The next day a bunch of relatives came to our house for Christmas dinner. Clockwise from bottom left: Grandpa, Grandma, Uncle Wayne, mom, Aunt Elaine, Amy and Brett. Meredith and I = TOTALLY CROPPED OUT! Thanks, dad! Haha.
Then it was time to head to the living room and open some presents! (It's a long-standing tradition in my house that we open presents that night before Christmas - it was a tradition born when my parents realized that this was a better alternative than my brother and I waking them up at 5am in order to unwrap our loot!).
On Saturday afternoon, Meredith and I took the train out to my parents house in NJ so that we could spend Christmas with my fam! I brought along the Wii so that the whole family could play (which we ended up doing for hours on end). Here's my mom and brother getting ready to square off in tennis. But before they played, we decided that we all needed to...
And then it was on like Donkey Kong! My mom's real-world tennis skills gave her an early advantage - but after two or three games, Brett's video-tennis skills kicked in and he dominated!
On Saturday night my parents came into town for the day! After walking around and having lunch in our neighborhood, we went back to our apartment so my parents could try out our new Wii! My mom actually played a video game and liked it!
Meredith and my mom showing off their flyswatters. Coastal NJ in the summer is plagued with greenhead flies. They bite during the day and it hurts like HELL.
The next morning, we got up bright and early and drove down to my parent's little shore house in Beach Haven West. After dropping off our bags, we grabbed some towels and headed to the beach on Long Beach Island.
...my mom and dad. My mom kept hiding her face because it was really early in the morning and she didn't have any make up on and she told me that she "didn't want the Internets to see her this way." Hahaha.
We got her Oprah's 20th Anniversary DVD collection (which was actually released on the day of her birthday!). Look how happy my mom is! (And check out my brother's magnificent "Get a load of Oprah") Hahah. Happy Birthday, mom! We love you!
I got home around 2am and my mom was still up! First time ever! (My mom usually starts sleeping on the couch around 9pm and then after a two hour nap, wakes up at 11pm so that she can go to bed proper!). I guess that new "Sexiest Man Alive" issue of People Magazine must've been keepin' her up!
On Thursday night my parents came in to town and I took them out to dinner. I look like my mother almost as much as my dad looks like Peter Griffin (The Family Guy). Hahah.
On Tuesday I met up with my brother, who was temporarily living in NYC for a few months while on a consulting gig, and our parents to go see The Producers on Broadway. It was AWESOME! (Thanks, Mom & Dad!).
On Sunday I took the train down to south Jersey to hang out with my family down at my parent's little shore house in Mannasqaun. Here's my brother and his lady Amy and my parents about to get their lunch on.
After I bid Grant farewell (and after I'd finished admiring his undies) I hopped a train out to New Jersey to my parent's house to wish my dad a happy 58th (Holy crap!) birthday!
My parents recently bought a new house down in Florida that's right on a golf course and since then my dad's pulling out all the stops trying to get my mom more involved in golf.
My dad informed my mom that he'd gotten her something "really good" and excused himself to fetch it from a secret hiding place. Here's my mom waiting with anticipation for what turned out to be...
These are Meredith photos of where I was teaching my mom a game where you take turns pretending you're laughing in an attempt to make the other person laugh for real.
The next mornign we had breakfast with the fam (cinnamon rolls...mmmm) and Grant headed back into town. Meredith decided to stick around a little longer and we...
I got up to help him out and was told that he didn't need any help "figuring out his own camera, Goddamnit!" So I took some photos of everyone waiting. Hahah.
We got to my parents house in NJ and found my brother all excited after months of (f)unemployment to finally be able to show proof of gainful employment by busting out one of his brand new business cards that announce him as a consultant for Ascenture. (Check out how happy my Mom is! No more hand outs! No more hand outs!) If you've been reading my site for a while, you know that anytime I'm visiting my family in New Jersey for a holiday, there's always one thing that needs to be done...
With T-Minus four days until my big move to SF, I headed out to Clark, NJ to have dinner at my Grandparents and say goodbye. Here's me and my mom with G-ma and G-pa.
Later that night, we had a dinner on my parents porch and my mom brough out a birthday cake for me. She forgot to get birthday candles, so instead she substituted this 18" decorative candle that she found unused in a candlestick on the kitchen table. Hahaha.
On Monday (the day after my birthday) I went down to meet up with my parents and their little shorehouse near Long Beach Island in southern NJ. Here's my mom, brother, dad and Uncle Bruce chilling on the beach at LBI.
And who's this handsome disco couple? (Seriously, you haven't lived until you've seen my dad do his disco hand shuffle on the dance floor. It's what happiness is made of).
For Mother's Day I hopped the Linden EnJay Transit train to meet up with my parents at G-ma and G-pa's house. Happy Mother's Day! (PS - Sarah was so right on the money when she pointed out that my dad looks like Peter Griffin from the Family guy).
After we were done clowning around, I got on the horn and started making arrangements to sell everything we'd just found to a "vintage boutique" in Williamsburg for $200,000.
For Christmas day, my grandparents and one of my mom's sister's family (The Carricks) came to our house. Christmas dinner in the house y'all. When I say "Hey," you say "Ho!" Now when I say "Je" you say "sus!"
After her little nap on the way home, mom was rested enough to dig up her scary Grand Wizard of the Klu Klux Klan Santa (which you may remember caused a stir last year) and returned him to his wrongful place at the top of our tree.
...which means BLAMO!, she's instantly asleep ten minutes later on the ride back north. My mom will get drunk from only a sniff of the barmaid's apron. Hahaha.
...and packed in the car to go to south Jersey for our annual Christmas Eve with my great uncle and aunt Walt and Ann (You know the drill by now, we do it every year (. Here's the backseat crizzew: me, mom and Brett's girlfriend Amy.
Thursday afternoon, I hopped in the car with my parents (minus little brother Brett, who lives out in Indiana and went to his girlfriend's parent's house in Ohio for Thanksgiving) and headed to my Aunt Elaine and Uncle Wayne's house in Clark, NJ.
On the day before my birthday, my mom and dad came into New York City (from Jersey) and took Grant, Tara and myself out for a birthday dinner at Epicurie in the LES.
I had to catch an early flight back to NYC on Sunday morning...it was Mother's Day - so I met up with my Mom and Gram (so I could wish them a Happy Mother's Day) and the rest of the fam before hopping a shuttle back to the airport.
Check out my mom rocking the toboggan in her aqua snowsuit with hot magenta boots! (She looks like one of the female supervillans from a James Bond flick circa '84).
Later on Christmas night, my mom and I went down the street to meet up with Rachael (my high school sweetheart, aw...) and her little (not-so-little anymore) sister Casey for some serious sleighriding action.
On Christmas Day it was snowing like crazy! We piled in the car and risked life and limb (literally!) to drive 45 minutes to Clark, NJ to eat Xmas dinner with my Grandparents and one of my mom's sisters and her family.
Mom and her new putter. Look out Tiger, Mrs. Battjer's on tha up and up. (Oh, and look at the tree in the background, White Power Santa's back! But only because the lightbulb inside the light-up lawn gnome we put on the tree started to melt the plastic needles of our fake tree and it smelled like burning. A likely story Mom...or shoud I call you EVA?)
So it's like two days before Christmas and we're all sitting in the living room catching up and I look up on top of our Christmas tree and I'm like "Um Mom, why is there a Klansman on top of our tree?" She's like, "It's not a Klansman, it's a "White Santa." This was followed by a silence as we all eyed my mom suspiciously wondering what else her evil KKKristmas would have in store for us...
After visiting with Ann and Walt - we hopped in the car and headed north for the Battjer's Annual Trip to Church™ (Christmas Eve services at midnight, baby).
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