i keep a diary

a person in 377 photos in 2003

fatty

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fatty
Somehow the conversation turned to fitness which led to Jen boasting that she was strong enough to pick up and carry a 200+lbs man. Here she is proving her point with the Fatty.
new year's eve
December 31, 2003
fatty
And then Jen took here shirt off? (I don't even remember what was going on here. I was too busy praying that my batteries wouldn't die before things got more interesting).
new year's eve
December 31, 2003
fatty
Some people just don't learn.
new year's eve
December 31, 2003
fatty
Bwa-ahahahaha. Drunk people in hammock = Disaster always.
new year's eve
December 31, 2003
fatty
Add a little Liz to tha mix and the next thing you know...
new year's eve
December 31, 2003
fatty
Oh, snap. The Fatty getting his New Year's smooch on.
new year's eve
December 31, 2003
fatty
See? I'll bet you know where this is headed...(ps - Liz, you have a sick onion).
new year's eve
December 31, 2003
fatty
Fatty and Jen were being all nawdy with each other.
new year's eve
December 31, 2003
fatty
And I found the Fatty in a rare, intoxicated state getting frizzesh with the ladies.
new year's eve
December 31, 2003
fatty
Then we stopped at In N Out for a little holiday burger treat.
trip to cali part 5: back to la
December 19, 2003
fatty
Fare thee well Fatty! After seeing Dave off, Grant and I went to a bookstore and killed some time before we came back for him to drop me off (I was actually supposed to stay another two days, but being in 65 degree weather a few days before Christmas proved to be too much and I switched my flight so I could get home, do a little Christmas shopping and spend some time with my fam.
trip to cali part 5: back to la
December 19, 2003
fatty
Then Grant and I dropped the Fatty off.
trip to cali part 5: back to la
December 19, 2003
fatty
Mmmm! Fatty likey! Hehehe.
trip to cali part 5: back to la
December 19, 2003
fatty
The Fatty and Joey.
trip to cali part 5: back to la
December 19, 2003
fatty
Me and the Fatty all dressed up.
trip to cali part 5: back to la
December 19, 2003
fatty
Well, almost every single reason. Check out LA, working hard to further blur the line between gainful employment and prostitution.
trip to cali part 5: back to la
December 19, 2003
fatty
Fatty gets his "Jew on" in front of the largest menorahs either of us had ever seen.
trip to cali part 5: back to la
December 19, 2003
fatty
We got to Ross & Jord's just in time to have a lovely Hanukah dinner with Ross' parents.
trip to cali part 5: back to la
December 19, 2003
fatty
Fatty crashed the fuck out on the ride. Hahah.
trip to cali part 5: back to la
December 19, 2003
fatty
After I'd finished documenting our facial hair, we headed back to the house, showered (and I shaved, thank god), packed up and hit the road to head back down to Los Angeles (to attend the surprise birthday party that Jordana had put together for him. Shhhh!).
trip to cali part 5: back to la
December 19, 2003
fatty
Fatty, seen here double fisting, was getting pretty drunk at this point in the night. I remember him turning to me, nudging me yet again and pointing out his favorite, older blonde lady and saying "Dude, I think I realized why she's so hot. She totally looks like Stifler's Mom!"
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
fatty
Fatty was up first with Huey Lewis' "I Want a New Drug."
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
fatty
...and refugee groupies from the 80s! Awwww, yeah! (This lady was awesome - she was totally all over Fatty. Fatty was laughing, but at the same time he was all nervous because she was there with a bunch of scary looking dudes. Check out how Fatty's all got his arms up in the air like "I'm not touching her, see? She is the one touching me!")
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
fatty
Complete with air guitar and leg kicks.
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
fatty
Fatty and Grant chowing down.
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
fatty
...and in no time the scary, back-country logger/cowboy sex advice was flowing like tobacco spit.
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
fatty
The questions!
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
fatty
Here's Grant nursing a couple of beers as he got up the courage to ask some of the burly men for their best tips on how to get women to have anal sex, etc.
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
fatty
One of the ranch hands was kind enough to give our saddle-sore cityslicker asses a lift back from the stable to the house (saving us the embarrasment of a bowlegged walk of pain home).
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
fatty
Homeward bound.
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
fatty
Fatty opening the gate next to the hoofguard on the ride back home.
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
fatty
Okay, I'm running out of things to say in these captions so just relax and enjoy the pics.
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
fatty
Hahah.
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
fatty
Grant in the sun.
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
fatty
Fatty surveying his home on the range.
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
fatty
Grant holding my horse for me while I dismounted to open the gate next to the hoof guard so that we could move on to a different area of the ranch.
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
fatty
He's the Fatty: on a steel horse he rides...
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
fatty
Heading towards the open trails.
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
fatty
Fatty in the sun.
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
fatty
Grant and the Fatty on theirs. Now, one thing to keep in mind - the horses we were riding weren't wimpy petting zoo horses that have been ridden by hundreds of people. These horses were broken, but don't get ridden all that often - and when they do get ridden, they're ridden by real cowboys who know how to handle them. So in the beginning, we each had to spend quite a bit of time with our horses pretending like we knew how to act like we were in charge.
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
fatty
...and here's the Fatty and Grant.
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
fatty
Us in the stable
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
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Fatty at the ranch gates.
trip to cali part 3: sf to northfork
December 15, 2003
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Grant and Fatty.
trip to cali part 3: sf to northfork
December 15, 2003
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Fatty in front of the fire hydrant for YET ANOTHER potential JDate pic.
trip to cali part 3: sf to northfork
December 15, 2003
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Yaaaaaay, Horses!
trip to cali part 3: sf to northfork
December 15, 2003
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Fwiends!
trip to cali part 3: sf to northfork
December 15, 2003
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They're both smiling. Hahaha.
trip to cali part 3: sf to northfork
December 15, 2003
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Haaaaaay!
trip to cali part 3: sf to northfork
December 15, 2003
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The approach.
trip to cali part 3: sf to northfork
December 15, 2003
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More pics of Fatty making friends, this time with my nostril-friend horse.
trip to cali part 3: sf to northfork
December 15, 2003
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Fatty making friends.
trip to cali part 3: sf to northfork
December 15, 2003
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Fatty cooking breffess for the boys. Bacon? Bad Jew! Baaaaaad Jew!
trip to cali part 3: sf to northfork
December 15, 2003
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Fatty and the ranch dog.
trip to cali part 3: sf to northfork
December 15, 2003
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Scarfing Taco Bell in the parking lot while waiting for the theatre to open. Classy!
trip to cali part 3: sf to northfork
December 15, 2003
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...RETALIATION! The Fatty Strikes Back!
trip to cali part 3: sf to northfork
December 15, 2003
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We got to North Fork and met up with Fatty and Grant's good friend Aaron Schmidt who had driven up from San Diego to visit with his boys. We dropped our stuff off at the ranch house and by the time we'd driven back into town (around 10pm, mind you) the only place open that was serving food was McDonalds (where the heat wasn't working). Here's us with Aaron "Double A" Schmidt eating and freezing.
trip to cali part 3: sf to northfork
December 15, 2003
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Fatty took himself a little post-McDonalds nappity nap and opened his eyes just in time to see Grant taking a picture of him as lead star in the first braining of our California adventure.
trip to cali part 3: sf to northfork
December 15, 2003
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After a restful night of sleep at Uncle Ira's, we woke on Monday to do some quick exploring of San Fran before starting the four and a half hour drive out to the ranch in North Fork.
trip to cali part 3: sf to northfork
December 15, 2003
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Fatty and his French toast.
trip to cali part 3: sf to northfork
December 15, 2003
fatty
Then he gave us the "Jacob Dylan"
trip to cali part two: la to san francisco
December 13, 2003
fatty
First we got a taste of the JFK, Jr.
trip to cali part two: la to san francisco
December 13, 2003
fatty
After getting settled in at Uncle Ira's, we all headed to downtown SF to meet up with some friends (my friend Alysha, Jamie Waxman, who we know from NYC, and one of Jordana's good friends from school) and have some Thai food.
trip to cali part two: la to san francisco
December 13, 2003
fatty
...and Fatty showed off his incredibly sculptible hair.
trip to cali part two: la to san francisco
December 13, 2003
fatty
Uncle Ira and Dave (check out the Fateman family resemblance. Awesome).
trip to cali part two: la to san francisco
December 13, 2003
fatty
...this guy's dad's brother (Yay! It's the Fatty!) and was kind enough to put us up for the night!
trip to cali part two: la to san francisco
December 13, 2003
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With Frank's drum kit taking up the entire rear half of his car, Fatty and I were forced to share the front seat.
em and lo's book reading
November 25, 2003
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Me and the Fatty (who's looking super-disco in the photo).
em and lo's book reading
November 25, 2003
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Sweaty Frank, Emma and a schoolboyish Fatty.
em and lo's book reading
November 25, 2003
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The Fatty on bass...
em and lo's book reading
November 25, 2003
fatty
At first you thought that this photo was repetitive and not worth including...and then you looked again and noticed Fatty's ridiculous expression in the background and suddenly everything made sense.
grant's surprise party
November 07, 2003
fatty
Haase, while Grant and the Fatty do their best impersonations of the shaved headed wunderkind. HA ha ha ha.
grant's surprise party
November 07, 2003
fatty
Hahahaha.
grant's surprise party
November 07, 2003
fatty
John Craven, Fatty, Chris and myself met up with Grant for a lil' birthday dinner at Cafe Gitane in Soho.
grant's surprise party
November 07, 2003
fatty
On the walk over we tried to distract Grant from wondering if he was on his way to a surprise party by having a contest to see who could most closely mimic the running and jumping mural figures on 2nd St between B & C. Here's Fatty's attempt.
grant's surprise party
November 07, 2003
fatty
As you can tell by his face in this photo, Grant knew something was up. Emma and Lo called as planned, but dinner was taking too long. As I kept trying to rush things along, Grant kept saying things like "Why the rush? Why are we in such a hurry?" All smarmy-like.
grant's surprise party
November 07, 2003
fatty
Is it just me or does Fatty look like a ten year-old wearing Gene Wilder's Mr. Wonka wig from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?
grant's surprise party
November 07, 2003
fatty
Fire up iTunes and here cue up Crüe's "Home Sweet Home." Awww, yeah.
european vacation part 21: heading home!
November 01, 2003
fatty
Here's Chris and Fatty back at my apartment getting ready to head back to their respective homes - so ends our journey.

Between the three of us that had cameras, we managed to take just over 2,000 pictures which I edited down to 21 entries comprised of exactly 790 photos. And so it's with these last few words that I end the European Vacation Series (which is by far, the longest diary project I've ever undertaken). Back to life in NYC!
european vacation part 21: heading home!
November 01, 2003
fatty
As we scrambled up to the gate we realized that there are probably worse things than being accidentally stranded in Iceland for a day or two.
european vacation part 21: heading home!
November 01, 2003
fatty
With one final pic of the fantasic four, we said goodbye to Grant (who was staying behind in London for another couple of days) and....
european vacation part 21: heading home!
November 01, 2003
fatty
...boarded our plane.
european vacation part 21: heading home!
November 01, 2003
fatty
But not before gratuitious man-hugs were administered by the Fatty.
european vacation part 21: heading home!
November 01, 2003
fatty
Shuttlebus from the rental car drop-off to the terminal.
european vacation part 21: heading home!
November 01, 2003
fatty
Saturday morning we woke up, double checked our packed bags, thanked Grant's parents for their hospitality, and hit the road for Heathrow.
european vacation part 21: heading home!
November 01, 2003
fatty
Here's another one. This one's my pensive and artsy "I'm acting like the camera's not there, but clearly I must know it is because I'm the one who took the picture" picture. Who's more emo than me? Motherfuck this photo diary nonsense, I'm gonna get me a LiveJournal. (ps - look at the two cutey patooties passed out next to me like little sleeping lambs. Teeheehee.)
european vacation part 21: heading home!
November 01, 2003
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Saturday, Chris was in town and the four of us got together for brunch at 9th Street Market to reminisce about our recent hijinx in Europe.
the november roundup
November, 2003
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Better yet, Fatty was smelling the flowers on our table when he got too close and ended up getting pollen all over his nose. (PS - Go see Shrek 2. When Shrek gets turned into a human...oooops....SPOILER!.....the human version of Shrek looks exactly like Fatty. Seriously. It's fucking hilarious).
the november roundup
November, 2003
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I'm Shrek! Ahhhhhhhhhh!
the november roundup
November, 2003
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On Wednesday Grant came back from London (he stayed behind to hang with his parents after our vacation ended, remember?) and was going to be in NYC for a few days (one of which we threw him a surprise party) before heading back to Los Angeles to do some final work oh his television pilot (nope, so not kidding). That night Fatty, (the rarely photographed) Michael Martin and myself all met up with Grant at the nearby Congee Village for some tasty dinner.
the november roundup
November, 2003
fatty
On the way home, we stopped for a little McDonalds drive thru action.
european vacation part 20: halloween in bas vegas, baby!
October 31, 2003
fatty
The group headed outside for our last round of goodbyes. With the exception of Grant who was staying behind for a few more days to hang with his family, the rest of us were heading back to the States in the mornin
european vacation part 20: halloween in bas vegas, baby!
October 31, 2003
fatty
Fatty, Charlene, Martin and Dani.
european vacation part 20: halloween in bas vegas, baby!
October 31, 2003
fatty
We posed for one last group photo before all going our separate ways. Let's hear it for Halloween 2003. Wooooo!
european vacation part 20: halloween in bas vegas, baby!
October 31, 2003
fatty
Dani and the Fatty (who, by the looks of this photo, has had a few drinks).
european vacation part 20: halloween in bas vegas, baby!
October 31, 2003
fatty
Here's Steve, Charlene, Chris, Dani, Grant and the Fatty out on near the dancefloor and visibly liquored up at this point.
european vacation part 20: halloween in bas vegas, baby!
October 31, 2003
fatty
And hey, I bet you'd completely forgotten that this was Halloween night. We'd almost forgotten too - or at least until Charlene and Dave found these creepy masks that the put on. (This was our first Halloween in two years that we didn't get to attend Viola's "My Friends are All Out of Your League" Supermodel Party. See: Halloween 2001 and Halloween 2002.)
european vacation part 20: halloween in bas vegas, baby!
October 31, 2003
fatty
Hahahah. What's better than Fatty's face in this picture?
european vacation part 20: halloween in bas vegas, baby!
October 31, 2003
fatty
ESS-EX! C'mon where my nig-noggz at?
european vacation part 20: halloween in bas vegas, baby!
October 31, 2003
fatty
Awww, yeah - check tha setup! Awwww, look how cute Grant's mom is all displaying the food with the boys. (And be forewarned, anybody making remarks about Moms in the comments section will be promptly banned. In the words, of the Wise Fatty, "Dat shit ain' coo'!")
european vacation part 19: a day in essex
October 31, 2003