i keep a diary

a person in 660 photos in 2003

grant

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And on the way home, um, Grant coldlamped with a Corvette.
the november roundup
November, 2003
grant
Right before going to bed, we caught Grant dancing around in front of the mirror in his little bikini underwear - I tried to take a picture, but he saw me and dived to block the lens at the very last second. You're a lucky, lucky boy Mr. Stoddard.
european vacation part 20: halloween in bas vegas, baby!
October 31, 2003
grant
On the way home, we stopped for a little McDonalds drive thru action.
european vacation part 20: halloween in bas vegas, baby!
October 31, 2003
grant
Hahaha.
european vacation part 20: halloween in bas vegas, baby!
October 31, 2003
grant
We posed for one last group photo before all going our separate ways. Let's hear it for Halloween 2003. Wooooo!
european vacation part 20: halloween in bas vegas, baby!
October 31, 2003
grant
Here's a better pic of him. He was dating this girl who had these weird saggy titties and no bra and the entire time they were making out on the dance floor he kept taking her titties and TWISTING the fuck out of them.
european vacation part 20: halloween in bas vegas, baby!
October 31, 2003
grant
Grant demonstrates. It was amazing.
european vacation part 20: halloween in bas vegas, baby!
October 31, 2003
grant
Grant was all excited because he thought this woman was dressed up as something for Halloween but then a few days later he saw the picture and realized that she was just dressed up as herself.
european vacation part 20: halloween in bas vegas, baby!
October 31, 2003
grant
Grant and Martin give up a lil' "Blue Steel" cheekbone action for the cam.
european vacation part 20: halloween in bas vegas, baby!
October 31, 2003
grant
Hahahaha. Right before the shutter clicked Grant bombed Chris with a super sneaky "Who does this guy think he is?" pose.
european vacation part 20: halloween in bas vegas, baby!
October 31, 2003
grant
Grant and Steve.
european vacation part 20: halloween in bas vegas, baby!
October 31, 2003
grant
Here's Steve, Charlene, Chris, Dani, Grant and the Fatty out on near the dancefloor and visibly liquored up at this point.
european vacation part 20: halloween in bas vegas, baby!
October 31, 2003
grant
Right when we got into the club, Grant ran into John Henderson, yet another high school pal of his.
european vacation part 20: halloween in bas vegas, baby!
October 31, 2003
grant
Grant in a rare "I'm on the dancefloor but I'm not doing the Molly Ringwald dance" moment.
european vacation part 20: halloween in bas vegas, baby!
October 31, 2003
grant
Best. Photo. Ever. Seriously though, who else can make the biddies giggle like the Grizza? NO ONE, that's who! Check out Dani all touching his chest and shit. Kid's the fucking mack.
european vacation part 20: halloween in bas vegas, baby!
October 31, 2003
grant
We first went into a "pre-club bar" called Bond's where we met up with some of Grant's friends from high school. Here's the Grizza with HS chums Martin Green and Matt Blake (Greeney & Blakey, respectively)
european vacation part 20: halloween in bas vegas, baby!
October 31, 2003
grant
We wanted to eat lots of stinky, spicy Indian food - that way if none of us managed to pull in the clubs later that night, we could all blame it on our kicking BREAFFF! (Hey, it worked in Greece, right?)
european vacation part 19: a day in essex
October 31, 2003
grant
Awww, yeah - check tha setup! Awwww, look how cute Grant's mom is all displaying the food with the boys. (And be forewarned, anybody making remarks about Moms in the comments section will be promptly banned. In the words, of the Wise Fatty, "Dat shit ain' coo'!")
european vacation part 19: a day in essex
October 31, 2003
grant
After my little nappy nap, Grant and I headed down to Eastern Eye to pick up the enormous order of Indian food we'd ordered for dinner (where I managed to snap this sick-ass photo of Grant's superb rendition of the rarely seen sideways variation of the DLR [that's Mr. Lee Roth, to you son] air kick.)
european vacation part 19: a day in essex
October 31, 2003
grant
You know you got accidentally shitfaced when your cravings for a salty, fatty snack become so intense that you actually end up consuming a bag of something that's called "Mr. Porky Pork Scratching."
european vacation part 19: a day in essex
October 31, 2003
grant
And then we drove back towards Corringham to the White Lion Pub in Fobbing to meet up Grant's dad and...
european vacation part 19: a day in essex
October 31, 2003
grant
...Kris Perrin, Grant's best friend from high school.
european vacation part 19: a day in essex
October 31, 2003
grant
...but eventually, even he, the videogame detractor, couldn't help but get caught up in the frenzy of excitement that is SILENT SCOPE 2.
european vacation part 19: a day in essex
October 31, 2003
grant
Kris showing off his new ink.
european vacation part 19: a day in essex
October 31, 2003
grant
After spending too much money at the arcade (those pound coins certainly aren't US quarters) we went the the nearby "Under the Arches" restaurant and got our fish and chips (Because it's just not a shore experience until you've had something deep-fried).
european vacation part 19: a day in essex
October 31, 2003
grant
Grant was standoffish at first....
european vacation part 19: a day in essex
October 31, 2003
grant
...and headed for the nearby shore town of Leigh-on-Sea. (Beyond the lovely scenery, the best part of the trip was the Abott & Costello-esque conversation between Grant and the Fatty where Fatty thought the town was called "Leon's Sea.")
european vacation part 19: a day in essex
October 31, 2003
grant
....ARCADE TIME! (Look at Grant and Chris peeking out in the background. Hahaha).
european vacation part 19: a day in essex
October 31, 2003
grant
...ESSEX! That's right! We were heading out to Grant's parent's house in Essex to hang with his family and so he could show us around Corringham, the town he spend his formative years in.
european vacation part 18: leaving crete.
October 30, 2003
grant
After a long-ass day of traveling and layovers, we landed in Heathrow a little past 11pm local time.
european vacation part 18: leaving crete.
October 30, 2003
grant
After a 90-minute, white-knuckled drive in the rain (on the wrong side of the road)...
european vacation part 18: leaving crete.
October 30, 2003
grant
Grant hopped on the "red phone" and ordered us up a car. We claimed our bags and prepared to head to (DRUMROLL)....
european vacation part 18: leaving crete.
October 30, 2003
grant
After a few England-bound hours in the air, it was time for ANOTHER MEAL! Wooooo! Who loves airline food more than us?
european vacation part 18: leaving crete.
October 30, 2003
grant
...we arrived safely and without incident (save a slight yelling match between Grant and the rest of the passengers in the car who politely asked him if he would "SLOW THE FUCK DOWN SO DON'T HYDROPLANE OFF THE ROAD AND DIE FOR FUCK'S SAKE!") at Grant's parent's home and celebrated with some stiff drinks...
european vacation part 18: leaving crete.
October 30, 2003
grant
The Grizza takes a skeptical bite...
european vacation part 18: leaving crete.
October 30, 2003
grant
Despite all of my SUSPICIOUS CAMERA ACTIVITY I somehow managed to make it aboard the plane. Wait, where's the Fatty?
european vacation part 18: leaving crete.
October 30, 2003
grant
Check it out: both Grant and Fatty are "handling their luggage."
european vacation part 18: leaving crete.
October 30, 2003
grant
We bid our lovely condo a fond farewell and piled into our sweet, lil' rental one last time.
european vacation part 18: leaving crete.
October 30, 2003
grant
Once in the airport, we grabbed a quick slice...
european vacation part 18: leaving crete.
October 30, 2003
grant
With a fistfulla cone, we bid a last fond-farewell to Rethymnon.
european vacation part 17: the melidoni caves.
October 29, 2003
grant
Back at the condo after dinner, Fatty managed to get off a fairly decent braining while Grant took a nap. He was about to lean in closer, but Grant woke up (This kid's so high-strung a mouse fart'd wake him up).
european vacation part 17: the melidoni caves.
October 29, 2003
grant
Hahahah.
european vacation part 17: the melidoni caves.
October 29, 2003
grant
Fatty and Grant.
european vacation part 17: the melidoni caves.
October 29, 2003
grant
Back in the village, we stopped for gas and debated if we had time to do any more sightseeing and still be able to make it back to the condo before nightfall.
european vacation part 17: the melidoni caves.
October 29, 2003
grant
Back in the parking lot, Grant snapped a bunch of pics as we prepared to head back to Rethymnon.
european vacation part 17: the melidoni caves.
October 29, 2003
grant
Grant off to explore one of the smaller side-caves.
european vacation part 17: the melidoni caves.
October 29, 2003
grant
...I claimed I wanted to get a picture of these three on their way down, but it was really just my sneaky was of getting them to go first in case there were any ScoobyDoo-esque villians waiting below.
european vacation part 17: the melidoni caves.
October 29, 2003
grant
Fatty, Grant and Chris.
european vacation part 17: the melidoni caves.
October 29, 2003
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Same with tha Grizza.
european vacation part 16: scootering again.
October 29, 2003
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Twenty minutes later, and down at the bottom of the mountain we just ridden over, we stopped again to warm our hands.
european vacation part 16: scootering again.
October 29, 2003
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Grant in front of the entrance to the cloisters.
european vacation part 16: scootering again.
October 29, 2003
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Which proved to be the perfect place to see just how fast our scooters could go when maxed out. Here's me risking certain death by taking a photo of my bike overtaking Grant's at 90+ km (approx. 55mph).
european vacation part 16: scootering again.
October 29, 2003
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Worried about losing daylight, we decided to hit the road again and head for the Melidoni Caves. Here's us stopping to let a herd of goats cross the road.
european vacation part 16: scootering again.
October 29, 2003
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The four of us read this truly amazing story and reflected upon it for a few minutes...
european vacation part 16: scootering again.
October 29, 2003
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How did Megadeth manage to never write a song about this?
european vacation part 16: scootering again.
October 29, 2003
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Grant peepin' through a dougnut.
european vacation part 16: scootering again.
October 29, 2003
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The backroad route we took was amazing. There were all these tiny towns that with the exception of cars and electricty, seemed otherwise untouched by the 20th century. Check out the donkeys saddled with bags in the background.
european vacation part 16: scootering again.
October 29, 2003
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Our bellies full of warm doughnut, we hit the open road. We decided to take a 45 km backroads trip to check out the bad-ass Arkadi Monastery and then from there, if we had enough light, ride another 25 km and check out the Melidoni Caves.
european vacation part 16: scootering again.
October 29, 2003
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Grant proudly displays his can of "Master Cafe" iced coffee drink. Any time a beverage features a tractor trailer on it, you KNOW it's going to motherfucking kickstart your heart.
european vacation part 16: scootering again.
October 29, 2003
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We saddled back up on our HOGGZ and hit the road. We only managed to get about 1/4 mile when Grant, who was leading the pack, slowed down and pulled over to the side of the road hysterically laughing and pointing...
european vacation part 16: scootering again.
October 29, 2003
The pics above are sorta funny - but they do not, in ANY WAY, compare to the video. If you don't have Windows Media Player installed, this is the REASON to install it. For seriously.
european vacation part 15: relaxing.
October 28, 2003
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Grant with our fave lil' guy.
european vacation part 15: relaxing.
October 28, 2003
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Seasoned veterans at this point in the trip, we even managed to drink our raki without so much as a grimmace. Opa! Opa!
european vacation part 15: relaxing.
October 28, 2003
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After he got his laughter a bit under control, we went into the kitchen to get a chair to stand on...
european vacation part 15: relaxing.
October 28, 2003
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Here's Grant's first attempt. Not even close. And he was laughing so hard that we was afraid he was going to wake Dave up.
european vacation part 15: relaxing.
October 28, 2003
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If you look closely, you can just barely see Grant peeking out between me and Fatty.
european vacation part 15: relaxing.
October 28, 2003
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"Yep, you're right Brian. You totally do need to cut off your silly, hippy hair."
european vacation part 15: relaxing.
October 28, 2003
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...which allowed him to lean in and totally win the "who can get their nuts closest to Fatty's face" contest. Holy shit. Bravo, Grant. Bravo.
european vacation part 15: relaxing.
October 28, 2003
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...and then popped into some stores to buy some fun Cretan souvenirs for our families.
european vacation part 15: relaxing.
October 28, 2003
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Then back near the car, we goofed off and took some pictures of us on the sea wall.
european vacation part 15: relaxing.
October 28, 2003
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Then, Grant fell off his chair. (Hahah. I actually think he was kidding around and re-enacting something but I have no idea what it was).
european vacation part 15: relaxing.
October 28, 2003
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Here's where I'd like to point out that Tymber was a bit of a weirdo (just in case the bit where she "willingly made out with Grant" in the previous entry didn't tip you off). She talked a bunch about being a strict vegetarian, and then out of the blue decided that she was going to order fish for lunch. She then went on to explain that she probably would eat fish more often, but the fish in Crete was served with the heads left on and it "grossed her out." So when Kostas came over to take our order, with the help of Chris as a translator, she explained to him that she wanted fish if it was possible to have it served without the head. Chris relayed the request in his perfect Greek, and Kostas assured her it wouldn't be problem. Twenty minutes later, the fish came out sans head, just as Kostas had said. But unfortunately...
european vacation part 15: relaxing.
October 28, 2003
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We drove back into downtown Rethymnon, parked the car, and headed back over to...
european vacation part 15: relaxing.
October 28, 2003
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We got into town, parked the car and walked over to the closed club. Minutes later, true to her word, Tymber showed up right on time. We all headed back to the car, and decided, despite the threatening clouds, to head to the beach and take a swim. I dropped Tymber and Grant off at the beach across the street from our resort and went to park the car. By the time I made it back to the beach, it had began raining and I showed up just in time to catch...
european vacation part 15: relaxing.
October 28, 2003
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...of Grant giving Fatty one of the best "Wedgie Sneak Attacks" ever captured on film. AWESOME. Less awesome is the fact that I didn't manage to capture the clobbering swing he administered to Grant's leg as he painfully reacted to the friction of a yard's-worth of fabric being zipped through his ass crack.
european vacation part 15: relaxing.
October 28, 2003
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...Tymber and Grant running out of the water for shelter.
european vacation part 15: relaxing.
October 28, 2003
grant
I've never seen Grant so happy in my life.
european vacation part 14: the buddha cafe.
October 27, 2003
grant
After a few songs I gave up and headed back to our table on the sidelines to coldlamp with my boys.
european vacation part 14: the buddha cafe.
October 27, 2003
grant
Here's Fatty, Grant and Chris upon arrival - quasi-drunk from dinner and already in awe of the stupid amounts of hot Greek women. (Make sure to look at all three of their priceless expressions).
european vacation part 14: the buddha cafe.
October 27, 2003
grant
Just when we'd totally given up on interacting with females, Grant spotted a girl that we'd seen out on a previous night. He'd overheard her talking and knew she was American. So we went over and introduced ourselves. (Check out the Fatty in the background trying to sneak into the pic with a "Fatty Face").
european vacation part 14: the buddha cafe.
October 27, 2003
grant
Looky, looky! What's going on here in this picture? After Grant was done giving her the "See, aren't we fun guys?" photo review, she quickly cozied up to tha Grizza.
european vacation part 14: the buddha cafe.
October 27, 2003
grant
Throwing down for the cam.
european vacation part 14: the buddha cafe.
October 27, 2003
grant
After the girls were done telling us about their travels, Grant took Fatty's cam and gave them a run down of our trip thus far.
european vacation part 14: the buddha cafe.
October 27, 2003
grant
And before we even knew what was going on, tha Grizza'd brought her out on the dance floor! Oh snap!
european vacation part 14: the buddha cafe.
October 27, 2003
grant
Meanwhile, back at home base, Grant seemed to be making serious flirty headway with the lovely Tymber.
european vacation part 14: the buddha cafe.
October 27, 2003
grant
Me, Tymber and tha Grizza.
european vacation part 14: the buddha cafe.
October 27, 2003
grant
Yaaaaay, Amstel.
european vacation part 14: the buddha cafe.
October 27, 2003
grant
It was getting pretty late and Shelby, Tymber's roommate, seemed like she was tired and getting ready to go home. Grant sensing that Shelby was going to try to get Tymber to leave early with her, tried to get Shelby in the mix out on the dance floor in hopes that she'd stay a little longer. Check out the Fatty peeping Grant's crafty "Hey, now let's ALL dance together!" move from the sidelines. Smoooooooooth! Hahaha.
european vacation part 14: the buddha cafe.
October 27, 2003
grant
Now normally, this would've been a deal breaker for New York City Grant. But On-Vacation Grant, shrugged that shit off like a bad dream and went right back to kicking it on the dance floor.
european vacation part 14: the buddha cafe.
October 27, 2003
grant
DEEEEEEEE-NIED! Doh! Holy shit, what's better than the fact that I managed to actually capture this pic? (DAMN YOU, GARLIC BREAD!)
european vacation part 14: the buddha cafe.
October 27, 2003
grant
Pulling out moves like this and everything. Kid ain't no joke, see?
european vacation part 14: the buddha cafe.
October 27, 2003
grant
After a few minutes of dancing together, Shelby said she was leaving and Tymber announced that she was going to stick around. Crisis averted, the Grizza fixed Tymber with a smoldering stare, went in for the kiss and . . .
european vacation part 14: the buddha cafe.
October 27, 2003
grant
As well as the "Hey, it was nice to meet you too" hug. If there was audio, this is where I'd have a clip of the "I did mention I have my own TV show coming out, right?" conversation. Hehehe.
european vacation part 14: the buddha cafe.
October 27, 2003
grant
Being all sneaky with the cam from the sidelines, I also managed to capture the "Hey, I've got to get going..." chat.
european vacation part 14: the buddha cafe.
October 27, 2003
grant
This dude was hanging out for a long time waiting for Tymber to say goodbye so he could walk her home. Check out Grant in the corner trying his hardest to not let on that he's trying his hardest to listen in on what they're saying.
european vacation part 14: the buddha cafe.
October 27, 2003
grant
We got outside and after a quick "Charlie's Angels" pose for the cam, Grant and Tymber made plans to meet up out front of the club the next morning at 11am and then head to the beach together.
european vacation part 14: the buddha cafe.
October 27, 2003
grant
With the leather-panted Gunther giving us the stinkeye from across the table we took a view pictures more pics without her in the background to try to throw him off our perv trail. By the way, ever notice how stuff like Coke, ketchup and McDonalds always taste not-so-great overseas? Well with beer, it works the other way around. The beer we are drinking is Amstel. (not Amstel light, regular Amstel) Maybe it was the crisp sea breeze or the abundance of badobnkadonk butts out there but it was hands down one of the best beers I've ever had.
european vacation part 13: steak dinner.
October 27, 2003
grant
And then a group shot. HA HA HA HA. Notice in the background you can see the chick's equally-attractive German boyfriend totally catching on to what we were up too. Das gig ist up, ja?
european vacation part 13: steak dinner.
October 27, 2003
grant
The camera never lies. That's why the picture is blurred. But turn down a complimentary digestif in Greece and you might get your ass handed to you along with the check. Looks like we have some shots to drink. Oh well, here's to minimal liver damage.
european vacation part 13: steak dinner.
October 27, 2003
grant
If this little guy isn't the cutest, most adorable thing you have ever seen I don't know what is. Oh and look; he's holding a puppy.
european vacation part 13: steak dinner.
October 27, 2003