a thing in 419 photos gift Grant had helped me get a photographer's pass for the event - so I got hooked up with a goody bag that included... Ellen also got Meredith Amy Sedaris' new book! More gift-opening! ...it was time for some presents! Ellen holds up the finished gift! Flying V cheese grater. Haha. Ellen brought some gifts for Sarah's belated birthday. And some multi-colored chip-clips. Score! ...that my dad got one as well! Hahah. Speaking of a Christmas story, the next morning my brother and I opened presents from our mother to find matching sweaters! And it turned out... Hot chocolate mixes for me! My dad knows what time it is. My brother gave me this Glengary-inspired mug from his work. Haha. Assorted hot chocolate flavors. Mom about to open Meredith's homemade holiday cookies! After dropping the dogs off at my parents' house we headed over to my great aunt and uncles house! Their grandkids are still younger so it's fun go get to see them get their presents! ...and cake mold that lets you make a GIANT COOKIE CAKE. Haha. Meredith got a special cake mix... I got memory foam-lined slippers! It's like your feet are getting a hug. ...she came bearing gifts! Ellen is an EXPERT present-selector. Cooper with his first night of presents! ...the inside of the shirt contained a hidden ironed-on message. Haha. And another shirt that Meredith made for me and sent out as a gift when I moved out to San Francisco! The outside was a iron of of a photo of fish I'd taken when we went to visit the Monterey Aquarium together ... He gave me an early birthday present of one of his illustrations on a shirt! On Friday, a package was delivered to me at work. I opened it up to find a wooden box... ...with a pecan pie inside! It was Jaden's birthday and Marina and Dave got him... Awesome! ...that she'd used her Dremel's diamond-attachment to decoratively-etch a bottle of wine as a gift for my cousin Lindsey's bridal shower. And a Snuggie. Haha. Present time! Make your own t-shirt crafting supplies! Present time! Part 3: Vegetarian marshmallows. Ok, so it's s'mores stuff. What about #4? Part 2: Graham crackers. Part 1: Hershey bars Meredith trying to feel a guess. I busted out my four-part gift! Hiding horse happiness. And my mom got my holiday boxers... Mac and Cheese high five! A giraffe t-shirt. (Giraffes are my favorite). Cupcake decoration kit. Meredith got me a book by John Lennon. Bonsai tree from Brett & Amy! Golf balls! I recently bought a keyboard and started teaching myself piano so Meredith's parents got me a bunch of awesome books on music theory! Dad doing some unwrapping. What these are? Mom opening some of her stocking stuffers. ...and assorted hot cocoa mixes! ...a bracelet.... Mer got... ...as dad was excited about this box of treats we brought for him. Haha. The next gift was controversial. Mom was as appalled... After dinner, we decided to honor the Battjer family tradition of opening a few presents on Christmas even. Nothing too serious, just a little present-foreplay. We started with the gifts from Santa. IF YOU TAKE THIS YOU CAN MAKE LOVE 5 TIMES IN THE NIGHT. 5 TEASPOONS OF DUST. GOOD LUCK! ...and this jar of Ali Baba Aphrodisiac for Man & Women. Before getting to the "real" gift, Leigh busted out some souvenirs she'd picked up especially for us in Turkey. Like this mini-hookah... ...a Flip video camera with a PICTURE of Maddy on the back of it. Hahaha. Amazing! After we'd finished marveling at the tiny green man's erection, Leigh busted out the big gift... ...ice cream maker! Leigh had just gotten back in town from a trip to Turkey and came over on Wednesday so we could swap gifts before we left for Florida later that evening. It's an... On Thursday night I headed out to Geordon's birthday party at BEast. Meredith was going through a glass-etching phase and gave me this martini glass with Geordon's name etched into it! Later that night we went out to dinner with the Silvermans to celebrate Chuck's birthday! Happy Birthday, Chuck! ...and to give Mer's mom her wooden duck souvenir! Later that night we went to Meredith's parent's house to say hi and catch up... A decorative fruit bowl/fashion helmet. A bottle of pink wine. Mmmmm...mmmm! We brought back a variety of "thank you" gifts including exotic Balinese incense! Oooooh! Meredith showed me the necklace our two mothers gave her as a gift! On Thursday night Leigh busted out the documentary I'd gotten for her a few weeks earlier for her birthday... ...to give to Lisa - this fancy bottle koozie with her name on it. Haha. Pauly came over for Family Night later on and Meredith gave him a gift... I laughed so hard I was crying. Thumbs up for BALD SKINHEAD WIG! Awesome present, Doug! Omg, putting this thing on was like torture. It was pulling my hair so hard. He gave me a last-minute birthday present before departing.... And mirror decals! Haha. Thanks, Ellen! Sticky slappy hand! Rubber skull key covers! Yes! After dinner, I opened Ellen's birthday presents. Circular saw pizza cutter! The Portable Atheist: Essential Readings for the Nonbeliever Why Is Sex Fun?: The Evolution Of Human Sexuality The Singularity Is Near: When Humans Transcend Biology Genome: The Autobiography of a Species in 23 Chapters The Human Face And a fancy coffee maker? What? I was confused. After Meredith was done chuckling at my confusion, she explained that these weren't birthday presents for me, they were WEDDING PRESENTS off of our registry. I saved the two biggest boxes for last. The first turned out to be a rice cooker. Hey, what kind of birthday present is this? Grinder! (Not the app! I swear!) At midnight it was officially my 33rd birthday and therefor time to open presents! Presents! Different designs for different...feet. So soft! SLIPPERS! Hahah. They both got... Outliers, Sway and RAGNAR'S URBAN SURVIVAL: A Hard-Times Guide to Staying Alive in the City. Hahaha. The books Meredith selected for me were all bulls-eyes: Fifty Places to Dive Before You Die. Woooooo! After settling in, we unpacked the gifts that had arrived while we were away. Wii Fit! 
(One of Jared Diamond's books that preceded Guns, Germs & Steel)
MOAR SCIENCE!
. (An awesome BBC documentary hosted by John Cleese!)
