train. (The next day while we were looking at all these photos my brother got to this one and said "Yep, finishing that bottle of Night Train and posing for this photo is pretty much the last thing I remember." Hahaha. At the next party we met...
On the way over, we stopped in a liquor store where my brother and Sid, despite my repeated warnings, decided to try Night Train Express (the very finest of fortified bum wines) for the very first time. I was like "Yo, Guns N' Roses even wrote a song about how that shit's even too hardcore for them...do you know how hardcore that is?" At first they laughed at me, but then they started to understand that I wasn't joking around when the toothless 60-year old man at the register who had tattoos on his face looked at them increduously and said "Night Train? Are you sure you want to do that, guys? Wow." For a minute I thought they were going to back out - I mean shrugging off Axl Rose's warning is one thing, but to ignore the tattooed-face check-out guy? That's crazy. But in the end, they put their money on the counter. The checkout guy just kept shaking his head as he bagged them up and as we left the he called out "Good luck!" Hahaha.
I decided to try to instigate and was like "Hey Mike, you should give your new friend a kiss!" Check him all ballsy bringing the "fuck you" finger out right in front of her face (also make sure to note how my hand is all smooshing his neck as I'm actually trying to get him to kiss her). Hahahah.
a loud, drunk asian girls in a straw party hat showed up and helped liven things up! Fuck yeah! When this girl cornered Mike D. on the stairs he was all like "Hey, this is my friend Brian! He should take some pics of us together!" Then Mike D. raised the bar from the "get a load of this guy" face and went straight for the "serruptitious fuck you fingerpiont." Classy!
And um, to think about stealing another filthy stuffed animal, this one tied to a tree - but then thinking better of it and leaving the filthy thing alone.
Speaking of trouble, look who's six drinks on her way to Drunksville? So somewhere around this point Leigh was like "I'm feeling feisty! What kind of trouble can we get into in San Francisco? I know! How about we try to score some hippy weed?" I was like "Uh, neither of us really smoke weed, though. Remember?" She didn't seem phased: "I know. But isn't that what you're supposed to do here."
Me, "So you want to try to buy some weed?"
Tinny: "No, I don't want to buy some weed. I want to see if we can get someone to give us some for free! It'll be like a scavenger hunt!"
We started off by asking around FriscoDisco - but all we managed to find were people who wanted to sell us cocaine. When we got outside, Leigh ran across the street to check out a huge mob of people that were standing outside of some other bar and ask them for free weed. Less than a minute later, she suddenly starts running away from the crowd all fast and re-crossing the street heading towards me. I immediately thought that she'd accidentally asked a cop or something and got freaked out. But it turns out that she...
After Mike was finished up at Casanova (PS - Mike, I have no recollection of where that box of Rice-a-Roni came from. Do you remember?), we piled into Michael's car and headed to a secret destination known only as "The Slides."
After Leigh was done interrogating this girl's friend to make sure he really knew her and this wasn't a rohypnol date rape gone awry, we left our sleeping princess in his good hands.
...clearly the LBJ (that's the Little Baby Jesus to you) had heard our prayers and made this drunk girl pass out on the pavement right outside of the party so we could document my last evening in town with some apropo fanfare! (Thanks for looking out for us, Big Guy).
Neil (who, just so you know, is the current Nugget
Eating Champ of the World) leans in to check out to what degree
the guy is passed out. Verdict: Out Fucking Cold.
Ok, ok. I'm sure all of you have probably seen all these
photos already either on the Misshapes site or back when
it appeared in Vice,
but for any of you who may not have see it, here's the story:
I was texting with Dennis
Crowley's little
brother Jonathan on Saturday night
and I invited him and his buddy Neil to Misshapes. They showed
up late night and after vetoing the too-packed dance floor
upstairs, we decided to hang in the back room downstairs
where we discovered this sleeping prince.
After screaming along incoherently into an extra mic during the first half of this couple's duet, homeboy in the green shirt finally managed to wrangle away Shef's mic and hide it on him. Unfazed, Shef decided to make up for his lack of mic by just singing even louder for the remainder of their song.
The guy was so drunk he couldn't even tell us his name. Sarah thought he was cute and kept suggesting that she take him back to her place. Hahahaha. Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure!
In the end, I ended up fishing his wallet out of his pants and looking up his name and address (if memory serves correctly, I think his name was Brice or something like that). Here's Tinny holding his phone to his ear as we took turns calling people in his phone trying to get someone who knew him to confirm his address so we could put him in a cab. (In the end, we were never able to confirm where he lived so we sat him down outside with a bottle of water and went back inside. When I came out an hour later, he was passed out and had pissed his pants and we ended up calling the cops who sent an ambulance for him. Doh!) Anybody know who this guy is?
Later that evening, I was standing next to the DJ booth chatting with Sarah when all of a sudden a guy standing next to me full-on passed out while standing up and went down like a bag o' bricks. The bouncer summoned me to help him carry the guy outside and somewhere in the process of trying to lift him up, his pants came down exposing...
That little puddle you see isn't puke, it's actually just saliva (ok, maybe a little puke). This kid was putting his whole frigging hand down his throat and nothing was coming up. If he ever decides to give up his career as a binge drinker, there's clearly a place for him in gay porn.
When I went outside to look for Vin, I ran into these two guys (I forget their names, but I have an email from him somewhere that I can dig up and I'll put them in there when I find it). The guy on the right was really drunk and said that he needed to throw up, but couldn't. I suggested he try putting his fingers down his throat and "pull his trigger." He was like "Ok, I'll try it. Get your camera ready." (Like I needed to be told, right?)
Well, um, it's not. Grant managed about 3 spins before he lost his balance and sent Amber careening into the stage. (Which, because I knew was coming, I was able to masterfully capture with my camera).
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