i keep a diary

December, 2005

The December Roundup

Here's the December round up: all the pics from December that don't merit their own individual entry. This entry should really just be called "Ugly Face Month" because right around this time all of the "party photo sites" were becomming popular and it seems like everytime I tried to take a photo of anything, someone would strike a goddamned "glamour pose." So instead, I started telling everyone I took photos of to make their "ugliest face possible," which turned out to be way more funny than making sexy faces.

Friday, December 2nd

On Friday night, Meredith and I went to the midnight showing of the amazing 80s movie Teen Witch at the Sunshine Landmark Theatre. As a total bonus, they had the director (who wrote all the songs in the movie) and Robyn Lively (the girl that played the starring role in the movie!) show up and introduce the movie and do a Q&A with the audience!
movie
andrew b
Then, the director offered a prize to anyone that could come down and rap "Top That!" (one of the hip hop's most epic cinematic moments where a teen-witch uses her powers of enchantment to bestow upon her frumpy, Jew-froed friend the power to RHYME SICK!) in its entirety. Andrew Borin was in the audience and he immediately ran down the stairs and nailed it, solo on the mic.
movie ˆ andrew b
If you've never seen Teen Witch, you owe it to yourself to watch "Top That" RIGHT NOW! ("Look how funky he is!" Hahahah).
Make sure you also check out the hot, locker room jam, "I Like Boys."

Teen Witch was one of my favorite movies when I was growing up and now that I've seen it as adult, I've gotta honestly say I'm pretty surprised that I turned out to be not-gay.
video
sarah
After Teen Witch, Meredith and I went over to Orchard Bar to dance and say hi to Sarah and Karen and I immediately started challenging people to make the "ugliest face possible." Here's Sarah's. Hahahahah. AMAZING!
ugly face ˆ sarah
karen
Here's Karen's.
smoosh ˆ ugly face ˆ karen
karen
Karen's wasn't all that ugly so I had Sarah take a picture of me giving her some help. Hahahah.
best ˆ smoosh ˆ ugly face ˆ karen
meredith
Here's Meredith's. She definitely didn't need any help! Hahaha.
ugly face ˆ meredith
me
Then I started showing off some of the advanced techniques I used to subtely sabotage "glamour shots" (because you can't always make a totally ridiculous, over-the-top face). Here's me demonstrating how, with a little practice, you can learn to cross just one eye a tiny bit and make it look like you have a floater-eye!
ugly face ˆ wonky ˆ me
sarah
Here's Sarah's. And the pupil (no pun intended!) surpasses the teacher.
ugly face ˆ wonky ˆ sarah
Jessica was there and she got in on it!
ugly face
Hahahaha. Yes!
ugly face
jenny penny
Jenny Penny started out a little weak...
ugly face ˆ jenny penny
jenny penny
..but with a little bit of encouragement...
ugly face ˆ jenny penny
jenny penny
...she managed a pretty outstanding ugly face by the end of our "shoot." Hahah.
ugly face ˆ jenny penny
This guy was a friend of Sarah and Karen's and here's the two of them helping him out with his face! Haha.
ugly face
FISH-HOOK!
ugly face
me
After everyone had given it their best, I busted out my showstopper. Just when I thought I was the undisputed champ...
ugly face ˆ me
andrew b
...Andrew Borin shows up to the party and pulls out this masterpiece. First he ends up rocking the entire Landmark Theater with the "Top That" rap and then he wins the ugly face contest? Christ, what can't this kid do? (This was almost as big of an upset as when Josh Teixeira won the "Matt Weiner Ugly Face Contest of 2002").
ugly face ˆ andrew b
me, sarah
Then at the end of the night Sarah paid up for losing the $40 bet we'd made about whether or not she'd ever make out with a certain guy (she said she wouldn't, I had bet that she eventually would).
bet ˆ money ˆ me ˆ sarah

Saturday, December 3rd

meredith
On Saturday morning, Mer and I got our Thai food brunch on and had a Lost DVD marathon.
222 e 3rd ˆ food ˆ thai food ˆ meredith
Check out the size of the iced coffee I got! Jeez!
coffee ˆ tv
amber
Saturday night I ran into Amber and when I asked her "What's the ugliest face you can make?", this was her answer!
ugly face ˆ amber

Monday, December 5th

ellen, josh m, meredith
On Monday night, a whole bunch of us went to that Karaoke place on Bowery to wish...
karaoke ˆ ellen ˆ josh m ˆ meredith
brother lawrence, mandy
...Lawrence a happy karaoke birthday!
karaoke ˆ brother lawrence ˆ mandy
brother lawrence
Here's the birthday boy singing Interpol.
karaoke ˆ brother lawrence
christine, meredith
Christine and Meredith.
karaoke ˆ christine ˆ meredith
me, sarah
Sarah and me.
me ˆ sarah
brother lawrence, sarah
Brother Lawrence and Sister Sarah doing a sibling's rendition of The Killer's Mr. Brightside.
karaoke ˆ brother lawrence ˆ sarah
Lauren doing her amazing version of No Doubt's I'm Just a Girl. Damn, girl can sing!
karaoke
meredith
Meredith singing I'm a Believer by The Monkees.
karaoke ˆ meredith
ellen, jeet, josh m
Gurj, Josh and Ellen.
karaoke ˆ ellen ˆ jeet ˆ josh m
mandy
Mandy adds to the Ugliest Face collection!
ugly face ˆ mandy
brother lawrence, mandy
Happy Karaoke Birthday, Lawrence! (I love this picture of you, BTW!)
karaoke ˆ brother lawrence ˆ mandy

Wednesday, December 7th

leigh
On Wednesday night I hung out with Leigh and she showed off some neat new dress she'd modified by turning the neck-strap into some cool, Motley Crue-looking satanic star. While this is a decidely non-ugly photo, Leigh will make up for that later.
best ˆ pretty ˆ leigh

Thursday, December 8th

amanda, fatty, grant
On Thurday night I went out with Amanda, Grant and Fatty (aka Fiasco)!) to celebrate...
get a load of this guy ˆ amanda ˆ fatty ˆ grant
david k
...David Kreitman's brother visiting town! Check out that resemblance!
doppleganger ˆ twins ˆ david k
grant
Of course, everyone there was happy to show off their ugliest face. Here's Grant's.
ugly face ˆ grant
fatty
The Fatty's.
ugly face ˆ fatty
amanda
Amanda's! Which inspired Grant to...
teeth ˆ ugly face ˆ amanda
grant
...re-do his.
teeth ˆ ugly face ˆ grant
One of Meredith's friends was there visiting and when I asked her to make her ugliest face, she put her entire hand in her mouth. (Which marked the only time someone's "ugly face" gave me a chubby. Hahahah).
hand ˆ wtf
fatty
The ugly face game quickly gave way to the "shake your head back and forth as fast as you can and take a picture of it with the flash on" game. Here's Fatty's rubberface.
shake face ˆ ugly face ˆ fatty
grant
Grant! Hahah. Bonus points for managing to maintain eye-contact with the camera!
shake face ˆ ugly face ˆ grant
amanda
Amanda's shake-face.
shake face ˆ ugly face ˆ amanda
meredith
Meredith's.
shake face ˆ ugly face ˆ meredith
me
Yours truly!
shake face ˆ ugly face ˆ me
david k
David's shake-face doesn't look all that much different from David's normal face.
shake face ˆ ugly face ˆ david k
david k
David's brother did pretty good, though.
shake face ˆ ugly face ˆ david k
fatty, grant
Grant and Fatty pulled off a pretty sweet combo-shake.
shake face ˆ fatty ˆ grant
leigh
Late night I got a text from Leigh and we went and met her for pizza. Here she is showing off the bottle of vodva she'd just stolen from some corporate-sponsored party. Hahaha. Little Elfin Theif!
leigh
sean d
Sean showed off his shake-face.
shake face ˆ sean d
leigh
Leigh's shake face also looks very much like her normal face ("You're not shaking HARD ENOUGH!")
shake face ˆ leigh

Sunday, December 11th

On Sunday afternoon I was relaxing in my living room, reading a book, when all hell broke loose outside! Here's the view from my window - apparently the people who lived in the cute garden house forgot to unplug a space heater or something and their apartment caught on fire. The doors were all heavily bolted and the windows were barred and the firemen weren't able to get inside...
fire ˆ firetruck
...in time to prevent the fire from spreading. Shit got pretty intense before they managed to put it out.
fire ˆ firetruck ˆ nyc
ellen, john f, leigh, meredith
Later Sunday night, me, Meredith, John, Ellen and Leigh all shared a cab to go Smith's night. In order to sneak all five of us into the same cab, Leigh had to lay down on everybody's lap and hide from the driver. Here's the sneaky "Look! Four people in the backseat!" photo I took from the front seat. Hahah.
best ˆ taxi ˆ ellen ˆ john f ˆ leigh ˆ meredith
john f, lauren ashley, me
John, Lauren and I are long-lost siblings.
john f ˆ lauren ashley ˆ me
ellen, john f
Ellen looks like the grinch when she makes her ugly face! Hahah.
ugly face ˆ ellen ˆ john f
leigh, meredith
I was trying to explain to Leigh and Meredith that making your chin disappear into your neck is a pretty surefire way to produce and ugly face.
ugly face ˆ leigh ˆ meredith
leigh, me
No, more like THIS! Hahaha.
ugly face ˆ leigh ˆ me

Wednesday, December 14th

ellen, john f
On Wednesday, Meredith and I went with Ellen and John to...
ellen ˆ john f
Elite's Holiday Party! Because Ellen briefly flirted with...
ellen
...being an Elite model! Look! It's her model card! This is probably only really funny if you've ever met Ellen (because, for better or worse, everyone has some negative stereotypes about what it means to be "a model" and Ellen lives up to none of them).
best ˆ ellen
ellen
Ooooh, la la, it's "ELLEN!"
best ˆ ellen
ellen, john f
Check out Ellen looking all modely talking shop about fashiony stuff!
ellen ˆ john f
At first I was like, "This party BLOWS." Then I was like...
party
"Free Tab? FUCK YEAH!"
wtf
ellen, meredith
Ellen, Mer and one of Ellen's friends from the agency.
ellen ˆ meredith
meredith
Meredith making her model face.
meredith

Friday, December 16th

russ p
On Friday, my work had it's monthly "Friday" party. Here's Russ ooglin' the spread.
cci ˆ food ˆ work ˆ russ p
Shirley and Julie!
cci ˆ work

Tuesday, December 20th

On Tuesday night I went to go see Nightmare of You (at the Knitting Factory?). If you're a fan - their new EP just came out last week and it's FUCKING AWESOME!!! Buy it now on iTunes or you can order the CD on smartpunk.com!
band ˆ nightmare of you
brandon, jeet, sarah
Gurj, Brandon and Sarah.
brandon ˆ jeet ˆ sarah

Thursday, December 22nd

leigh, scott m
On Thursday night I stopped by East Village Radio to say hi to Scott, Leigh and the rest of the MisShapes who were doing their weekly radio show. I saw a very special lady pass by on the street and they ended up having her on the air as a special guest! Ladies and gentleman...
radio ˆ leigh ˆ scott m
asian porno lady, greg k, leigh
...Asian Porno Lady! (If you live in the East Village, you definitely know this woman! She goes into bars late at night with a pullcart filled with packs of smokes and pirated-pornography on DVD! When she comes into a bar she announces "Smokes! Smokes! Cigarettes! Porno! Asiiiiiiiiiian Porno!" (More on her later on in this entry!)
radio ˆ asian porno lady ˆ greg k ˆ leigh

Friday, December 23rd

jeet
On Friday I hung out down in the basement of Orchard Bar with Gurj the coatcheck girl (who puffed on her lil' corncob pipe!).
kiss ˆ orchard bar ˆ jeet
karen
I'm not sure what I said, did and/or showed to Karen to get this kind of reaction...
orchard bar ˆ karen
karen
...but whatever it was, it was certainly shocking (albeit, unmemorable!).
orchard bar ˆ surprise ˆ karen

Tuesday, December 27th

asian porno lady, me
So it's right after Christmas, and I'd just gotten back in town and after getting settled in, I decided to head out late at night and say hi to some friends. I got to the Darkroom around 3am and right after I'd arrived, look who shows up? Asian Porno Lady! I called her over and asked her to show me some of her "racier" titles. As I was going through the stack of various pirated titles, I came across this one, entitled "The Horse Fucker", and knew she'd just found a new customer. Cha-ching!
best ˆ dvd ˆ asian porno lady ˆ me
posh tony
I never realized how much Lauren and Posh Tony look like they could be brother and sister.
posh tony
gina bonjersey, michael
Michael and SmellsGood BonJersey show off my latest purchase. They took it in stride...
dvd ˆ porn ˆ gina bonjersey ˆ michael
sarah
...whereas Sarah pretty much freaked the fuck out when I silently handed her the DVD and got my camera ready to capture (her amazing!) reaction.
dvd ˆ porn ˆ sarah
karen, sarah
Karen was like "What are you freaking out about.... *GASP!*"
dj ˆ dvd ˆ porn ˆ karen ˆ sarah

Wednesday, December 28th

ellen, meredith
On Wednesday night, Grant and Ellen came over to play...
222 e 3rd ˆ dance ˆ videogames ˆ ellen ˆ meredith
ellen, grant, meredith
...Dance Dance Revolution for Xbox (which Grant, Fatty and Amanda had chipped into get me for Xmas).
222 e 3rd ˆ dance ˆ videogames ˆ ellen ˆ grant ˆ meredith
niki, piper
Niki and Piper (who was possessed by Satan) watched from the sidelines.
niki ˆ piper
grant, meredith
Fucking amazing gift.
222 e 3rd ˆ dance ˆ videogames ˆ grant ˆ meredith

Thursday, December 29th

On Thursday, Sarah had another lil' party to showcase her burgeoning culinary skills. If I recall correctly, this was fetticine in a walnut-cream sauce. Outstanding!
apt 3a ˆ food
brandon
Then, after dinner, Brandon and I sat on the couch for some serious BRO-MANCE.
apt 3a ˆ brandon