The next girl that sang wasn't with our group, but since it was now almost 3am and there were only two other people at the place besides our group, this is when the distinction between "us and them" broke down and we all became ONE DRUNK KARAOKE GROUP.
Here's Lisa celebrating him! Or is has she already moved on to celebrating the Asian lady in the wicker cowboy hat? But hey, I guess it's appropriate either way. Win!
And then there was this guy! Any time someone at karaoke goes up to sing and they're holding a rocks glass, you know you're in for a treat. Booze is the secret ingredient to karaoke and so if you're drinking it straight up it's basically telling other people that you're not there to fuck around, you're there to GET YOUR KARAOKE ON! This guy and his little dino arms were a karaoke dream come true.
Jesus, lady. If you're not going to scream or do something interesting with the song you could at least take your top off or something. Let me introduce you to a couple of your more-fun karaoke counterparts!
Oh jesus, remember this lady? She was wearing some kind of "wacky jumper" outfit and went up and sang How Much Is That Puppy In the Window. Yep, the one with the waggily tail. That fucking song.
Like, how about Dr. Pumpkin Pants here! I have no memory whatsoever of what song she sang, but her outfit was so rad (I mean, HELLO!) that it just made every feel fantastic.
...to the NEXT LEVEL! Man, how awesome is this photo? I didn't even pretend that I was taking a photo of something else. I pretty much just walked over, fired off my flash directly on to them in a dark bar, and was rewarded by this lil' gem of a photo that features an under-the-shirt nipple-pinch and a gentle over-the-Umbros boner-caress! (PS - Is that Heath Ledger?)
So after I finished snapping a couple of pics of Alexis, we realized that there was a drunk couple in one of the booths next to the bar that was taking their drunken make out...
At 2am, the bars closed and we wandered around Nana Plaza talking to people and watching the madness of drunk tourists scrambling to secure "company" for the night. Here's Meredith and Jeremy posing with a kid who was selling flowers that wouldn't leave Jeremy alone because he thought it was so funny that Jeremy spoke some Thai. Hahaha. (Bonus points to the little kid for flipping the bird).
Meredith was totally blown away by all the Thai ladyboys walking around and all sorts of questions about them that Jeremy couldn't answer - so Jeremy being Jeremy, he proceeded to ask every single ladyboy that passed Meredith's questions. Some of which included "Do you still have a penis?" and "When men hire you, do they want you to act like a man or a woman?"
Most ladyboys are not shy AT ALL so when Jeremy started asking questions like this, it led to AWESOMENESS. My favorite part of the night was when Jeremy was asking a ladyboy a bunch of questions and working up to the "Do you still have a penis" part, the ladyboy was like "All your questions are making me excited. Here, I want you to feel my excitement" and proceeded to put Jeremy's hand right on the erection that was starting to form inside her miniskirt! Hahahaha.
The best part was, Jeremy wasn't even phased by it. He just laughed and then was like "So, if I wanted to party with you, how much would it cost and what would we do?" The lady put Jeremy's hand back on her penis and was like "1,500 Baht. You fuck me..." (then she leaned in and lowered her voice to a man's timbre and finished) "...then I FUCK YOU!" Hahahah. Oh, man. It was epic.
I forget this guy's name (maybe he was a friend of Max's or Blake's?), but regardless, he represented with a brand new kind of Ugly Face. Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm pleased to present to you, the "Retarded Robert DeNiro is Sad" Ugly Face! Solid!
On the way home, I made friends with drunk people on the sidewalk! I told them that I wanted to talk their picture, but that I would only take an "action" picture. Which led to this photo...
By the time we got to the LES, whatever party we were supposed to have been attending, had long since ended. So instead we made friends with a bearded, black cowboy...
We started off the night locally at Revolver where we ran into Gideon and one of his "fans." Sunglasses at night indoors? Check! Avenged Sevenfold shirt sans sleeves? Check! Finger-less gloves? Check! Wow. Just wow.
Here's the pic I snapped of the two of them cozying up at like 5:30am before I left. I ran into Xiaoting two weeks later and she simultaneously started laughing and hitting me. Then explained, "I was so drunk I ended up flirting and talking with that dude for hours before finally getting around to mentioning how cool it was that he was in Guns n Roses and he was like 'What?!?'" Hahahahahaha. Oh man, what's better than this photo? Happy August!
...I ended up managing to convince a TOTALLY WASTED Xiaoting that the guy in the hat was "Slash from Guns N Roses." She got all giddy and was like "Ohmigod, I LOVE GnR! Are you serious? Are you sure that's him?" I was like "Of COURSE it's him! Don't you know what Slash looks like?" She started freaking out "Wow! I HAVE to meet him! Should I go over there?" I told her I thought she should, but offered up one last word of advice: "Whatever you do, don't bring the whole Guns n Roses thing right away. I've heard he HATES people that only want to meet him because he's famous." So Xiaoting went over and was being all shy and flirty with him (while we laughed hysterically and watched).
Not sure who the mustachioed man in the embroidered shirt was (one of the Killers roadies?). But when he broke out his guitar and started playing tunes...
Oh man, I love this picture SO MUCH. Every time I look at David's face I can actually hear the perverted little cackle he does when something naughty happens: "Heh...heh...heeeh."
Right around eleven, Mr. David K. (aka - "Sketchy Dave") showed up with some lil' teen strumpet who was up in town for a few days visiting him from somewhere down south.
Same goes for this broseph - no idea who he was, but when he jumped down off that karaoke stage and took the mic "out into the crowd," he landed himself a place right inside my karaoke-heart. Awwww.
"...can we try?" Hahaha. Here are three totally random strangers joining in for the TEAM UGLY FACE! Then, just when I was beginning to think that the night couldn't get any better, who should stroll into the bar?
While I was at the bar getting us one more round of drinks before heading out, I started chatting with the really cute girl on the left (yep, the one making the awesomely stupid face). While were chatting, Miye and Miriam came over and introduced themselves and we learned that the girl had just moved into town from somewhere in the Midwest and didn't know many people in town yet. We invited her to come out with us and she agreed but then the people that she was there with came over and they were these horrible, JAPpy modeling agency casting director type harpies that you'd see on one of those VH1 shows about New Yorkers that try to act like their life is JUST LIKE Sex and the City and they whisked her away from us...never to be heard from again. Until...I awkwardly ran into her on the street the very afternoon!
The couple in the front row was so captivated by my rendering of Ricky's heartfelt tale that they actually stopped Frenching so that they could turn around and listen to me sing (and so that the dude could slowly grind his boner into her ass).
...he chickened out! Hey, I don't blame him - he had nothing to gain from the race. If he won, everybody would've been like "Yeah, of course you beat the white guy, YOU'RE BLACK!" But if he lost, then it would've been like "Oh no, you're the black guy that got beat in a foot race BY A WHITE DUDE!" So, hey, I'm not saying I don't understand.
After the band was finished, a few of our girls went over to talk to the tall girl (and apparently give her a "kissy stamp") but before any further shenanigans could ensue, her ultra-scary boyfriend,complete with Russian Mafia hitman-stare and a black eye (he actually had a black eye!!!) came over and made it clear that he didn't approve of ANY TYPE of shenanigans. Doh!
Later that night, Mike and I went to Orchard bar. Right around 4am, this girl tried to pick a fight with one of our friends and then Sarah turned the music off and the whole place started booing her. I managed to snap this photo as she grabbed her stuff and left in a huff (bonus points to Brandon Reilly who can be seen in the background laughing at her!).
If you've read any of those previous Thanksgiving entries (linked up there above), you'll know that the first thing that I do whenever I go home for Thanksgiving is go to a bar called "The Barn" that's become the de facto place for impromptu Roxbury High School reunions! (By the way, when did Mystery the pick-up artist start frequenting the place?)
The show started out normal enough, but then halfway through the set, this wannabe Lenny Kravitz pushed his way up to the stage and started giving Grant funny looks.
Grant was so distracted, that he eventually just ended up inviting the guy up on stage. Things got even weirder when he produced a Minnie Mouse hand puppet from out of thin air.
...but that all ended when I looked a few stalls over and saw this dude using a compound bow to shoot human-shaped mannequins in the head with arrows from a distance of 75 ft. (Human mannequins! In the head! Who the hell practices headshots with a bow???)
I was upstairs and I spotted a David lookalike (why he was dressed up as a character from Star Trek, I'm not sure). Anyway, we asked him to kiss Leigh and then I sent this picture to Kim (David's GF who had gone back to the UK a few days ahead of David) and was like "David's totally out of control! He came to Misshapes dressed up as a guy from Star Trek and was trying to make out with all the girls there!" Hahaha. She almost believed me.
While we were all standing outside playing with Piper, I noticed that there was a really, really drunk girl sitting up against the building and teetering back and forth. Sensing something magical was about to happen, I made sure to keep my finger on the shutter button. Sure enough, a few minutes later....wait for it....wait for it....
...BAAAAAAAAARF! I managed to catch the impact but was a few seconds too late to catch the actual vom-stream coming out of her mouth. (I guess I'm slipping!).
Huh. I don't know what which surprises me most: The fact that he brought his parrot to the park (complete with a little travel parrot-perch!), the fact that he decided to strip down to his undies and play with his parrot...
...or the fact that he was accompanied to the park by an actual woman. Seen here hiding her face. Which I'm sure is only because of the sun. (What, you mean you'd be embarrassed to have a parrot on your ass?)
...until he'd almost fall out of his seat, than he'd sit bolt upright and the whole process would start all over again. It was really crazy to watch! I can't imagine having that as a medical condition. It was funny to watch everyone on the subway try to pretend they weren't totally staring.
