i keep a diary

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We got to my parents house in NJ and found my brother all excited after months of (f)unemployment to finally be able to show proof of gainful employment by busting out one of his brand new business cards that announce him as a consultant for Ascenture. (Check out how happy my Mom is! No more hand outs! No more hand outs!) If you've been reading my site for a while, you know that anytime I'm visiting my family in New Jersey for a holiday, there's always one thing that needs to be done...
thanksgiving
November 25, 2004
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Hardy-har-har.
back in nyc again: part one
November 18, 2004
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Well, Brett and I watched. Sid drunkenly slurred obscenities and gibberish at them.
brett visits for halloween in san francisco
October 29, 2004
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The only thing funnier than the back or Mr. T's head is my brother's totally butt-ass wasted shit-eating grin. Just one bottle of Night Train and he was chortling like a wheezy hobo! Hahaha.
brett visits for halloween in san francisco
October 29, 2004
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This is Kareen's SGBFF (super-gay best friend forever) whose name I've totally since forgotten. In addition to making more gay innuendos in a night than are in an entire season of Will and Grace, he's also a fan of chest-nuzzlin' and titty biting. Here he is giving Amber a little titty-nuzzle (note that he doesn't even have to bend down to do so!)...
the october roundup
October, 2004
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...the gnarly, terror-tastic lower-boob hickey she'd received the night before. Sweet Maria!
back in nyc
October 21, 2004
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Oh, lookee here! Look who's gloating? (She's only laughing because she has no idea that this one time would be the ONLY TIME SHE'S EVER BEAT ME AT SCRABBLE! Bwa-ahahahahaha!)
meredith visits san francisco
September 25, 2004
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Which she totally loved.
meredith visits san francisco
September 25, 2004
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Then late on Sunday night, a super-nice girl Jane (who has a friend in NYC who reads my site and told her that I was moving to SF and didn't know anyone out there....so nice!) invited me to garden party. I was wiped out from walking around all day and I had to get up for work, but I decided to swing by and at least say hi and try to meet some people. By the time I got there, things were winding down, but I did manage to see a GIRLFIGHT on the way out! Check out the double-knee shoulder pin in full-effect. (You know that means that she totally has brothers that she had to learn to defend herself against.
the september roundup: life in san francisco
September, 2004
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First up...
moving to san francisco going away party: part one
August 24, 2004
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Big sleepy guy sleeping on top of the sheets! (Check out Doug's precious "I look like an eight year-old" smile).
last month in nyc: the august roundup part two
August, 2004
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On the walk home I realized that Meredith and Leigh's yellow and red hoodies made them look like they were playing "Mustard" and "Ketchup" in a 2nd Grade musical about the lunchroom.
doug visits town
August 22, 2004
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Hahaha. Best pic ever.
doug visits town
August 22, 2004
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I'm not sure I handed my camera over to at this point but as you'll be able to see over the next few pics, they managed to grab some clutch snaps. I didn't even know I was capable of making a face like this. (Check out Leigh in the background losing her shit. Hahaha).
doug visits town
August 22, 2004
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Later that night, my good friend Doug rolled into town from Boston (after having just returned from two years living in Prague).
last month in nyc: the august roundup part two
August, 2004
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Inside at our table. Grant cracking up about something.
frank and liz's wedding party
August 15, 2004
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On Saturday afternoon, I went out to Brooklyn for Emilie's "I'm moving to LA" farewell party - which crescendoed into a cake-fight finale!
last month in nyc: the august roundup part one
August, 2004
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Meredith wrestled Grant down and then proceeded to administer...
last month in nyc: the august roundup part one
August, 2004
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There you go!
karaoke at amy's friend's birthday party
August 06, 2004
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...sushi. David moved up to Woodstock for his job and I hardly get to see him anymore (boo!).
the july roundup: part two
July, 2004
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Charlene listens in passive horror while Grant cracks up.
the july roundup: part one
July, 2004
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Best picture ever. Stuart yukking it up with Grant about "wabbs." (Which is an Essex colloquialism for "big ol' titties." As in "Check out the huge wabbs on that bird.")
the july roundup: part one
July, 2004
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Awwwwww! Happy Birthday Karen! (Note Sparks colored roof of mouth. Hahah).
brunch and karens 23rd birthday party at misshapes
June 26, 2004
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Dennis slipping Audrey a little "hot dog in the bun" action on the dance floor.
bbq and misshapes
May 29, 2004
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Who's a dirty little monkey?
welcome back grant party
February 26, 2004
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Oh how sweet it is to be back.
the january roundup
January, 2004
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Happy boy.
back to back sid & buddy karaoke
November 19, 2003
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Here's me at laughing at Grant getting mad at Fatty for taking funny pictures of him.
european vacation part 8: scooter madness!
October 25, 2003
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Later that night while walking around the East Village, we ran into "Pastel Man." I tried to get Grant to pretend he was doing something picture-worthy so that I could get a few sneaky pictures of his amazing outfit, but Grant started totally cracking up and Pastel Man caught on to what we were doing. I only managed to get this pic before he managed to get away. See you next Easter!
the september roundup part two
September, 2003
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Black people love us!
cake party part four
August 27, 2003
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Here's Fatty telling his amazing story (complete with hand gestures) about a Russian girl he'd met through online dating who was only interested in getting her "rear emmissions checked" (if you know what I'm sayin'). Look at Frank's face, he's totally caught in the middle of saying "Duuuuude."
two bbqs and karaoke
August 16, 2003
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CHA-CHING!
pick up lines at the ford modeling party
August 13, 2003
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She was like "Why are you all laughing?" and started to walk away. I managed to convice her that we were just happy to meet such cute girls and Seth got his act together in time to snap this pic.
boys weekend in newport part three: saturday night
August 01, 2003
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After months of getting people to willingly pose with my balls, it was time to try something new: getting unsuspecting people to unknowingly pose with my balls. I discreetly whipped out my bag, and grabbed one of our new friends for a picture. I handed off the cam to Seth who totally shit the bed by not managing to get my balls in the pic. Doh! The rest of the guys in the pic (Check out Grant and Franks' faces) were laughing so hard that the girl in the black shirt was totally confused...
boys weekend in newport part three: saturday night
August 01, 2003
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Funny stories were told.
bidness in los angeles
July 24, 2003
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...after he slept throught that it was time to pull out the big guns and throw 220lbs of Fatty on him. Hahaha.
saturday park dinner at suba and karaoke
June 28, 2003
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The women's heat.
move the god-damned shed
June 21, 2003
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See that lady in the background? She wanted more coffee - but instead of calling the waitress over, she held up her coffee cup in the air with her arm fully extended for like an entire minute. I fumbled to get the camera out, but by the time I managed to turn the flash off and snap a pic, the waitress had arrived to take care of her.
memorial day out in nj
May 26, 2003
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Emma leaned down laughing and put her hair right into a candle that was lit on the table. I was torn between putting it out (which I did) or firing up the cam and getting a pic of her aflame.
emma's 30th birthday: part two
May 21, 2003
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Much like Emma was driven to tears at the last karaoke outing, Michael caused a few tears to be shed that night, yes he did.
lorelei's 31st birthday
April 08, 2003
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3:30am pizza.
saturday night out
April 04, 2003
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I escaped, unscathed. (...for now...)
grant gets gay
March 27, 2003
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Grant with Scott "Bizarro Dave" Weinstein.
tiffany's birthday
March 01, 2003
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Um, yeah. Go Lauren.
filter 14
February 26, 2003
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Oh, and we got a little tipsy.
random february pics
February, 2003
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Here's my reaction shot with Lisa after she had finished lip-wrassling with Mr. M.
nerve and spring streets' holiday party
January 16, 2003
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Marco and Vin.
new year's eve
December 31, 2002
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And here's Em & Lo hysterically laughing after Grant opened his gift and started getting all "extra sensitive" on them
grant's 26th birthday
November 04, 2002
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At some point in the early morning, my roommate's cat walked into the living room with something in his mouth. Which closer investigation revealed to be this severed mouse head! UGH! Here's Scott laughing hysterically and posing with it.
scott's 27th birthday
October 26, 2002
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Amy thwarts some would-be bar-hussy that was giving Chris the eye.
chris and mandy get married
September 21, 2002
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Who is that handsome, suburban Dad on tha go?
little dashiell martin
September 14, 2002
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So long sweet summer...
two days at fort tilden
September 07, 2002
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Eric and Peter (Part 3). Look at their fucking faces....ohmygod is that shit funny.
geeks gone wild
August 07, 2002
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Jim, Eric and Peter.
geeks gone wild
August 07, 2002
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Messy-haired Lo.
nh vacation part seven: the ride back home
July 29, 2002
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Hardee-har-har. So now I'm wearing girly make-up and I figure that if I choose "dare" again, they'll reward me for being a good sport and this time I'll get to make out. Too bad I was half right. They wanted me to make out, but they wanted me to make out with Joey. When I informed them that I wouldn't kiss him with tongue, the girls conferred in the corner and then came back to announce that in lieu of us kissing, they'd decided that they'd prefer to watch us have what they called "A Sword-fight."

For a brief moment, it sounded like a win-win alternative until I realized that there were no actual swords in the vicinity.
nh vacation part three: there is no such thing as nh nightlife
July 27, 2002
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David.
lucky cheng karaoke
June 28, 2002
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Grant's falsetto antics never fail to be a crowd pleaser.
lucky cheng karaoke
June 28, 2002
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Tee-hee-hee.
meet david forman
June 04, 2002
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After getting out we headed down to sub-mercer to say hi to my friend Peter who was spinning. Joey ended up buying a drink (which at sub-mercer is like $12). So after we leave the club, he all pulls these two glasses out from under his shirt. When we asked him why he took them, he dropped science explaining "If I'm going to pay that much for a drink, I'm going to keep the glass.....er, plus some other glass too."
idiots in an elevator
May 16, 2002
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Van shennanigans. From left: Malko, Midore, Holubek (driving), Pellegrin, Ganapathy...
teen loft party
May 11, 2002
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Amazing.
nerve make-out party
February 21, 2002
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Let's get this party started right! (I think this is my absolute favorite picture of Melissa!)
one messy weekend
January 11, 2002
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No more pee. Thumbs up! (I'm surprised this picture isn't blurry considering how violently I was laughing when I took it.)
midget madness
December 21, 2001
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Okay, here's where things started to get a little out of hand. Mary showed her boobies.
a very merry drunk's xmas
December 12, 2001
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Shortly afterwards, Tony decided to leave Modem Media to take a job at GE Capital. We sent him off with class at the Black Duck.
hibachi with compaq
September, 1998
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Allie takes Ryan's pants off leaving him writhing on my floor in front of all of his friends in his Tighty-Whities. Yikes. After all of this, Allie left (as did about half the party because they were traumatized). But anyway, the hardcore friends stuck around and we still had a great time. (largely in part because of Matty who kept the music coming. Thanks Matt.)
jess and ryan's stripper birthday bash
November 15, 1997
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Look at this bastard!
archers of loaf with doug
October 24, 1997