i keep a diary

a person in 660 photos in 2003

grant

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grant
Here's Grant sending me off. Goodbye California!
trip to cali part 5: back to la
December 19, 2003
grant
We said goodbye to West Coast Joey and headed back to our hotel...
trip to cali part 5: back to la
December 19, 2003
grant
DJ Grizznizzle wrapping up the party.
trip to cali part 5: back to la
December 19, 2003
grant
Grant and I with Harlan Martin! (Best picture ever).
trip to cali part 5: back to la
December 19, 2003
grant
Hard-as-Nailz Crizzew.
trip to cali part 5: back to la
December 19, 2003
grant
Me and Grant dishing some double-lovin' to the lovely Jen Ehrman.
trip to cali part 5: back to la
December 19, 2003
grant
Check that mug out - he's like Paul Fifer and Kevin Arnold rolled into one (while Grant's busy working hard to look like the fourth friggin Bee Gee).
trip to cali part 5: back to la
December 19, 2003
grant
After the surprise dinner, the whole group headed over to restaurant in LA for a second, larger party featuring all of Ross' friends and co-workers. Here's DJ Bearden Bickerstaff manning the laptop tunebox.
trip to cali part 5: back to la
December 19, 2003
grant
Here's Steve, Grant and myself posing for a pic (which was really just an excuse to try to cop a feel of the faux-Britney's vinyl-clad arse).
trip to cali part 5: back to la
December 19, 2003
grant
We got to Ross & Jord's just in time to have a lovely Hanukah dinner with Ross' parents.
trip to cali part 5: back to la
December 19, 2003
grant
After I'd finished documenting our facial hair, we headed back to the house, showered (and I shaved, thank god), packed up and hit the road to head back down to Los Angeles (to attend the surprise birthday party that Jordana had put together for him. Shhhh!).
trip to cali part 5: back to la
December 19, 2003
grant
Grant's beard was pretty manly, but I think if I had another day or two I could've outdone him.
trip to cali part 5: back to la
December 19, 2003
grant
Grant shows off the free drink token we got at the Buckhorn for leaving a tip that was 20%. When we were leaving, the bartender actually followed us outside (at first we thought "Yep, here comes that asskicking that we thought we were going to get!") to tell us that we'd left too much money on the bar. When told him we'd left that much on purpose and that it was a tip, he insisted we take a few free drink tokens. Boy, I tell you - those cowboys may have tough exteriors, but once you open 'em up and getting talking about anal, they're alright by me.
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
grant
Fatty and Grant chowing down.
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
grant
After finishing up at the Buckhorn, we drove into town and found a Japanese restuarant that was open!
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
grant
...and in no time the scary, back-country logger/cowboy sex advice was flowing like tobacco spit.
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
grant
The questions!
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
grant
But eventually we won them over with our cityboy charms
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
grant
Here's Grant nursing a couple of beers as he got up the courage to ask some of the burly men for their best tips on how to get women to have anal sex, etc.
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
grant
One of the ranch hands was kind enough to give our saddle-sore cityslicker asses a lift back from the stable to the house (saving us the embarrasment of a bowlegged walk of pain home).
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
grant
Homeward bound.
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
grant
Yay.
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
grant
Attempt number two. This time from a much safer distance.
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
grant
This was amazing! Grant leaned over to pose with the ranch's old, ornery, one-eyed buffalo, and while Grant was leaning over, the buffalo got all angry and rammed the cage right next to Grant's head - scaring the living shit out of both of us. (See how the photos all blurry? It's because I was jumping and yelling when the shutter clicked. Hahah).
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
grant
Fatty opening the gate next to the hoofguard on the ride back home.
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
grant
Okay, I'm running out of things to say in these captions so just relax and enjoy the pics.
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
grant
Hahah.
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
grant
Grant in the sun.
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
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Bearded cowboy.
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
grant
Grant holding my horse for me while I dismounted to open the gate next to the hoof guard so that we could move on to a different area of the ranch.
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
grant
Heading towards the open trails.
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
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Grant and the Fatty on theirs. Now, one thing to keep in mind - the horses we were riding weren't wimpy petting zoo horses that have been ridden by hundreds of people. These horses were broken, but don't get ridden all that often - and when they do get ridden, they're ridden by real cowboys who know how to handle them. So in the beginning, we each had to spend quite a bit of time with our horses pretending like we knew how to act like we were in charge.
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
grant
Bee Gee Cowboy.
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
grant
...and here's the Fatty and Grant.
trip to cali part 4: the circle w ranch
December 18, 2003
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Grant and Fatty.
trip to cali part 3: sf to northfork
December 15, 2003
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After food we went back to the ranch and relaxed. Then later that night we drove to the nearest theater (like 45 minutes away) to see the midnight showing of the third installment of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. (Bonus points to Grant for flipping the bird while pulling a Pomodoro Guy face! Noice!).
trip to cali part 3: sf to northfork
December 15, 2003
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We got to North Fork and met up with Fatty and Grant's good friend Aaron Schmidt who had driven up from San Diego to visit with his boys. We dropped our stuff off at the ranch house and by the time we'd driven back into town (around 10pm, mind you) the only place open that was serving food was McDonalds (where the heat wasn't working). Here's us with Aaron "Double A" Schmidt eating and freezing.
trip to cali part 3: sf to northfork
December 15, 2003
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After a restful night of sleep at Uncle Ira's, we woke on Monday to do some quick exploring of San Fran before starting the four and a half hour drive out to the ranch in North Fork.
trip to cali part 3: sf to northfork
December 15, 2003
grant
Hahaha. So funny. Clockwise from the Grizza: Fatty, Jamye, Al, me and Uncle Ira.
trip to cali part two: la to san francisco
December 13, 2003
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After dinner Grant modeled his new "if the Bee Gees were mountain-men" beard...
trip to cali part two: la to san francisco
December 13, 2003
grant
Here's Grant and I in Ira's kitchen. We were all crabby from our drive and if I remember correctly were pretty much ready to fight each other (I'd SOOOO win) when this mutual "get a load of this fuggin' guy" photo was taken.
trip to cali part two: la to san francisco
December 13, 2003
grant
After getting settled in at Uncle Ira's, we all headed to downtown SF to meet up with some friends (my friend Alysha, Jamie Waxman, who we know from NYC, and one of Jordana's good friends from school) and have some Thai food.
trip to cali part two: la to san francisco
December 13, 2003
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Here's Grant enrapturing the crowd with the tale of how he stole his trucker hat from an irate cowboy.
trip to cali part two: la to san francisco
December 13, 2003
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Grant and I got to the party around 1am and found most of the party in, as they say, "full-effect." Here's Grant looking slightly scared of Laura and Tavis (who after years in Los Angeles were both moving back to their native Toronto in two days!).
trip to cali part two: la to san francisco
December 13, 2003
grant
Sweet Maria, look at that payload! Grant masks up to protect himself from Dash: Poo Terrorist. Grant ended up having to use the better part of a box of baby wipes, while I played the part of the bad friend who took pics from a safe sideline distance.
trip to cali part two: la to san francisco
December 13, 2003
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I waited with my camera poised as Grant took off Dash's diaper to investigate and managed to catch this primo shot of him dry-heaving.
trip to cali part two: la to san francisco
December 13, 2003
grant
Later that evening, Jord and Ross went to a friend's birthday party and we stuck around to babyshit Dash. Dash, who'd been feeling a bit under the weather for the past few days, figured (after eating a fist fulla Cheetos, no less) that this would be the perfect time to get...
trip to cali part two: la to san francisco
December 13, 2003
grant
Boy, I'll tell you; nothing works up an appetite like shitty diapers! After Jord and Ross and home, Grant and I rushed off to get our In N Out Burger on. (If you remember correctly, I was introduced to the delicious In N Out phenomenon by LA transplant Kate Hill (but, you know, that was back before she went crazy and stopped talking to me).
trip to cali part two: la to san francisco
December 13, 2003
grant
After dropping off Charlene, we met up with Jordana and Dash to get some brunch. Here's Grant and I kidsitting while Jord's out looking for parking. (And yet again, check out Dash with his amazingly cute "Whatchoo talking 'bout, Willis" look.
trip to cali part two: la to san francisco
December 13, 2003
grant
I've got your eye! I've got your eye!
trip to cali part two: la to san francisco
December 13, 2003
grant
After brunch, Grant and I met up with Pappa Ross and took Dash for a stroll down the the boardwalk at Santa Monica (I think).
trip to cali part two: la to san francisco
December 13, 2003
grant
Peekaboo.
trip to cali part two: la to san francisco
December 13, 2003
grant
I was trying to take a photo of Grant biting the giant "Randy's Donuts" sign but right at the last minute, this big truck came into the pic almost blocking at I had to yell "Go high! Go high!" to even get the Donut in the pic. Mmmmm. Donuts.
trip to cali part two: la to san francisco
December 13, 2003
grant
We got her there just in time for her to catch her flight. Here's Charlene saying goodbye with her patented "I'm not going to cry" goodbye.
trip to cali part two: la to san francisco
December 13, 2003
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Hahahaha.
trip to cali part 1: nyc to la
December 10, 2003
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After leaving VH1, Ross, Grant, Charlene and I headed back to Casa de Martin and Dashielle and Grant were reunited (to make that "Whatchoo talking about, Willis" face).
trip to cali part 1: nyc to la
December 10, 2003
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Brian Wahlund (one of the producers of the show) and Grant. (PS - Check out Grant's beard! He'd been living on the ranch for a few weeks and decided to grow a mountain man beard).
trip to cali part 1: nyc to la
December 10, 2003
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Friday night the three of us went out to The Short Stop in West Hollywood Echo Park...
trip to cali part 1: nyc to la
December 10, 2003
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After the museum, I drove back to VH1's production offices to meet up with Ross, Grant and Charlene. Grant had been up at Jordana & Ross' ranch house in northern California working on a book and Charlene was out from London visiting him. He had to come back down to do some voice-over work for his pilot.
trip to cali part 1: nyc to la
December 10, 2003
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...Grant Stoddard.
trip to cali part 1: nyc to la
December 10, 2003
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"I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me so hard."
em and lo's book reading
November 25, 2003
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After the performance, we were treated to the video version of Grant dressing up as a woman for his "I Did it For Science" column.
em and lo's book reading
November 25, 2003
grant
Check out the morning-after hickey damage compliments of Hoover Sharkey. Happy Birthday Grant!
grant's surprise party
November 07, 2003
grant
Special guest star Sarah! (who was at Grant's 2002 bday outing).
grant's surprise party
November 07, 2003
grant
Grant and the Vin.
grant's surprise party
November 07, 2003
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Traumatized onlookers.
grant's surprise party
November 07, 2003
grant
At first you thought that this photo was repetitive and not worth including...and then you looked again and noticed Fatty's ridiculous expression in the background and suddenly everything made sense.
grant's surprise party
November 07, 2003
grant
It's the party-equivilent of a possum playing dead.
grant's surprise party
November 07, 2003
grant
When you get cornered like this, there's nothing you can do but play along and pretend your totally riveted by what they're saying.
grant's surprise party
November 07, 2003
grant
Jamie Kirkpatrick brough some delicious birthday Pocky! (For those of you not in tha know, Pocky is a brand of all these different flavored cracker sticks that are usually dipped in something delightful. Grant's shown holding the mint-chocolate variety here).
grant's surprise party
November 07, 2003
grant
Haase, while Grant and the Fatty do their best impersonations of the shaved headed wunderkind. HA ha ha ha.
grant's surprise party
November 07, 2003
grant
Mark Wholley even came all the way down from Rhode Island! (Ok, maybe he was actually in town for something else, but we can pretend that he's the best guy ever, right?)
grant's surprise party
November 07, 2003
grant
Steve Haase literally has to back people into the corner so they can't escape him.
grant's surprise party
November 07, 2003
grant
Chris, the Vin, and Emily.
grant's surprise party
November 07, 2003
grant
Emily, Sarah's eye (I'm not allowed to call her Sunny YouKnowWhat anymore), G and Abby.
grant's surprise party
November 07, 2003
grant
Grant shows off Lorelei's present: a birthday hickey.
grant's surprise party
November 07, 2003
grant
After 24 minutes of non-stop, drunken verbal assult, Haase finally came up for air (or more likely went to get another drink). Emily rushed in to box him out and save the birthday boy (check out Grant trying to hide from Haase behind her. Hahahaha).
grant's surprise party
November 07, 2003
grant
We got to the bar almost on time only to discover that the entire front of the bar is one big plate-glass window - which sorta ruined the surprise factor. So as soon as Grant passed the window, the jig was up. Here's Zara, Grant, Lo and Jordana (who came was in town from LA visiting her in-laws in the deerrrrrrty Jerz).
grant's surprise party
November 07, 2003
grant
Bwa-hahahahaha. Grant recalls his birthday present from last year. Sweet and innocent lil' Caitlin's not so sweet and innocent. Truth.
grant's surprise party
November 07, 2003
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Jen and Grant.
grant's surprise party
November 07, 2003
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Then the birthday boy gave it a shot. Hahahaha.
grant's surprise party
November 07, 2003
grant
And there was even a surprise visit from our good friend...shit, what's this guy's name again? I can't even remember. Seriously, if you read this David Forman, you're a dick. A big, not-returning-my-phone-calls dick. Last time this kid talked to me was to ask me to help him with his video Valentine's Day gift...which I spent like five hours on. Haven't heard a peep from him since. Dick, dick, dick. Holy Jesus Marymotherofgod, what a dick. (I still love you, though. So for fuck's sake call me if you see this, shitcock. Ok?)
grant's surprise party
November 07, 2003
grant
Now it's time for the Grant posing with people at the party pictures! Lorelei, Jordana, Jenny, Joey and Jen. (Holy Js, right?)
grant's surprise party
November 07, 2003
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Me, Mr. and Mrs. Jamie Kijowski and Grizza.
grant's surprise party
November 07, 2003
grant
Hahahaha.
grant's surprise party
November 07, 2003
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John Craven, Fatty, Chris and myself met up with Grant for a lil' birthday dinner at Cafe Gitane in Soho.
grant's surprise party
November 07, 2003
grant
As you can tell by his face in this photo, Grant knew something was up. Emma and Lo called as planned, but dinner was taking too long. As I kept trying to rush things along, Grant kept saying things like "Why the rush? Why are we in such a hurry?" All smarmy-like.
grant's surprise party
November 07, 2003
grant
Is it just me or does Fatty look like a ten year-old wearing Gene Wilder's Mr. Wonka wig from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?
grant's surprise party
November 07, 2003
grant
With one final pic of the fantasic four, we said goodbye to Grant (who was staying behind in London for another couple of days) and....
european vacation part 21: heading home!
November 01, 2003
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But not before gratuitious man-hugs were administered by the Fatty.
european vacation part 21: heading home!
November 01, 2003
grant
So a few minutes later, G and I are sitting in Burger King kicking it with a coupla Whoppers, and this girl with a really great bum walks by. As soon as she'd passed, Grant was like "Get your camera ready! I want to show you what I'd like to do to that chick's ass." And thus came about my new all-time favorite pic of the Man, the legend, the King of Tee-Effing Ass, Grant "Pow, Howdaya Like Me Now" Stoddard.
european vacation part 21: heading home!
November 01, 2003
grant
And here's the same thing with no flash. Hahaha.
european vacation part 21: heading home!
November 01, 2003
grant
With our time together disappering almost as fast as our delicious french fries, Grant gives me a "Be brave with out me" thumbs up.
european vacation part 21: heading home!
November 01, 2003
grant
With some time to kill before the three of us headed to the gate, we decided to take funny pics with Grant. Here's a stop-flash shot of him shaking his head as fast as he can.
european vacation part 21: heading home!
November 01, 2003
grant
Shuttlebus from the rental car drop-off to the terminal.
european vacation part 21: heading home!
November 01, 2003
grant
Saturday morning we woke up, double checked our packed bags, thanked Grant's parents for their hospitality, and hit the road for Heathrow.
european vacation part 21: heading home!
November 01, 2003
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Saturday, Chris was in town and the four of us got together for brunch at 9th Street Market to reminisce about our recent hijinx in Europe.
the november roundup
November, 2003
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During brunch, we pretty much had Grant convinced that the "Jackaloupe" head (half jack rabbit, half anteloupe) mounted on the wall was real. So great (but not nearly as great as his Trogdor the Burninator shirt. Awww, yeah).
the november roundup
November, 2003
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On Wednesday Grant came back from London (he stayed behind to hang with his parents after our vacation ended, remember?) and was going to be in NYC for a few days (one of which we threw him a surprise party) before heading back to Los Angeles to do some final work oh his television pilot (nope, so not kidding). That night Fatty, (the rarely photographed) Michael Martin and myself all met up with Grant at the nearby Congee Village for some tasty dinner.
the november roundup
November, 2003
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On Sunday, Grant and I took the train out to NJ to visit our friend Jordana who was on the east coast visiting her in-laws. Jordana is married to our friend Ross (who is the guy producing Grant's TV pilot out in LA). Grant had been living with Ross & Jord out in LA for the last few months and was getting ready to fly back out there the next day. Wow, that was a pretty long explanation considering that my camera died and I didn't end up even getting any pictures of Jordana or the delicious Japanese meal we ate. I did manage to get a photo of Grant posing with the dozen delicious Krispy Kreme doughnuts we bought at Penn Station, tho.
the november roundup
November, 2003