Next thing we knew we had a new best friend. (A best friend who, incidentally, liked to lift up his shirt and smack his belly loudly and repeatedly after each drink). Pauly can't believe it!
Mike Max is the band's drummer and he was going for it so hard. Drinking an entire beer THROUGH your own shirt that you've pulled up over your face on the dance floor is NEXT LEVEL SHIT.
This photo makes me laugh out loud every time I see it. Soooo good. (Bonus points to Jessica for finger-pointing like a professional wrestler from the 80s. Yes!)
It was afterhours at this point, but since it was a real quiet night, the bartender told us we could hang for a bit and he locked the place up. This guy was the only other place in the bar so we agreed to play some Big Buck together.
I also love how the whole time all this nugget-eating is going on, Leigh's calling and texting people in Jenny's phone at 4:40am trying to figure out where her apartment is.
Turns out that these were plates from the buffet at the MSG after party. Jenny had taken a whole bunch of food from the buffet, put it between two glass plates, wrapped it in a napkin and put it in her purse. But the napkin had come undone...
Fatty even showed up trashed out of his mind with a bunch of his co-workers! One of them passed out on the infamous couch in the back. (The site of 2004's infamous "Drunk Guy Jenga") And despite her being one of Fatty's co-workers, rules are rules. If you pass out in public, it probably means that...
We left the party and by the time we got back out on the street both my brother and Sid had finished their bottles of Night Train. (The next day while we were looking at all these photos my brother got to this one and said "Yep, finishing that bottle of Night Train and posing for this photo is pretty much the last thing I remember." Hahaha. At the next party we met...
On the way over, we stopped in a liquor store where my brother and Sid, despite my repeated warnings, decided to try Night Train Express (the very finest of fortified bum wines) for the very first time. I was like "Yo, Guns N' Roses even wrote a song about how that shit's even too hardcore for them...do you know how hardcore that is?" At first they laughed at me, but then they started to understand that I wasn't joking around when the toothless 60-year old man at the register who had tattoos on his face looked at them increduously and said "Night Train? Are you sure you want to do that, guys? Wow." For a minute I thought they were going to back out - I mean shrugging off Axl Rose's warning is one thing, but to ignore the tattooed-face check-out guy? That's crazy. But in the end, they put their money on the counter. The checkout guy just kept shaking his head as he bagged them up and as we left the he called out "Good luck!" Hahaha.
After screaming along incoherently into an extra mic during the first half of this couple's duet, homeboy in the green shirt finally managed to wrangle away Shef's mic and hide it on him. Unfazed, Shef decided to make up for his lack of mic by just singing even louder for the remainder of their song.
And then suddenly, the shots got the better of Leila and she started getting all fresh with Ed - tugging at his luggage and whatnot (The momentary look on confusion on Ed's face as he tried to figure out if she kidding around or not quickly turned to indifference as he realized "Hey, either way some cute chick's tugging at my carrot.") Then, just as Leila was about to give Ed some full-on mouth kissing, Chira shut things down with a strategically placed hand.
So it was around this time that we noticed these two (aka - "The Greatest Couple in the World."). He was completely shit-hammered; to the point where his head was all bobbing around like we was on a fucking wagonride on a cobblestone street. And she (as if her matching aqua skirt-outfit wasn't enough) had the biggest belly button jewelry thing I've ever seen. I mean look at that thing - it's like the J-Lo engagement ring of bellybuttons. Anyway, she was really drunk and kept heckling people in between songs, yelling that it was her turn already....we'll get back to these guys later.
Seth was kind enough to offer me a sip of his water as a chaser. Only after a I swallowed did I realize his "water" was actually a glass of vodka with just a little bit of ice. A real prince among men, I tell ya.
Bwa-hahahaha! Here's Grant surreptitiously giving Alex the ol' "Get a Load of This Guy" face for the cam. (Bonus points to the guy over Grant's right shoulder laying down the double-ironic "Who does this guy think he is making fun of that other guy" face. Ha!)
And then the next thing you know he's quasi-passed out (check out the open mouth - noice!) on Nerve intern Noa, who tried to resuscitate him with a firm grab of his titty.
I call this photo "Birthday Boy, 5:42am." If you listen very carefully while looking at this picture, you can actually hear him groaning. (PS - Is that a velour shirt you're wearing, Scott?)
Look at that smile, think Russ has had a few? Brave soul that he is, he starts chatting up her friend too. "Why yes, you're legs are smooth." Priceless.
No stranger to whipping out my own bag, I handed over the camera and teamed up with Grant for this amazing photo. (Look at our faces!!! nd bonus points to me for actually resting my nuts on the guys chair.)
See that girl in the purple tank top? I asked her what kind of beads she was wearing and she told me they were Mardi Gras beads, so I started chanting "Show Yer Tits! Show Yer Tits!" Which she did, but my camera went off too early. Sorry, I got excited! (PS - Look at Kenny lending a "helping hand" in lifting up her shirt)
When Kenny's not working (at his job where he impersonates "Doug" from "King of Queens"), he's busying wooing the beautiful (and tan, did I say tan?) ladies of the Jizzersey Shizzore.
Hey, it's not really a night of jerseyshoredrinking unless somebody tries to kick YOUR FUCKING FAGGOT ASS!!! This guy proudly displays his ripped shirt. (Bonus points to his friend for making that face. Ha!).
Right when I got off the highway and into Boston, I called Kate to ask where I should meet her. Answering the phone, she barely managed to slur a hello. Turns out a few hours earlier, she had been trying to light a match without removing it from the matchbook (kids, let this be a lesson) and the whole book ignited burning her hand pretty badly. She and her roommate Erin promptly headed to the bar across the street to try to ease the pain. By the time I showed up - she was definitely no longer feeling any pain. Here's Kate right after we got back to her place.
On the way home from Cherry Tavern, a well liquored Josh Teixeira took it upon himself to start attacking people Wolverine-style with a discarded Xmas tree he found lying on the side walk.
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