tagged together in 41 photos

best + wtf

!best×!wtf×

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appears with…

best + wtf — After we had finished soaking the sponges attached to the electrodes with salt-water, we secured them to their proper spot on Grant's skull with a headband. Because hey, if you're going to get your brain fried, you may as well go out looking fabulous when it happens! But seriously...

best + wtf — Speaking of fringe science, I spent a better part of the rest of the evening trying to use my mind to spin this tiny paper umbrella underneath a wind shield.

best + wtf — While walking through the park, Maddy got her head stuck in this box while trying to catch a squirrel!

best + wtf — Back in Whistler later that evening, Grant and I were eating dinner outside when we watched a stumbly drunk dude briefly slow down and and artfully pee his name in excellent cursive before lurching onward. Nicely done, Brett!

best + wtf — Not used to see hardcore predation on a Monday afternoon! Look at his bloody beak! He was tearing off pieces...

best + wtf — Busy day! Went back to the hotel for a nap.THIS, by the way, is the hilarious / terrifying entrance to my hotel:
Hotel upstairs, MEATSHOP downstairs!.

Sure, you're welcome to stay here. As long as you can overcome your fear of the obvious horror-movie danger of us murdering you in your sleep and SELLING YOU AS FOOD in conveniently-located meatshop downstairs. Haven't you seen the movie, Hostel, you idiot?

best + wtf — So amazing / horrifying! (Dear non-vegetarians, I hope you remember this photo next time you tuck into a delicious crab and/or lobster! Ew! Ew! Sea bugs!)

best + wtf — ...Rubano's masterful sound-dampening technique. Nice.

best + wtf — Gurj and I peeped ourselves some new roadside headgear while we were gassing up.

best + wtf — ...Marco Monkeybody!

best + wtf — Kneeling into your boots is never not-funny. Hey, it's Timmy Tinylegs...

best + wtf — This is a picture of the birthday cake that Pauline (Grant's mom!) was given by her friends. She owns a salon and offeres bikini waxes (along with many other services) but her friends decided to make her a birthday cake about waxing! Hahaha. UNBELIEVABLE!

best + wtf — Grandma brought us a each a bottle of Hot Sex liquor as a gag gift. (It is seriously pretty tasty though) Haha.

best + wtf — A little after 1pm, it was time for our taping and we were hustled out onto the set! Here we go!

best + wtf — They also require men and women to wear uniforms while at the spa! The women's uniforms are orange and pink.

best + wtf — We started off in the BLANKET ROOM. Which, much like its name implied, turned out to be an entire room filed with Native American BLANKETS.

best + wtf — Things remained mostly anonymous. Haha.

best + wtf — This photo is so creeptastic.

best + wtf — If the music hadn't been so loud, everyone would've heard me screaming "NOOOOOOOOOOO! WHYYYYYYYYYYY?" Hahah.

best + wtf — Oh, and she was also really into HUNTING FUCKING BEARS ON ATVs! HAHAHA. Holy fucking shit, I wish you could've seen Ellen's face when she first saw this photo and tried to wrap her mind around the fact that it's high-school Danielle proudly standing in front of a dead bear laying across the ATV she used to go hunting. WHAT?

best + wtf — Danielle is Ellen and Kaitie's other roommate! She lives downstairs from them in the semi-separate basement apartment and is REALLY REALLY into tanning products. Seriously. This entire shelf is dedicated to really expensive creams that you're supposed to rub on your body to enhance the tan that you get while laying in a TANNING BED. WTF?

best + wtf — ...my dad took us next door to see Bruce's condo. He'd already done a bunch of work to "Brucify" the place. Check out the MEGACOUCH he put in the living room. It's the only couch I've seen where sitting isn't an option. You can ONLY lay on the thing. It's basically like having a leather bed in your living room.

best + wtf — OMG. Back in the day, Leigh used to be out late every single weeknight in the Lower East Side - so much so that she became friends with some of the garbage men that had that route and they used to give her and her roommate Jessica rides home to make sure they got home safely. Haha. We got out of Lawrence's party and when a garbage truck passed us, Leigh hailed it like a taxi AND THE GUY STOPPED. Hahaha. Let's hear it for free rides!

best + wtf — My co-worker Ian and I were walking into the building when were alarmed by the unique stenciling on the office building's doors. Things are a little, uh, different in the south. Every time I look at Ian's eyes, I laugh. Hahaha.

best + wtf — ...and then you celebrate while someone tries to run through it?

best + wtf — Wait, HUH??? What kind of hillbilly, bait and switch, invite you to play paintball and then rape you in the woods with a hose (apparently) kind of shit is this?

best + wtf — Here's a picture of Gurj eating indoor-grilled chicken in sunglasses and a candy-bra. NBD.

best + wtf — On Saturday morning, I was (obviously) feeling a little lazy and elected to skip the whole "getting dressed" nonsense and go directly to reading cool articles on the interweb. I guess I lost track of time and was sitting there long enough for Meredith to grab my camera and take this totally sneaky photo of unaware-me browsin' in the buff. After years of posting all sorts of compromising and embarrassing photos of friends and strangers alike, I figured it's only fair to post horribly embarrassing pics of me as well!

best + wtf — On Monday, I hooked up the TV and stoked to see that our previous tenant had forgotten to cancel cable! FUCKING SCORE! I was, however, quite shocked to see the new HBO On Demand line up for November. Designa Vagina? Pumping His Grundle? Holy shit, right?

Kids growing up today must have it so easy - they can just turn on the interweb or HBO On Demand and pretty much see EVERYTHING. Back when I was little, if I wanted to see some some titties I had to wait until the end of the month and then go down to the Cumberland Farms (which is the north Jersey equivalent of 7-11) every day and sneak around back and go dumpster diving - hoping we'd hit the jackpot and arrive on the day that they threw out all the n00dy mags from the previous month! (We used to sell all the extras to kids in Middle School - $5 a mag!).

It was either that or wait until everyone went to bed and stay up for hours watching the Spice Channel hoping that the "scramble" would clear up long enough to see a tit! Hahaha.

best + wtf — The funniest part of the night is when I sat down to look something up on Fatty's computer and when I typed in the letters "G" and "I," Fatty's Google history totally sold him out and revealed one of his previous Google searches: "gifts for guys that like guitars with babies" that was clearly from when he used Google to try to figure out what to get his little brother for the holidays. This is fucking priceless and I still laugh every time I see it.

best + wtf — Grant was so distracted, that he eventually just ended up inviting the guy up on stage. Things got even weirder when he produced a Minnie Mouse hand puppet from out of thin air.

best + wtf — On Tuesday I was walking down the street and saw this license plate...

best + wtf — As we were nearing the Bay Area, there were all of these crazy-colored bodies of water. I'm hoping it's not pollution, but whatever was causing it, it sure was pretty!

best + wtf — ...or the fact that he was accompanied to the park by an actual woman. Seen here hiding her face. Which I'm sure is only because of the sun. (What, you mean you'd be embarrassed to have a parrot on your ass?)

best + wtf — On Friday afternoon I hopped on the Eastside uptown bus near the United Nations to visit a certain someone at their new job at Playgirl Magazine. Can you guess who it was by looking at their desk? Let's see....Golden Girls DVD Box Set, Silly Hat and "Red Boy" Brand ginormous DILDO! Hmmm....If you guessed...

best + wtf — ...Grant Stoddard, you are correct, sir! Back in May Grant briefly worked (as a Staff Writer? Editor?) at Playgirl Magazine. A few weeks after starting, his book sold and he promptly left.

best + wtf — Before any of the assfucking could get underway, some crazy girl (who was spotted smoking crack earlier in the night) started causing all sorts of problems and tried to get into a fistfight with a fat, gay dude. Jake tried to get her to calm down and she FREAKED THE FUCK OUT ON HIM. Literally, she went out of her mind. After three or four scary minutes, Jake finally managed to get her and her friends to leave the party. But as he was closing the door on them downstairs, she snatched his glasses off his face and ran out into the street. Jake followed her and when he tried to grab his glasses back from her, she bit his hand, grabbed the glasses back, broke them in half, threw them into the street and then ran away laughing.

best + wtf — ...Chicago's legendary Mr. Whitefolks, who is arguably the world's only famous white pimp best known for his extensive speech on the importance of "beating the shit outta your hos to keep them in line" in HBO's Pimps Up Hos Down documentary. When I showed up, he was actually in the process of trying to convince Leigh and Meredith and that they should "be his bitches." He later informed me that this process is known as "turning bitches out." (Check out both of Leigh and Meredith's absolutely priceless expressions. Hahahah.).

best + wtf — ...NAKED MAN! Hahahaha. This old dude is always chilling there in a lil' Speedo-type thang and from certain angles (ok, most angles) it looks like he's buck naked.

best + wtf — Ever notice how the Greeks have been kind of quiet on the world scene since inventing modern thought and baklava? Well it turns out that they've been teaching killer fish circus tricks. Unfortunately, the bizarre aquatic piranha circus wasn't happening until after we left. Boo!

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original not copied to this machine yet

And with the spankings out of the way it was time for birthday cake woooo!

sarah's lingerie karaoke birthday party

August 06, 2003