i keep a diary

a person in 377 photos in 2003

fatty

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Live Show gets the thumbsdown! Here's us in the parking lot trying to assess the financial damage. Our four Russian "strippers" managed to fleece the four of us for a grand total of €120 in less than 20 minutes! And we still didn't manage to see any heines! We hopped in the car to drive the remaing 1/4 mile back to our resort, and in the moment of silence after we were finished laughing hysterically at what had just happened we all heard Grant say quietly to himself: "Hmmmmm. A hundred Euros, eh?" Hahahahaha.
european vacation part 7: first day in crete!.
October 24, 2003
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On the way back to the car a little after 3am, we found another sidewalk snack shop and decided to get something to eat. We all ended up ordering the Cretan equivalent of (my favorite bo-bo NYC food) the infamous Rosario's "Frankie and Cheese." (special shout out to the Crowley brothers, Dens & J Crowley, who have both frequently use their web pages to expound upon the most excellent deliciousness of this culinary wonder of the Lower East Side)
european vacation part 7: first day in crete!.
October 24, 2003
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... and of course, David "The Fatty" Fateman!
european vacation part 7: first day in crete!.
October 24, 2003
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Here we are, four dudes surrounded by nothing but totally hot women from a Greek island who want to have NOTHING TO DO WITH US. Liberia's got nothing on us, THIS is hell on earth.
european vacation part 7: first day in crete!.
October 24, 2003
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Here's our car for the week! A Peugeot 307 hatchback. Check out Fatty enjoying the warm Cretan breeze on his face (which was such a nice change after having been in London freezing our asses off not 10 hours ago).
european vacation part 7: first day in crete!.
October 24, 2003
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Being that all the road signs were in Greek, we elected Chris to drive. We packed up the car, busted out the map, and started the 80 kilometer drive from Heraklion to Rethymnon.
european vacation part 7: first day in crete!.
October 24, 2003
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"Parliament!"
european vacation part 6: sightseeing with the stoddards .
October 23, 2003
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...and then got the hell off that windy-ass bridge.
european vacation part 6: sightseeing with the stoddards .
October 23, 2003
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We hurriedly snapped a few more pics (Here's me wearing Westminster Abbey as a hat)...
european vacation part 6: sightseeing with the stoddards .
October 23, 2003
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...the center emergency row! Let's hear it for extra leg room. Awww, yeah.
european vacation part 6: sightseeing with the stoddards .
October 23, 2003
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...and grabbed the train to Heathrow to catch our 10:20pm flight and kick off the next leg of the trip: Crete!
european vacation part 6: sightseeing with the stoddards .
October 23, 2003
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...packed up our stuff...
european vacation part 6: sightseeing with the stoddards .
October 23, 2003
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Clark: "Look kids! Big Ben!"
european vacation part 6: sightseeing with the stoddards .
October 23, 2003
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After our beers, we walked over into Chinatown to get lunch.
european vacation part 6: sightseeing with the stoddards .
October 23, 2003
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We chatted up the totally cute Greek girls working the Olympus Airlines ticketing counter and they hooked the four of us up with...
european vacation part 6: sightseeing with the stoddards .
October 23, 2003
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After that, we hopped back onto the tube, headed back to Charlene's flat...
european vacation part 6: sightseeing with the stoddards .
October 23, 2003
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Hi, we're tourists.
european vacation part 6: sightseeing with the stoddards .
October 23, 2003
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Grammy Pammy, Fatty and Chris.
european vacation part 6: sightseeing with the stoddards .
October 23, 2003
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Then it was back to more sightseeing. Clark: "Look kids! Big Ben!"
european vacation part 6: sightseeing with the stoddards .
October 23, 2003
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After Grant's family took off, we popped into a cafe for a quick cup of coffee...
european vacation part 6: sightseeing with the stoddards .
October 23, 2003
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London being London, it started raining just a few minutes after we got off the tube. We looked around for umbrellas and these were the only ones we could find. "Haaaaaaaaaaaay!"
european vacation part 5: reunited with grant.
October 22, 2003
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Fatty grabbed this pic of us too busy eating to look up. (Oh, and Charlene was with us too but for some reason she's hiding in all these pics!).
european vacation part 5: reunited with grant.
October 22, 2003
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Reunited! Grant had been in LA working on a TV show and we hadn't seen him in about a month. He arrived in London in the morning and woke our asses up. We showered, got dressed, and headed around the corner to a "builder's diner" right around the corner from her flat and we all ordered...
european vacation part 5: reunited with grant.
October 22, 2003
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I'm guessing this had to be a Van Halen song? (Check out Fatty pretending to play his guitar around Grant like he's in a Poison video. Hahaha.).
european vacation part 5: reunited with grant.
October 22, 2003
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Yes, Hallelujah! It's raining men!
european vacation part 5: reunited with grant.
October 22, 2003
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Charlene doing her impression of the guy who let us in.
european vacation part 5: reunited with grant.
October 22, 2003
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Group shot.
european vacation part 5: reunited with grant.
October 22, 2003
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Here's Fatty singing "It's Raining Men."
european vacation part 5: reunited with grant.
October 22, 2003
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After dinner, we stayed in Soho and upon Charlene's suggestion, decided to see if we could talk our way into the Kingly Club (which is this private, uber-exclusive, membership-only club that had only opened a few days ago). The rest of the group hung back and Charlene and I headed for the door to attempt to crash the club.
european vacation part 5: reunited with grant.
October 22, 2003
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So in the course of shooting the shit with Tony Chambers, it came up that we had wanted to sing karaoke that night but that the only place that we knew of had already closed. Tony leaned in close and in a conspirital tone told us about a private, karaoke speakeasy he knew of that operated afterhours on the second floor of a tiny, nearby sushi bar. After promising we'd keep it secret, he disclosed to us the location. (Looking back, he was probably just totally psyched to have our loud, American, clearly NOT VIP-asses out of his little private, members only backroom!)
european vacation part 5: reunited with grant.
October 22, 2003
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After a nap and some tea, we all met up later that night for pre-dinner drinks at a bar called The Social. L to R: Grant, Danni, Chris, Kate (I think), Layla, Fatty, Charlene and Grant Morris.
european vacation part 5: reunited with grant.
October 22, 2003
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At this point not only were we ridiculously over tired, we were drunk taboot. We pleaded for Charlene to take us home and put us to bed.
european vacation part 4: london & ac/dc
October 21, 2003
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GRANT! It was one thing for Lil' Buddy to miss out on Iceland, but a free, surprise concert of his favorite live band? That was just too much.
european vacation part 4: london & ac/dc
October 21, 2003
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Before heading to the concert, we decided to break out the bottle of Brennivin we'd given Charlene and give it a try. Not heeding the advice of the woman who sold us the bottle who told us to "make sure we drank it out from the freezer."
european vacation part 4: london & ac/dc
October 21, 2003
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Why yes, there is: The Fatty with a group of German ACDC fans. These guys were fucking hardcore. They got wind of the surprise show in Munich that morning and flew over on a whim.
european vacation part 4: london & ac/dc
October 21, 2003
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Fatty and Chris waiting for the tube.Me and Charlene. We hopped the tube from Charlene's place (the Caledonian Road stop)...
european vacation part 4: london & ac/dc
October 21, 2003
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Hans, me and Fatty. Hahahaha. Soooooo good.
european vacation part 4: london & ac/dc
October 21, 2003
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Fatty gives Charlene and "Oh my god you're the fucking best" smooch.
european vacation part 4: london & ac/dc
October 21, 2003
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Charlene called her friend Layla (who works for the company that promotes Carling Beer)...
european vacation part 4: london & ac/dc
October 21, 2003
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On the train we voted against bringing our luggage to the concert for fear that there'd be no place to put it (As much as we wanted to catch the ACDC concert in it's entirety, the thought all of our luggage getting lost in the fray was too much of a risk, even for us). So we hopped a quick cab back to Charlene's flat (that's fancy British talk for "apartment") to drop off our bags.
european vacation part 4: london & ac/dc
October 21, 2003
fatty
Fatty, Charlene, Layla's boyfriend, Me, Layla, and ______.
european vacation part 4: london & ac/dc
October 21, 2003
fatty
7:54pm: We arrived at Heathrow totally cracked out. We were so tired that we decided that we were going to tell Charlene that we were up for maybe grabbing one drink but then after that we needed to get some sleep. (Time Elapsed With Only 15 minutes of Sleep: 28h 24m)
european vacation part 4: london & ac/dc
October 21, 2003
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Oh, and it was really windy.
european vacation part 3: the blue lagoon
October 21, 2003
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Here's the entrance to the spa. The spa is this huge, brand new building that surrounds the 16,000 sqaure foot swimming lagoon.
european vacation part 3: the blue lagoon
October 21, 2003
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10:45am: When we had driven into Reykjavik earlier that morning the darkness had hidden the alieness of the Icelandic countryside. In the daylight, it was absolutely breathtaking. Rocky fields made up of lava rock covered in electric green moss stretched in all directions. We were so blown away that we eventually decided to pull over and take some pictures. (Time Elapsed With No Sleep: 20h 15m).
european vacation part 3: the blue lagoon
October 21, 2003
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The lagoon from three quarters of the way up.
european vacation part 3: the blue lagoon
October 21, 2003
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Chris and The Fatty.
european vacation part 3: the blue lagoon
October 21, 2003
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Fatty and Chris walking back down to our car.
european vacation part 3: the blue lagoon
October 21, 2003
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The swim also made us totally stupid tired. (No sleep + Warm Dehydrating Bath = Almost Inability to Speak). But we rallied yet again to go outside and climb the big hill that over looks the spa complex.
european vacation part 3: the blue lagoon
October 21, 2003
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Look at our cold, red, saltwater-irritated faces. Ouchie.
european vacation part 3: the blue lagoon
October 21, 2003
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After the museum, Smari remembered that he'd only put a few minutes of time in the meter back at the Tjorn, because he'd only been planning on being there for a few minutes. So we all headed back to the Tjorn.
european vacation part 2: reykjavik, iceland.
October 21, 2003
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The Fatty.
european vacation part 2: reykjavik, iceland.
October 21, 2003
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Here's me taking a picture of Fatty taking a picture of one of the smaller, detailed sculptures.
european vacation part 2: reykjavik, iceland.
October 21, 2003
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Then Smari took us to the Hallgrimskirkja church, the tallest building in the city.
european vacation part 2: reykjavik, iceland.
October 21, 2003
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I should also at this point tell you all that we carried Fatty's rad little MiniDV video camera with us throughout the entire trip and we ended up shooting just over 14 hours of tape (which I'm in the process of editing into a full-length video diary). Over the next few months I'll be posting some of the choice clips from it. Woo.
european vacation part 2: reykjavik, iceland.
October 21, 2003
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8:02am (yep, still dark). We made it to downtown Reykjavik (the world's northernmost capital) and parked our teeny-tiny Eurocar in a public lot near the Tjörn, which is a big, man-made lake in the center of the oldest part of town.

We didn't manage to get a picture of him, but on the walk over to the Tjörn, this thirty-something year-old guy, who had what looked like a giant lobotomy scar running horizontally across his forehead, ran up to us and said "Where are you from?" in perfect English. "New York City," we told him. "Oh, yeah? What do you do?" Me: "I work at a software company." He then leaned in really close towards my face and asked, "A SOFTware company, or a softWARE company?" Then cackled maniacally and ran away.
european vacation part 2: reykjavik, iceland.
October 21, 2003
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...and then the realization that we were actually IN ICELAND hit us. Iceland! Oh, snap.
european vacation part 2: reykjavik, iceland.
October 21, 2003
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Miraculously, he managed to avoid getting a ticket (but he did accidentally lock himself out of the car...Doh!). We thanked him for the tour (it's still one of the nicest things a stranger has ever done for me - so Smari, if you read this, thanks again!) and then told him that we were thinking about checking out the Blue Lagoon on the way back to catch our flight but that the lady at the rental car place had seemed underwhelmed when we asked her about it. Smari told us "Fuck that lady. If there's only one thing you could see in Iceland, it should be the Blue Lagoon. Don't miss it. Go there now." That settled it. We bid Smari farewell, and headed for Grindavik.
european vacation part 2: reykjavik, iceland.
October 21, 2003
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We were starting to feel a little tired on the plane, but we totally rallied and got a second wind the minute we stepped off the plane (must've been that reindeer meat finally kicking in).
european vacation part 2: reykjavik, iceland.
October 21, 2003
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After we got our money all squared away, we headed over to Hertz and rented a car. We told the woman at the counter that we only had a few hours and we asked her if, besides Reykjavik, there was anything that we should be sure not to miss in the short time we had. She was like "Eh, not really." So we were like, "What about that Blue Lagoon place? We saw video about it on the plane and it looked amazing! Is that worth checking out?" Once again we were met with a tepid "Eh, it's ok" and a shrug. (We wrote off her lethargy as an effect of the less than four hours of sunshine Iceland receives during its winter days).
european vacation part 2: reykjavik, iceland.
October 21, 2003
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7:25am: Lost. We were right on target until the highway we were on turned into this crazy-ass rotary that shot us off in the wrong direction. We stopped at a gas station for directions, but nobody there spoke enough English to be helpful - so we hunkered down with the map and tried to figure it out. (Check out Fatty's priceless "We're lost" expression).
european vacation part 2: reykjavik, iceland.
October 21, 2003
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6:40am (local time and still pitch black out). We spent the hour-long drive into Reykjavik betting on what time the sun would rise. Price Is Right rules in effect: the one who managed to come closest, without going over would be declared the winner. It was then agreed upon that the winner would get to make out with Gemma, Grant's hot little sister, (mmmmmm....Gemma) when we stopped at Grant's parent's house in Essex on the last leg of our trip. But then we all remembered that Gemma had a boyfriend. (Booooo).
european vacation part 2: reykjavik, iceland.
October 21, 2003
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We spent our cab ride discussing tricks and traps we could employ to scare the crap out of Grant and capture it on tape.
european vacation part 1: leaving nyc
October 20, 2003
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I arrived at the Fatty's around 2:30ish to find him doing some last minute packing. (We had both gotten up that morning around 10am - Time Elapsed With No Sleep: 4h 30m).
european vacation part 1: leaving nyc
October 20, 2003
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Fatty. Ahhh, much better!
european vacation part 1: leaving nyc
October 20, 2003
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9:29pm: Night portraits....somewhere over the Atlantic.
european vacation part 1: leaving nyc
October 20, 2003
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Fatty's big plan was to pop a few Tylenol PM and sleep for the entire flight. But for some reason, he didn't stay asleep. He managed to get, oh, about 25 minutes of sleep before he was awaken by the stewardess who wanted to know what we wanted for dinner.
european vacation part 1: leaving nyc
October 20, 2003
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And Fatty, not having a new camera, played around with his phone cam.
european vacation part 1: leaving nyc
October 20, 2003
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Boarding.
european vacation part 1: leaving nyc
October 20, 2003
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...taking a picture of him. Hi, we're dorks.
european vacation part 1: leaving nyc
October 20, 2003
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Before getting in the cab, we neurotically checked to make sure we had our passports with us for the 11th time. You know, just in case one of us had somehow managed to loose it on the 25ft trek from Fatty's apartment to the street.
european vacation part 1: leaving nyc
October 20, 2003
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We headed to the McDonalds around the corner from his house to say goodbye to America properly. Aw yeah, Big Mac.
european vacation part 1: leaving nyc
October 20, 2003
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4:13pm: Outside of Fatty's apartment, bags all packed and double-checked we coldlamped for one last photo before hailing a cab.
european vacation part 1: leaving nyc
October 20, 2003
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We spent the next half an hour going through all of our checklists and making sure that we had everything we needed.
european vacation part 1: leaving nyc
October 20, 2003
fatty
The Fatty singing into his beer.
the day before vacation
October 16, 2003
fatty
Fatty and Susan.
the day before vacation
October 16, 2003
fatty
"Thank you and goodnight, New York City. We'll be back in just a few weeks."
the day before vacation
October 16, 2003
fatty
...Fatty stepped up and was like "No, wait. Let me show you how that move's really done."
the day before vacation
October 16, 2003
fatty
We met these two as we were leaving. They were in town from England and when they heard that we were getting ready to take a trip there, they became our new best friends. The guy in the scarf was so drunk that we're actually holding him up in this pic.
the day before vacation
October 16, 2003
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On the way out Counter gave Fatty a goodbye hug and assured him he'd keep watch over his Jdate harem.We met these two as we were leaving. They were in town from England and when they heard that we were getting ready to take a trip there, they became our new best friends. The guy in the scarf was so drunk that we're actually holding him up in this pic.
the day before vacation
October 16, 2003
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After Fatty was finished informing his harem of cyber-Jewesses that he was going to be out of town for a coupla weeks, we headed over to Pianos where we ran into my friend Susan.
the day before vacation
October 16, 2003
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Which quickly led to doing stupid stuff with Fatty's Jack-o-Lanterns that he had carved the day before.
the day before vacation
October 16, 2003
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Here's Fatty later on that night at my place checking his JDate email one last time. Because Fatty's like one of three Jewish guys on the site that's taller than six foot and has all his hair, the kid gets more emails than he knows what to do with.
the day before vacation
October 16, 2003
fatty
Hahaha.
the day before vacation
October 16, 2003
fatty
Hahaha. Holy busted photo.
the day before vacation
October 16, 2003
fatty
For whatever reason, I only took one photo all day on Saturday; of Fatty and I going sunglasses shopping after our brunch. Dig my new look?
the october roundup
October, 2003
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Then the guests started showing up! Here's The Fatty and Zara.
tara's 21st birthday and goodbye party
September 30, 2003
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Colin (Big Daddy) and Dave (The Fatty).
tara's 21st birthday and goodbye party
September 30, 2003
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The Fatty and Sarah.
tara's 21st birthday and goodbye party
September 30, 2003
fatty
It started off with a phone call - I was awoken Saturday morning by Grant who put out the word to the Fatty and me: Saturday brunch was to be held downtown...waaaaaaay downtown. That's right y'all...
visiting sammy out in hoboken
September 27, 2003
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Oh, and somewhere along the way we decided that our 1/2 pound burgers and plates of fries just wouldn't be complete unless we each ordered a bowl of chili too.
visiting sammy out in hoboken
September 27, 2003
fatty
A few minutes later, Colin realized he'd missed one of his quarter-hourly sunblock applications and we had to evacuate the beach before he spontaneously combusted. Um, either that or it was just getting late - I forget which.
two beach days at fort tilden
September 07, 2003
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Fatty about to take a swim.
two beach days at fort tilden
September 07, 2003
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Grant, Fatty, Colin (Big Daddy) and me.
two beach days at fort tilden
September 07, 2003
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Ummm...and then later that night we all went to a party at Sarah's new apartment. Grant and I took a whole bunch of funny pictures on Sarah's camera but she never sent them to me and this is the only pic I took on my camera. So, the end!

Addendum! January 3, 2004
So I finally got around to getting some of Sarah's photos from that same night. Here are some of the pics from her cam!
central park, the candy shop and sarah d's party
September 06, 2003
fatty
And here's Fatty waving his arm so fast that it's actually blurring with speed. Talk about action, that's more like it.
the september roundup part two
September, 2003
fatty
Later on, we got a call from the Fatty who wanted to know what we were up to. "Taking stupid pictures of us kicking stuff in Chinatown," we told him. Without a pause Fatty was like "Awesome, I'll be there in ten." True to his word, Fatty was on the scene in less than ten minutes. (Courtesy of his bike and shiny, silver helmet).
the september roundup part two
September, 2003
fatty
Fatty posing with the nice ladies who tried to kill us. (Death by consumption).
the september roundup part one
September, 2003
fatty
And so this is how our simple journey for a little KFC turned into an bacchanalia of gluttony. Fatty gets to work on his umpteenth piece.
the september roundup part one
September, 2003
fatty
Sometimes those late night food tv commercials can straight fuck your night up. Grant and I were at my house watching tv, trying to figure out what to get for dinner, and all of a sudden this KFC commercial comes on. We both started drooling and were like, "Let's get that (points to TV)." The nearest KFC is up on 14th and 1st (about 20 blocks from my place) so on the walk up, we called the Fatty and he joined us. We got to that KFC only to find it closed early for construction. We remember that there was another KFC on 14th near 6th Ave. Craving chicken, we braved on. As we went up to order, the lady told us, "We're closing - but if you want, I'll give you two buckets of chicken, biscuits and three sodas for ten bucks." SOLD! Cha-ching!
the september roundup part one
September, 2003