i keep a diary

a thing in 366 photos

drunk

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drunk
...clearly the LBJ (that's the Little Baby Jesus to you) had heard our prayers and made this drunk girl pass out on the pavement right outside of the party so we could document my last evening in town with some apropo fanfare! (Thanks for looking out for us, Big Guy).
last night in nyc
August 28, 2004
drunk
But Emily wasn't having any of that.
doug visits town
August 22, 2004
drunk
Birthday girl closing out the night with the second to last song.
karaoke at amy's friend's birthday party
August 06, 2004
drunk
Neil (who, just so you know, is the current Nugget Eating Champ of the World) leans in to check out to what degree the guy is passed out. Verdict: Out Fucking Cold.
fatty's birthday and drunk guy jenga
July 31, 2004
drunk
Ok, ok. I'm sure all of you have probably seen all these photos already either on the Misshapes site or back when it appeared in Vice, but for any of you who may not have see it, here's the story: I was texting with Dennis Crowley's little brother Jonathan on Saturday night and I invited him and his buddy Neil to Misshapes. They showed up late night and after vetoing the too-packed dance floor upstairs, we decided to hang in the back room downstairs where we discovered this sleeping prince.
fatty's birthday and drunk guy jenga
July 31, 2004
drunk
Jonathan went for ye olde white ass in the face.
fatty's birthday and drunk guy jenga
July 31, 2004
drunk
Sticking to tradition, J.Cro and I started going head to head to see who could take the best (read: most embarrassing) picture.
fatty's birthday and drunk guy jenga
July 31, 2004
drunk
Awwww! Whoever said that champagne would help your headache is a liar! Happy Birthday Tins!
leigh's birthday parties
July 24, 2004
drunk
...NEON CHARIOT of military might! We all sang songs...
frank picarazzi's bachelor party
July 08, 2004
drunk
After screaming along incoherently into an extra mic during the first half of this couple's duet, homeboy in the green shirt finally managed to wrangle away Shef's mic and hide it on him. Unfazed, Shef decided to make up for his lack of mic by just singing even louder for the remainder of their song.
frank picarazzi's bachelor party
July 08, 2004
drunk
Scott offered him a smoke (he heard that helps with jaundice).
the july roundup: part one
July, 2004
drunk
And then Rebecca offered a kiss. And then Grant, bless his heart, offered him the best thing you can offer a drunk, passed out person...
the july roundup: part one
July, 2004
drunk
...someone that passed out! Yes!
the july roundup: part one
July, 2004
drunk
FLYING BRAIN!
the july roundup: part one
July, 2004
drunk
...his nutsack! Wooo! Let's hear it for the return of Wally Weirdnuts!
the july roundup: part one
July, 2004
drunk
The guy was so drunk he couldn't even tell us his name. Sarah thought he was cute and kept suggesting that she take him back to her place. Hahahaha. Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure!
the july roundup: part one
July, 2004
drunk
In the end, I ended up fishing his wallet out of his pants and looking up his name and address (if memory serves correctly, I think his name was Brice or something like that). Here's Tinny holding his phone to his ear as we took turns calling people in his phone trying to get someone who knew him to confirm his address so we could put him in a cab. (In the end, we were never able to confirm where he lived so we sat him down outside with a bottle of water and went back inside. When I came out an hour later, he was passed out and had pissed his pants and we ended up calling the cops who sent an ambulance for him. Doh!) Anybody know who this guy is?
the july roundup: part one
July, 2004
drunk
Later that evening, I was standing next to the DJ booth chatting with Sarah when all of a sudden a guy standing next to me full-on passed out while standing up and went down like a bag o' bricks. The bouncer summoned me to help him carry the guy outside and somewhere in the process of trying to lift him up, his pants came down exposing...
the july roundup: part one
July, 2004
drunk
...his (kiwi!) underwear.
the july roundup: part one
July, 2004
drunk
Karen (enjoying the nameplate from her cake) and her roommate Bridgette - who had just turned up from a comedy show she performs in.
brunch and karens 23rd birthday party at misshapes
June 26, 2004
drunk
Another high-schooler who's been partying out of his league.
the misshapes prom party
June 13, 2004
drunk
Meanwhile, over in the DJ booth...
the misshapes prom party
June 13, 2004
drunk
Gay boy kissing a girl! Gay boy kissing a girl!
the misshapes prom party
June 13, 2004
drunk
...Leigh was attacking Geordon.
the misshapes prom party
June 13, 2004
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...chilling on the pavement.
trash at don hill's
May 30, 2004
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"Rad! Hey, let's try to see if he can throw up with me in the picture!" Now that's a lady.
trash at don hill's
May 30, 2004
drunk
Just taking a little nappy nap.
trash at don hill's
May 30, 2004
drunk
Before we left, Leigh made sure she invited Dave to Misshapes - because, in her words "he just seems like our kind of people."
trash at don hill's
May 30, 2004
drunk
We waited through another few minutes of gagging and gurgling, but there was still no "big payoff" like before.
trash at don hill's
May 30, 2004
drunk
That little puddle you see isn't puke, it's actually just saliva (ok, maybe a little puke). This kid was putting his whole frigging hand down his throat and nothing was coming up. If he ever decides to give up his career as a binge drinker, there's clearly a place for him in gay porn.
trash at don hill's
May 30, 2004
drunk
"Ok, ready?"
trash at don hill's
May 30, 2004
drunk
When I went outside to look for Vin, I ran into these two guys (I forget their names, but I have an email from him somewhere that I can dig up and I'll put them in there when I find it). The guy on the right was really drunk and said that he needed to throw up, but couldn't. I suggested he try putting his fingers down his throat and "pull his trigger." He was like "Ok, I'll try it. Get your camera ready." (Like I needed to be told, right?)
trash at don hill's
May 30, 2004
drunk
"GO!" Look at his hand! Oh, wait you can't - the whole thing's in his mouth.
trash at don hill's
May 30, 2004
drunk
Ewwww.
trash at don hill's
May 30, 2004
drunk
Fatty and Miriam. Right around this point in the night - they turned the music off. Yep, we closed out three different Boston establishments.
seth's surprise party part two karaoke and afterhours
March 13, 2004
drunk
Well, um, it's not. Grant managed about 3 spins before he lost his balance and sent Amber careening into the stage. (Which, because I knew was coming, I was able to masterfully capture with my camera).
fatty quits and two karaoke nights
March 01, 2004
drunk
And hey, no book party would be complete without a fifteen-person grand finale version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
em and lo's book release party
February 16, 2004
drunk
But that's ok, I think this photo pretty much says the same thing anyway..
em and lo's book release party
February 16, 2004
drunk
And then Jen took here shirt off? (I don't even remember what was going on here. I was too busy praying that my batteries wouldn't die before things got more interesting).
new year's eve
December 31, 2003
drunk
Bwa-ahahahaha. Drunk people in hammock = Disaster always.
new year's eve
December 31, 2003
drunk
Add a little Liz to tha mix and the next thing you know...
new year's eve
December 31, 2003
drunk
Oh, snap. The Fatty getting his New Year's smooch on.
new year's eve
December 31, 2003
drunk
Fatty and Jen were being all nawdy with each other.
new year's eve
December 31, 2003
drunk
The Trouble Twins strike again.
a karaoke christmas
December 22, 2003
drunk
A cute drunk girl will only go unnoticed for so long before some enterprising young lad will sneak in there....
back to back sid & buddy karaoke
November 19, 2003
drunk
And then suddenly, the shots got the better of Leila and she started getting all fresh with Ed - tugging at his luggage and whatnot (The momentary look on confusion on Ed's face as he tried to figure out if she kidding around or not quickly turned to indifference as he realized "Hey, either way some cute chick's tugging at my carrot.") Then, just as Leila was about to give Ed some full-on mouth kissing, Chira shut things down with a strategically placed hand.
back to back sid & buddy karaoke
November 19, 2003
drunk
As people started passing out all around us, we decided it was probalby best to pack it up and call it a night. We'd made it through the night without anyone even trying to pick a fight and figured it'd be best to quit while we were ahead.
european vacation part 20: halloween in bas vegas, baby!
October 31, 2003
drunk
Dani and the Fatty (who, by the looks of this photo, has had a few drinks).
european vacation part 20: halloween in bas vegas, baby!
October 31, 2003
drunk
Here's Steve, Charlene, Chris, Dani, Grant and the Fatty out on near the dancefloor and visibly liquored up at this point.
european vacation part 20: halloween in bas vegas, baby!
October 31, 2003
drunk
Throwing down for the cam.
european vacation part 14: the buddha cafe.
October 27, 2003
drunk
The less photogenic he becomes. This one is definitely not J. Date material.
european vacation part 13: steak dinner.
October 27, 2003
drunk
The thing is, the drunker he get and the more pictures he takes. . .
european vacation part 13: steak dinner.
October 27, 2003
drunk
When Fatty has had a little too much too drink, he starts taking self portraits.
european vacation part 13: steak dinner.
October 27, 2003
drunk
And concentrated on not puking all over the platform while I waited for the train. Oooof.
visiting sammy out in hoboken
September 27, 2003
drunk
Grant wasted no time moving in with his nuts.
karaoke blowout
September 21, 2003
drunk
That's right! It means it's time to play "FUCK WITH THE DRUNK GUY!" Emily kicked it off with a lil' boob showing.
karaoke blowout
September 21, 2003
drunk
So Bellybutton Jewelry Girl went to the bathroom, and while she was gone, her boyfriend passed out...we all know what that means!!!
karaoke blowout
September 21, 2003
drunk
So it was around this time that we noticed these two (aka - "The Greatest Couple in the World."). He was completely shit-hammered; to the point where his head was all bobbing around like we was on a fucking wagonride on a cobblestone street. And she (as if her matching aqua skirt-outfit wasn't enough) had the biggest belly button jewelry thing I've ever seen. I mean look at that thing - it's like the J-Lo engagement ring of bellybuttons. Anyway, she was really drunk and kept heckling people in between songs, yelling that it was her turn already....we'll get back to these guys later.
karaoke blowout
September 21, 2003
drunk
While we were standing around shooting the shit with Tracy, all of a sudden this girl busted out onto the dance floor with the strap from her giant "fashion purse" pulled over her face and just started freaking the fuck out. After watching her do her thing (maybe it was performance art?) for a few minutes, we decided it was time to head out.
the september roundup part one
September, 2003
drunk
Shortly after, Viola and her crew took off (probably becaues the likes of us were getting let into the place). Grant ordered another steep G&T in preparation for the much more difficult task of trying the same lines on girls that he's never lived with.
pick up lines at the ford modeling party
August 13, 2003
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Me eating the ice cream I got at 7 Eleven. Look at my fucking wonky eyes! This was the drunkest I'd been in years. Oooof.
boys weekend in newport part three: saturday night
August 01, 2003
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When Frank started dancing on the bar, we knew it was time to head home.
boys weekend in newport part three: saturday night
August 01, 2003
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But we weren't ready to go home just yet...we stopped at 7Eleven to stock up on treats. Aw yeah, Bert.
boys weekend in newport part three: saturday night
August 01, 2003
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But man oh, man. My drunk-as-fuck face has got nothing on Fatty's drunk face. Check out his eyes! Hahahaha.
boys weekend in newport part three: saturday night
August 01, 2003
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Then the bartender, Frank, Colin and Seth sang the theme song to "The Jeffersons" (movin' on up...) in four-part harmony.
boys weekend in newport part three: saturday night
August 01, 2003
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So somewhere around this time, I started spitting on my friends. Well, more like spitting on my hand and throwing it at them. I don't know, it seemed funny at the time. Needless to say, people weren't happy with me. After realizing that I'd been an asshole, I apologized and Seth opened his arms for a hug. Little did I know, it was a set up: while I was hugging Seth, Grant snuck up behind me and poured his beer down my shirt (while Fatty, privy to the plan, waited in the wings with the camera. Bastards).
boys weekend in newport part three: saturday night
August 01, 2003
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Seth was kind enough to offer me a sip of his water as a chaser. Only after a I swallowed did I realize his "water" was actually a glass of vodka with just a little bit of ice. A real prince among men, I tell ya.
boys weekend in newport part three: saturday night
August 01, 2003
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...put them down. Hoo-ah. *Blech* *Gurgle* *Sputter* Check out Jagermeister suddenly transforming me into Dobby from Harry Potter. Jesus.
boys weekend in newport part three: saturday night
August 01, 2003
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We headed out to some restaurant on the water of dinner and some drinks. Yay, drinks!
boys weekend in newport part three: saturday night
August 01, 2003
drunk
Tavis holds back an increasingly beligerent Special Sos in the elevator on the way up to the pool. Hahaha.
bidness in los angeles
July 24, 2003
drunk
The roof pool was closed, and not even the smoothest of negotiations from the ladies ("What if we swim naked...and we let you watch?") could convince the staff up there otherwise. So we headed back down to my room, for more drinking...
bidness in los angeles
July 24, 2003
drunk
...and an acrobatics show.
bidness in los angeles
July 24, 2003
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What sums up how the world feels about boner-guy better than my man's face in the yellow shirt? Exactly. (By the way, check out his fucking shiny, tinfoil-looking shirt. A-hole.)
the hole and p diddy
June 25, 2003
drunk
We sang some songs and Jen got really drunk. I mean, really, really drunk. Check out that expression! (Holy best pic ever, right?)
the june roundup
June, 2003
drunk
...who were clearly wasted outta their tits already when we showed up.
emily visits nyc
May 29, 2003
drunk
Ummm....yeah.
emily visits nyc
May 29, 2003
drunk
Jack Wright finds himself on the business end of two-girl head-scratch.
emma's 30th birthday: part two
May 21, 2003
drunk
...complete with shirtless-man action! (Now that's a par-tay!)
sid & buddy karaoke
May 19, 2003
drunk
Making new friends through the universal language of music.
lorelei's 31st birthday
April 08, 2003
drunk
Back at the party Emma started tying one on...
saturday night out
April 04, 2003
drunk
EarlyTimes inhibits rational behavior almost as well as it strips paint from cars.
saturday night out
April 04, 2003
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Is there anything worse than getting so drunk that you can only incoherrently babble? Apparently, yes. It's when your friends pretend to engage you in conversation just so they can make fun of how drunk you are to the camera.
spun movie premiere party
March 06, 2003
drunk
Check out Josh pulling the best "drunk grumpy face" since he passed out standing up against a wall while waiting in line for the bathroom this past Halloween.
sweet ups karaoke
March 04, 2003
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Tiff and yet another C&V. Ooomph.
tiffany's birthday
March 01, 2003
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Tiff was ploughing through cranberry & vodkas like nobody's bidness.
tiffany's birthday
March 01, 2003
drunk
Here's Alex being propped up on the dancefloor Weekend At Bernie's style. HAHAHAHAHAHA!
nerve and spring streets' holiday party
January 16, 2003
drunk
So a few minutes after Alex made out with Noah, we noticed him hanging around Lisa - yet another intern. *gasp*
nerve and spring streets' holiday party
January 16, 2003
drunk
Bwa-hahahaha! Here's Grant surreptitiously giving Alex the ol' "Get a Load of This Guy" face for the cam. (Bonus points to the guy over Grant's right shoulder laying down the double-ironic "Who does this guy think he is making fun of that other guy" face. Ha!)
nerve and spring streets' holiday party
January 16, 2003
drunk
Well, the titty grab not only awoke Alex, apparently it also excited him. Uh-oh!
nerve and spring streets' holiday party
January 16, 2003
drunk
And then the next thing you know he's quasi-passed out (check out the open mouth - noice!) on Nerve intern Noa, who tried to resuscitate him with a firm grab of his titty.
nerve and spring streets' holiday party
January 16, 2003
drunk
Tah-tah-toasted!
nerve and spring streets' holiday party
January 16, 2003
drunk
And then the next thing you know...*BWA-HA-HA!* Alex M: Makeout Bandit!
nerve and spring streets' holiday party
January 16, 2003
drunk
Oh yeah! Action shot!
nerve and spring streets' holiday party
January 16, 2003
drunk
03.17.03 Update: I had to remove Alex's last name off the page because, just as I predicted, some of our clients started Googling his name and when this very page came up as the first result in that search, they were, in Alex's words "not overly impressed by what they found." Hehehe.

This is Alex. Alex is normally a pretty quiet guy - throw a few drinks into the mix (ok, in Alex's defense the bar was handing out four-finger deep tumbler glasses filled with straight vodka) and the next thing you know he's throwing down Jodeci faces for the cam.
nerve and spring streets' holiday party
January 16, 2003
drunk
...you're crosstown on the Bowery splattering your own shoes with vomit.
grant gets wasted
December 01, 2002
drunk
But Frank said it best: "That's life." You just gotta pick yourself up and get back in the race.
grant gets wasted
December 01, 2002
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...er, sort of. Upon closer examination I realized that he while he was holding a cigarette and even putting it in his mouth and puffing purposely, he wasn't inhaling any of the smoke. When I teased him, he goes "I've never smoked a cigarette in my life."
grant gets wasted
December 01, 2002
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Grant and Sarah.
grant gets wasted
December 01, 2002
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Me: "Oh, really? Why don't you try inhaling?"
Grant, drunkenly: "Ok!"
grant gets wasted
December 01, 2002
drunk
I call this photo "Birthday Boy, 5:42am." If you listen very carefully while looking at this picture, you can actually hear him groaning. (PS - Is that a velour shirt you're wearing, Scott?)
scott's 27th birthday
October 26, 2002