Meredith got The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (which is, hand DOWN, the worst movie of all time. It's one of those movies that would usually be so bad that it's good, but this one goes so far, that it veered back around to being bad again) and Back Door to Heaven.
Amanda shows off The Blind Watchmaker (which HAD to be gift from the Fatty - he's been all about Richard Dawkins since before he became a household name).
Now that my dad is retired and my mom is still working, she said it's only fair that HE should start cooking dinner a few times a week. She's been saying this for years and I think it's yet to happen. So for Christmas she got him a few of Rachael Ray's books to help him along.
Sunday was Christmas Day for the Battjers! It was kind of quiet this year because my brother was out in Ohio with his girlfriend's family so it was just me and...
After the lights were on, we decorated the tree with ornaments and put all the presents we'd wrapped earlier in the evening underneath! The tree looked gorgeous, but it was definitely lacking something. Then it hit us, we didn't have a star or an angel to top the tree off with! So we decided to look around Fatty's apartment and improvise. Grant poked around under Fatty's bed and found...
We got her Oprah's 20th Anniversary DVD collection (which was actually released on the day of her birthday!). Look how happy my mom is! (And check out my brother's magnificent "Get a load of Oprah") Hahah. Happy Birthday, mom! We love you!
Sunday morning = time to go home. While packing, we sorted through all the schwag bags we'd grabbed to see if there was anything worth keeping. The most puzzling schwag bag we received had to be the one that contained only two things: A t-shirt promoting the nation-wide release of the indie film Garden State (size: XXXL) and a single packet of Astroglide personal lubricant. I can honestly say, my curiousity about the film was certainly piqued! But the award for "best freebie" has to go to...
...like these studded (studded??) Rough Rider condoms. (Check out that sexy-ass saggy-titted lady on the package. Her vagina can't wait to pummeled by a bumpy cock!)
Here's me with my portable Wolverine drive! (When you're traveling, you can copy over the pictures from your full memory cards to this little bad boy, then erase the cards and keep shooting).
Present time! My Great Aunt Ann is my dad's father's step-sister...which means that I pretty much can't name you one single person in any of these photos! But hey, presents!
The next few gift were to help me fit in with "all of the homeless people that you're sure to be hanging out with." Fake moustaches (because my friends all know that I can't grow a real moustache to save my life).
Some incense. ("After you're done humping hippy chicks, you might want to burn some of this. It'll help clear the air in the room.") I wasn't sure what the next gift was at first...
First up, a sweet Haight-Ashbury tie-dyed shirt. When I was like "This shirt's way too big!" They replied "Don't worry, you're going to start smoking lots of pot and do nothing out there. You'll get real fat and grow into it."
Grant, Leigh, Meredith and Sarah (none of whom were super-pleased with my decision to move) came over to my apartment early to give me a series of presents they'd named "The New Yorker in San Franciso Survival Kit." My interest was piqued.
....SHAZAM! San Francisco Brian is here! "Seriously, you should wear that on the plane out there. People will totally think you're a native that was just visiting NYC. You look great. You're totally going to fit in out there!"
When Leigh and I met up with Meredith on the street, she was holding a shopping bag and laughing. Apparently, my birthday present that she'd told me was being "specially made" had finally arrvied and she informed me that she was going to "make me wear it out tonight." Well, Meredith's present turned out to be this uber-classy shirt that says "P is for Pussy" on the front (complete with a picture of the cookie monster doing the internation sign for pussy-eating)...
...and on the back had "Pussy Monster" and the number 28 in honor of my recent birthday. (As for having to wear the shirt out in public for the night, Leigh's face pretty much sums it up.)
I hit the back office to grab Leigh and given a special "Happy Birthday / Sorry You're Going to Have to Live with Hippies in San Francisco" survival kit. She wrapped everything in a wicker basket that she explained was "perfect for dirty hippie picnics in the park with homeless people." Hahaha. (Bonus points awarded for the "Peace Frog" sticker and eagle-talon holding a crystal ball necklace.
On Wednesday we all met up at the Sunburnt Cow to celebrate Emma Taylor's birthday! Here's Lo (showing off some of the birthday girl's goodies) and Em.
After the screening, I headed back into Brooklyn to celebrate Siege's birthday! (Grant cried about being tired from moving all day and went home leaving me to go alone). Here's Katie and the birthday boy unwrapping presents at the Greenpoint Tavern.
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