Late night outside. Tinny getting sad because we realized with my impending move to San Francisco just ten days away, this was my 2nd to last Misshapes attendance (or so we thought at the time! Doh!). But that doesn't mean that she wasn't wishing me...
John Roche (who I went to Keystone Jr. College with back in '95!!!) even showed up with a friend. Although once we got a look at how crowded it was inside he was like "Uh, happy birthday dude. Maybe we can hang out some other time?"
So this handsome feller here is Pete. On this night, it was his job to stamp everyone's hand as they entered the party. Eveything was going smoothly until my friend Sarah D. showed up with some prissy French dude she was dating at the time who didn't refused to have his hand stamped. Pete was like "C'mon dude, just give me your hand, you're blocking the doorway and holding up the whole line." Again, he refused. And Pete was like "What's the problem, just give me your hand!" The French guy was like "I have important meetings, I can't have some stamp on my hand!" Pete was like "Homeboy, just give me your hand." The French guy got angry and indignant and started getting in Pete's face saying "Don't you know who I am?" Pete, apparently not knowing who he was went ahead and gave him a stamp...
Neil (who, just so you know, is the current Nugget
Eating Champ of the World) leans in to check out to what degree
the guy is passed out. Verdict: Out Fucking Cold.
Ok, ok. I'm sure all of you have probably seen all these
photos already either on the Misshapes site or back when
it appeared in Vice,
but for any of you who may not have see it, here's the story:
I was texting with Dennis
Crowley's little
brother Jonathan on Saturday night
and I invited him and his buddy Neil to Misshapes. They showed
up late night and after vetoing the too-packed dance floor
upstairs, we decided to hang in the back room downstairs
where we discovered this sleeping prince.
Then we decided it was time to play everyone's favorite game: DRUNK GUY JENGA! The rules are simple, each person takes a turn placing any object within reach on the passed out person. If you wake them up, you lose!
....PANTYBANDIT! Awwww yeah, lemme hear ya! Check out Scott laughing because he total caught the PantyBandit in action. (PS - I'd be lying if I didn't mention that this photo kind of gives me a boner.)
Oh yeah, and based on this picture I guess I also played "Hot For Teacher" by VH. (I only know that because it's the only song with a pick-slide hot enough to merit a physcial reenactment).
At some point in the night, somebody found this creepy haircutting practice-head and put it on the booth monitor. We named her Lila and she ended up making the rounds.
What I lacked in technical proficiency, I made up for in balls to tha walls rock the fuck out tracks. Off the top of my head, a few of my choice jizzams of the night were:
Judy is a Punk - Screeching Weasel
I Don't Want to Grow Up - Descendents
Mustapha Dance - The Clash
Gimme Some More - Busta Rhymes
99 Red Balloon - 7 Seconds
Ready Steady Go - Generation X
Ever Fallen in Love - Buzzcocks
Dancing Machine - Jackson 5
Gloria - Laura Brannigan (of course!)
Dance Hall Music - Murder City Devils
Bombshell - Op Ivy
Mona Lisa - Slick Rick
Miss You - Rolling Stones
Rat Fink - Misfits
Maneater - Hall & Oates
and my personal fave...
Jump in the Line - Motherfucking Harry Belafonte
Meredith danced so hard her ass actually burst forth and split the entire ass-seam of her pants. Cat and Sarah lifted the shirt she tied around her waist and contemplated the damage.
The guy was so drunk he couldn't even tell us his name. Sarah thought he was cute and kept suggesting that she take him back to her place. Hahahaha. Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure!
In the end, I ended up fishing his wallet out of his pants and looking up his name and address (if memory serves correctly, I think his name was Brice or something like that). Here's Tinny holding his phone to his ear as we took turns calling people in his phone trying to get someone who knew him to confirm his address so we could put him in a cab. (In the end, we were never able to confirm where he lived so we sat him down outside with a bottle of water and went back inside. When I came out an hour later, he was passed out and had pissed his pants and we ended up calling the cops who sent an ambulance for him. Doh!) Anybody know who this guy is?
Later that evening, I was standing next to the DJ booth chatting with Sarah when all of a sudden a guy standing next to me full-on passed out while standing up and went down like a bag o' bricks. The bouncer summoned me to help him carry the guy outside and somewhere in the process of trying to lift him up, his pants came down exposing...
