With the coziness factor now taken care of, it was time to start giving out presents! Someone would put on the Santa hat and then give out 1 gift to each person. After everyone had gotten 1 gift, the Santa hat would be passed on and the new Santa would pick out 1 gift for everyone. It was so much fun! Ok, onto the gifts (I'll go fast because there were sooooo many gifts...and I hardly remember who gave what to whom!).
"Oh, hi there girl I just met! May I nuzzle your bubbies?" (PS - Check out Frank in the background looking for a woman to womanize). We ended up closing the place out and when we left around 3:30, we did the usual.
Check out our scary eyes: They're glowing ike the metal on the edge of a knife. (Too bad I just realized I made that same joke about singing the same song almost 5 years ago. Jeez, maybe it's time I started picking out some new karaoke jams).
So I'm sitting home, minding my business (aka - probably dorking out on xBox) and I get a text from Gurj: "Karaoke! Me, Ellen and a buncha girls. 2nd & 2nd! Come now!" I mean, how could I turn that down? I threw on a coat, and in a matter of minutes I was there! Here's me with with Ellen and Gurj who'd had a few drinks and were primed from some 'roke!
Before getting full-on into the "show me the ugliest face you can make" game, I figured we'd warm up with the "flare your nostrils and hold them open as long as you can" game. While I'm good at making ugly faces, I'm not so great at the whole nostril-flaring thing.
So it's right after Christmas, and I'd just gotten back in town and after getting settled in, I decided to head out late at night and say hi to some friends. I got to the Darkroom around 3am and right after I'd arrived, look who shows up? Asian Porno Lady! I called her over and asked her to show me some of her "racier" titles. As I was going through the stack of various pirated titles, I came across this one, entitled "The Horse Fucker", and knew she'd just found a new customer. Cha-ching!
Then at the end of the night Sarah paid up for losing the $40 bet we'd made about whether or not she'd ever make out with a certain guy (she said she wouldn't, I had bet that she eventually would).
Then I started showing off some of the advanced techniques I used to subtely sabotage "glamour shots" (because you can't always make a totally ridiculous, over-the-top face). Here's me demonstrating how, with a little practice, you can learn to cross just one eye a tiny bit and make it look like you have a floater-eye!
I got home around 2am and my mom was still up! First time ever! (My mom usually starts sleeping on the couch around 9pm and then after a two hour nap, wakes up at 11pm so that she can go to bed proper!). I guess that new "Sexiest Man Alive" issue of People Magazine must've been keepin' her up!
Hell, by the time the song was finished, I'd even managed to win over the lead singer dude and he suggested that I sing a second song! (And I don't even remember what song it was - only that I knew it even less-well than the Lit song).
So after a few songs, the band, (who I've since found out is called Drunk Uncle Bob) took a break. I pulled the singer aside and this time I managed to convince him to let me sing a song! Then after he agreed to let me do it, it almost didn't happen because I didn't know most of the songs in the bands repertoire. In the end I managed to convince him that I sorta knew the words to My Own Worst Enemy by Lit and that I'd be able to wing it. Check out the singer's expression: totally annoyed because I'm messing up the words. Hahah.
Me and a guy named Billy Lashavicke (sp?) who I don't think I even said like 10 words to in all the 6 years we went to school together - but then 11 years and three Scotches later and you're best buds!
On the walk home it got really cold and I borrowed one of Amy's hats and it instantly transformed me into a Swede. "Hallo, I am Johann Von Hatsenfluergen."
Later that night, Meredith came over with good news and bad news. The good news was she was finally ready to get back together. The bad news was that she wanted me to read the book Men Are Mars, Women Are from Venus. (Which, and I never thought in a million years that I'd actually say this, I learned a lot from and actually totally changed our relationship for the better!)
On Thursday night my parents came in to town and I took them out to dinner. I look like my mother almost as much as my dad looks like Peter Griffin (The Family Guy). Hahah.
Scott Ian from Anthrax!!! First Emilie's boyfriend turns out to be in NIN, and then I end up at a party with Scott Ian??? It's like all the wishes I made back in 1987 finally came true! (Now if I could only get a handjob from Samantha Foxx....)
And we finally got to meet Emilie's new boyfriend Alessandro! Beyond being one of the nicest guys I've ever met, he got extra bonus points for being a member of Nine Inch Nails.
