a person in 802 photos in 2004

me

296 1897 3398 799 3600 7201 30202 70303 80204 39505 38206 36807 29608 37409 28610 21011 12712 15013 9214 17315 17716 20317 10318

showing 2004 only · show all years

appears with…

Besides getting some great boob pics at the party, I also won a $20 bet. This girl was talking about the movie Goonies and turned and asked me "Hey, what was the name of the lumpy head guy?" "Sloth," I told her. "Sloth Fratelli." She was like "That's not even close." Anyway, I was positive that it was this his name. We were gonna Google it, but no computers were around. In the end, we decided that we'd walk around the party and ask other party-goers the same question. If at least five other people, unprompted by me, named the lumpy-headed character in question as "Sloth," I'd win $20. If, I couldn't find five partygoers to corraborate, I'd have to pay her $20. Needless to say, I had that shit wrapped up in about three minutes. Here's me with the girl I made the bet with. Hahah. (Just for the record, I'm so right.)

It takes me about ten seconds to spot a rowdy, drunk girl in a crowd. I started goofing around with her and snapping pics...

A party tit flash!

First self-portrait of the year.

Who's my best friend? Awwww.

As much as we love each other, we had to break our embrace before the countdown ended.

..Pee Break!

Awww.

...to hop the L train to Williamsburg where we ran into...

Grant has mastered the art of jumping and making "relaxing looking" faces. Most times when I end up doing it, I'm making a face like I'm pooping.

At best, I manage to look surprised.

Which usually leads to some Holiday cock-touchin.

We left the party and headed back to Beford to catch the subway. Check out this "off to see the Wizard" shot that either Katie or Siege managed to snap. Hahaha.

And then quickly learned why she's so good at giving them...she bites. I hate it.

I tried my best to give Meredith a hickey (I had no sucess either).

That ain' coo.

First ugly-face of the year!

Duet time!

Liam schooling me on dinosaurs!

Abby agin.

I have no idea why Emily and I are making these awesome faces. I only know that they're awesome.

I even managed to get a kiss!

In fact, we never actually lost a game; instead, we decided to retire (and leave Pat's in general) when one of the really drunk patrons who was tired of us winning (and probably tired of me being there with the only three women who had full sets of teeth) threw a pool cue at me. Despite having about 6" and 50lbs on the guy - it was Jesus' Birthday so we decided it best to be on our Merry way (well that, and the fact that I'm a huge pussy).

Rachael and me (I'm just noticing now how much that black sweater of mine shrunk in the was - it's starting to looking like a god-damned baby-tee. Jesus.)

Because I didn't help cook, I got voted to be the dishwasher. Bollocks.

Here's the Xmas Dinner pic. Jordan, Jeanine, Pappi, My mom, Dave and Pat Litte and Mer and me.

Here's Merdith and my Christmas portrait impression of my parent's matching outfits.

Mmmmm...pan-fried pierogies before bed.

After we were done opening presents, we had a contest to see who could turn the Christmas tree on from the greatest distance (the tree's hooked up to a clapper, remember?). Here's me celebrating my win all the way from across the room. My dad said my ability to clap the loudest probalby had something to do with my "callused palms." Whatever that means. hahaha.

Here's me with my portable Wolverine drive! (When you're traveling, you can copy over the pictures from your full memory cards to this little bad boy, then erase the cards and keep shooting).

(I only got red sparkle-glue on mine.)

After the party, we came back to my house and snuck up to my old high school bedroom to write cards and wrap gifts (and no, my room didn't look like that in high school. I had waaaay more Iron Maiden posters up. Somewhere in the twelve years since I moved out, my mom redecorated my room and turned it into Wussland. Maiden still rules, though. Seriously).

Lefties write funny.

Writing out last minute sentiments to Maw and Paw.

Here's me with my comedy shirt from Aunt Barb and Uncle Tom!

Woooo!

...New Jersey Lottery Scratch Offs! Hahah.

We raided the stockings and found the usual goodies....

...and here's me and Mer. (You love my Christmas sweater - go on, say it).

All of the kids usually end up hiding in the corner by the food and get krunked on free Scotch! Check out my huge, mooney I'm drunk at 2pm face. Hahah.

I lost.

These are Meredith photos of where I was teaching my mom a game where you take turns pretending you're laughing in an attempt to make the other person laugh for real.

On Friday morning, my dad and I hit the town to do some last minute Christmas shopping.

Me and Amy Albano!

On Thursday, Meredith and I took the train out to NJ to my parents. Then we hopped in their car and headed down to south Jersey to visit the Birds (they're my Great Uncle and Aunt). Here's me with my dad.

And what better way to head into New Jersey than with a supertight 50%-spandex muscle tee?

I'll kick this entry off in Meredith's apartment with a re-cap of a few of the presents I received - here are my glow in the dark skull socks!

No, you're the man now, dawg!

(I think Meredith had the winning comment for this photo when she said "Who looks like a moring-after tranny hooker in this photo? Nope, sorry Grant. That's not the correct answer." Hahaha.)

Oh my!

Only because her nipples wanted all the attention. (Hahaha. Amy look at the look you're giving me out of only ONE eye. Hahahaha).

If you ever see me fixing you with my smoldering sex-stare, it probably means that you're about to get...

Me and Vin. (Boy! Everyone's got a website these days!)

Grant and company decided to get "glammed" up for the first show. By the second show, they'd decided to call it quits with the make up. Mostly because I think Grant realized that when he's made up he looks like a tranny-version of his super-hot (Lindsay Lohan lookalike) sister, Gemma.

Here's what Grant thinks of me. Hahah.

While Jake was shaving his giant, hairy nuts - Grant and I headed over to Lit for Colin's late night basement karaoke.

Karen loves my brunch ettiquette.

Me wearing Sarah's Coke-Disco54 glasses.

Emily doesn't approve of my messy eating.

Hahaha.

...awwww yeah, me. Still number one! Still number one!

Mad props to Meredith for managing to keep her cool while being sandwiched between two ha-ha-hunks in man-kinis. I don't know how she did it.

Who's that lucky foggy lady in the middle?

There's nothing worse than "outgrowing" a swimsuit.

Scotch in the hot tub? Who's more 1978 than us?

Back at my parents house later that night we all decided to take a hot tub! The only swimsuit I could find was the one I was given from when we dressed up as Grease Mermen for the Mermaid Parade all the way back in 2001!

I don't mind other people being really funny as long as they don't mind me laughing so hard that I get really ugly. This was my reaction to Scott trying to trick Grant into confessing that he'd used Sun In in his hair.

Up at Scott's we watched TV and played with Cleatus.

Arrrrgh! 'Tis a pirate's Thanksgiving, Matey!

Here are the fruits of his labor though. Well worth the wait!

Results: Inconclusive.

Me, Meredith and Grant all dressed up for dinner.

Meredith took some nice photos. And then took some pictures of Grant...

Me and Timmy the Gay. (I haven't had a tetanus shot in years and apparently lockjaw finally caught up with me. Why can't I seem to close my mouth in photos?)

Are there any pictures of Lauren Flax and I in existence where I'm not getting a full-on honking handful of her tit?

The Living Things. (Eve, I love you!)

And there Jerseygirl hits keep on coming! Smellsgood Gina (aka - Gina BonJersey) was there too!

Holy shit, is Meredith's friend pulling a "get a load of this guy" face on me?

We checked the calendar and, wouldn't you know it, November 22nd was "Matching Hair Day!"

Where, for some reason, I randomly decided to start smoking again. (This was the first cigarette I'd had in years!)

And grabbed a coupla beers at Lakeside Lounge.

...we walked back into Manhattan from Siege and Katie's via the Billyburg Bridge.

After Meredith and I bid farewell to David Bacon, we saw a movie and then headed out to Williamsburg for Sunday Movie Night at Siege and Katie's! They invited a bunch of people over to watch the 80s classic: The Karate Kid. When Siege answered the door he informed us that it was...

On Sunday, Meredith and I met up with David ______ for brunch. (You're seeing that blank space there because after some of his co-workers Googled David's name and found pics of him on this site fingerblasting some girl on the dancefloor from a few years ago he's insisted I stop using his full name. Hahahahahah).

"What's that you say? Ruffled shirts turn you on?"

"Then why don't you snuggle on up and rub yourself all over the ruffles? Yeah, that's it. Like that."

...MisShapes. Hahah.

Roddy, Sarah and me.

Friday night we took it easy. Beers at Blue & Gold...

Back at Meredith's I whipped out my laptop to do some work and she fired her's up as well so she could work next to me (because she loves being a nerd like that).

After bidding farewell to the Nerve folks (Michael Martin refused to let me photograph him) I had to pass David and Miye's new store on Elizabeth street. David pulls "Blue Steel" as I model one of their store's funny hats.

Miye's making that face because she's trying really hard to resist an overwhelming urge to FUCK ME. (Seriously, that hat drives ladies cuh-razy).

Fresh off a plane from Vegas, I hit the Lower EAst Side to meet up with Meredith...

Shhhhh! Ruffles!

Here's us with an elder Klingon. The two people on the left hammed in on our photo opp because they were too scared to ask the other younger Klingon for a photo. (That's how seriously intimidating he was! Other adults were too scared to ask him for a photo! Hahahahah).

Oh wait, you mean you thought I was kidding about there being Klingons walking around in there? Seriously, as funny as this picture is, this guy was TOTALLY intimidating. He had a deep, booming voice and refused to break from his Klingon character in any way. Imagine being all drunk and having this dude come over and be like "Tell me: your mission is going well?" And when you try to fuck with him or laugh he just glares and says something else equally abrasive in Klingon (yes, Klingon as in the made up language that nerds have actually taught themselves to speak ). Too fucking much. After like ten minutes of awkward, forced sci-fi non-conversation (half of it in a made-up language, no less), I finally convinced him to let me "capture our likeness together on my holographic print cube." Jesus.

Next we took it up a notch (from DorkFactor4 to DorkFactor7 if you were wondering) and did the "Borg" themed 3-D movie ride. This photo's blurry because you're not supposed to take pics and right as I was taking it, some huge guy in god-damned Klingon outfit screamed "NO PHOTOS!" at me over the PA and this almost turned into a blurry photo of Philip and I crapping in our pants.

After getting our Warp Core buzz on, we decided to hit the Star Trek-themed rides in the Star Trek-themed casino. First we went on one of those rides where you get in a theater that's on hydraulic lifts and when stuff on the screen moves the pistons shake the shit out of the little box you're in and it feels like you're moving. These rides are great sober, but throw in a Warp Core Breach and the fun's only magnified!

On Friday I hung out with the girls. They acted tough and made sexy pouty faces like they were from the 40s.

Then I met up with one of my good friend's arch enemies (die! die! die!). Hey, don't I know you from somewhere? Hahahaha.

Well, it turns out that Brandon Buckley (who I went to high school with) was playing drums for Minnie Driver that night (he also plays drums for Shakira! Woo!) and two other kids I went to high school with were there to see him! Here's me with Alex _____ and Larry Grodeska! They were both two years older than me and I hadn't seen either of them since 1992!