If you've read any of those previous Thanksgiving entries (linked up there above), you'll know that the first thing that I do whenever I go home for Thanksgiving is go to a bar called "The Barn" that's become the de facto place for impromptu Roxbury High School reunions! (By the way, when did Mystery the pick-up artist start frequenting the place?)
The show started out normal enough, but then halfway through the set, this wannabe Lenny Kravitz pushed his way up to the stage and started giving Grant funny looks.
Grant was so distracted, that he eventually just ended up inviting the guy up on stage. Things got even weirder when he produced a Minnie Mouse hand puppet from out of thin air.
...but that all ended when I looked a few stalls over and saw this dude using a compound bow to shoot human-shaped mannequins in the head with arrows from a distance of 75 ft. (Human mannequins! In the head! Who the hell practices headshots with a bow???)
I was upstairs and I spotted a David lookalike (why he was dressed up as a character from Star Trek, I'm not sure). Anyway, we asked him to kiss Leigh and then I sent this picture to Kim (David's GF who had gone back to the UK a few days ahead of David) and was like "David's totally out of control! He came to Misshapes dressed up as a guy from Star Trek and was trying to make out with all the girls there!" Hahaha. She almost believed me.
While we were all standing outside playing with Piper, I noticed that there was a really, really drunk girl sitting up against the building and teetering back and forth. Sensing something magical was about to happen, I made sure to keep my finger on the shutter button. Sure enough, a few minutes later....wait for it....wait for it....
...BAAAAAAAAARF! I managed to catch the impact but was a few seconds too late to catch the actual vom-stream coming out of her mouth. (I guess I'm slipping!).
Huh. I don't know what which surprises me most: The fact that he brought his parrot to the park (complete with a little travel parrot-perch!), the fact that he decided to strip down to his undies and play with his parrot...
...or the fact that he was accompanied to the park by an actual woman. Seen here hiding her face. Which I'm sure is only because of the sun. (What, you mean you'd be embarrassed to have a parrot on your ass?)
...until he'd almost fall out of his seat, than he'd sit bolt upright and the whole process would start all over again. It was really crazy to watch! I can't imagine having that as a medical condition. It was funny to watch everyone on the subway try to pretend they weren't totally staring.
...and we went to Orchard Bar for Sarah and Karen's party. We got there late and the dance floor was practically empty...save for this dude who was tearing it up in his flip flops! Hahah.
On Sunday afternoon I took the train out to Jersey to hang out with my parents. Here's a picture of the (super-hot stripper-looking) girl that passed out on the train next to me. When we arrived at Dover (which is the last stop on the train) she told me this crazy story about how she lived down at the Jersey Shore but her friend was picking her up in Northeast Jersey and she had lost all her money and phone. I let her borrow my phone and then my Dad & I waited with her on the train platform making (aw-aw-awkward) small talk while we waited for her friend to show up. That is all.
She and her friend wanted to pose for funny pictures with him, but when her friend leaned in for the pic, she slipped and the two of them ended up falling backwards and...
The dude in the green shirt was one of the "actors" in the movie (if you knowwhatimsayin). He spent his pre-scene time getting completely drunk and telling anyone that would listen that he wasn't gay and was just in porno for "the money." (...shots, probably).
And a heartfelt ending. Why, Ricky? WHY? By the way, Brother Lawrence was manning my camera for all of this and I'd like to thank him for taking such great pics.
We also learned something else about Jamaica: no matter where you go, no matter how remote or desolate the place might seem, you will have about eight minutes of "alone time," before a local will appear, seemingly out of nowhere, to try to sell you something. A tour, a bracelet, a boat ride, a snorkeling trip, and if all else fails, a giant bag of weed.
...but two! But, that's ok - by this point Meredith and I had decided to roll with the punches and actually got to meet and hang out with a bunch of locals which isn't usually the case you travel. Besides...
But it only took, yep, you guessed it, about 8 minutes for a local to appear out of the forest and offer us all sorts of services. This time, we took him up on his offer to have his friend take us out on a boat tour of the coast and the Blue Lagoon. We headed to eat lunch and set up a time to meet his friend with the boat after we'd eaten.
The guy who gave us the tour was the nicest man ever. Here he is showing us raw ackee, the national fruit. Ackee looks a lot like an orange pepper - except that it's filled with a poisonous gas (I swear to god I'm not making this up). When it gets ripe, the fruit splits open and the gas escapes making it safe for human consumption.
After dinner I went back to Vana Tom and was greeted by a supercute Russian girl at the desk, Christina. I started asking her about fun things to do in town that night and she told me that most bars and clubs were closed on Monday nights. I asked her if she wanted to head out and join me for a drink, but she told me she had to stay on duty at the desk until 2am. As I was getting ready to head back to my room she suddenly exclaimed, "Actually, you are cute boy! Do you want me to call my single friend Anna and she if she will take you out on the town?" I was like "Yeah, that'd be great!" Anna answered, but she was already in bed for the evening. Anna asked if I was free the next night and I explained that I was taking the ferry to Helsinki to meet two friends but that I'd be back in Tallinn with them later in the week. So with Anna's permission, Christina gave me Anna's number and it was decided that I'd call her when I was back in town and we'd go out.
I hung out with Christina at the desk shooting the shit for awhile and then decided to walk around outside (it had started snowing) to take some pics of the town at night in the snow.
Awwww, yeah. I was totally stoked. It looked like my boring old trip was about to take a turn toward fun with a capital ET (Estonian Teen!). I finished up my emails, and while paying for my coffee I asked the counter girl who seemed to know the group that had slipped me the note, "Which one of the girls is Vitali?" She laughed and said, "Oh, you're not gay? Vitali was the boy who was with those girls." Doh. Tallinn's a typical small town. You drink just one fruity frozen drink in public (it doesn't even matter if it was in a strip club!) and the next thing you know everyone's got you pegged for being a gay! Just my luck! On the upside...
This kid was wasted. He went to sit down in this chair and just totally and completely missed. He landed flat on his tailbone and decided to just stay down. Ouch.
The guy in the black leather jacket was pretty much the drunkest ambulatory person I've ever seen in my life. All throughout the show he wove his way in and out of the audience, jumping around, spilling drinks and either routing for or heckling the band. (He was so drunk it wasn't clear what he was yelling. Just that he was very enthusiastic about whatever it was he was yelling.)
The guy in the Yankees hat was her boyfriend who was moving away with her. Bye guys! Thanks for the shots! (FYI - they kicked off a serious night of drinking that ended up with me throwing up for the first time in like 10 years at 5am! Hahaha).
Afterwards, we went to Baramundi for a couple of drinks and it turns out that one of the bartenders there and her boyfriend both read this site. Read: FREE DRINKS! In a turn of incredibly bad luck though, it turns out that they were there to celebrate leaving the US and going to Australia (I think?). I told you that your pic would make it up here eventually! Hope the move went well!
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