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me×!ugly face×

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...and ugly faces.
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Ugly faces!
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It was time to teach Juni and Juliette about ugly face pics!
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I'm pretty much phoning it in here, but the fact that my eyes are facing in directions almost ninety degrees apart has got to count for something.
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Faces like this.
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Ugly face! They trick is to get your two eyes to go in slightly different directions. Wonky eye!
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Yahtzee! Third time's clearly the charm.
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Take two. Getting better.
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The first two pics we took were entirely too normal looking so we decided to go the ugly face route. Here's our first team effort.
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Yep, I went there.
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Teamwork, man. Teamwork.
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...was in the process of smiling when I went to make my ugly face! We promised that we'd rehearse over the next couple of days.
doug and inka visit
September 05, 2007
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Later that night, we made ugly faces in the mirror together...
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I stepped in with my triple threat masterpiece! The Wonky Eye / Slit Mouth / Neck-Wrinkle Combo! POW!
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...means that we were all acting like this by the time our entrees showed up.
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Then we made ugly faces!
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Certainly not this guy.
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Hahaha.
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Fried macaroni makes my stomach feel like this.
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Add a little Jenny Penny and you've got an ugly face trio!
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Brian and Sarah ugly-face duet!
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Hehehe.
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Then we made stupid faces!
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Ugly face time!
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Take two!
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Hahahaha.
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Hahaha.
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...and managed to upstage MY ugly face!
the august roundup
August, 2006
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Happy June! Meeeeeeh!
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And now we'll briefly interrupt all the puppy-pics for a picture of me trying my best to make my eyes go in different directions! I've sort of got it down...I can make one eye go crossed and the other go pretty straight. But I've got nothing...
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Oh, look! A new ugly face! I call this one "Retarded Mantis!"
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On Thursday night, I went out and met up with Leigh for another really mellow night of making stupid faces. Hahaha.
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...promptly made more appropriate faces. Hahahaha.
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...I think it's safe to say that Meredith and my TEAM UGLY FACE prevailed. The best thing about "UGLY FACE" is that it usually always leads to you making friends with people who overhear you laughing and are like "Yo, what the FUCK are you guys doing?" And then after you explain their like "Oh..."
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My ugly face! (Hahahah. Jesus. I know I've done this face like a million times and I should be used to it...but even I've got to say that this particular instance is shockingly ugly!
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Jack came into the back room where we were all holed up and was like "Uh, there's a party going on, dudes. Why are you all hiding out in my bedroom by yourselves?" So I explained that we were busy taking dumb pics of ourselves making ugly faces and didn't want to impose our lameness on the rest of the party. Then I showed him this face.
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I made my trademark "disappearing chin" face and Missy was awestruck by the wrinkles of skin that were bunching up around my (missing!) jawline.
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Just because you don't want to willingly participate in an ugly face contest doesn't necessarily mean that you're off the hook. Hahah.
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...another stupid face contest broke out. If I remember correctly, this one was about making your best "vampire face." Here's mine.
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And here's one I call "Dr. Shit-Teeth."
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Then I showed off one of my old favorites. This is the stretch-face with a floater-eye thrown in for good measure. Ok ladies, your turn!
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Here's me showing the girls one of newer, experimental faces. I call this one Dr. Dry Lip.
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Here's me trying to show Ellen my secret weapon: The Disappearing Chin.
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I busted out my best "float-eye"...
ugly face karaoke
December 01, 2005
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No, more like THIS! Hahaha.
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Yours truly!
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After everyone had given it their best, I busted out my showstopper. Just when I thought I was the undisputed champ...
the december roundup
December, 2005
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Then I started showing off some of the advanced techniques I used to subtely sabotage "glamour shots" (because you can't always make a totally ridiculous, over-the-top face). Here's me demonstrating how, with a little practice, you can learn to cross just one eye a tiny bit and make it look like you have a floater-eye!
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Then we made our sexy faces.
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David and I retired Blue Steel and decided to spend the night taking pictures pretending that we'd both just caught a whiff of fresh dogshit.
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I guess that's it for February 2005. Woot woot!
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Eureka! This one's perfect. Holy shit we're fucking ugly. No wonder neither of us can ever get laid!
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Mine's even better in this pic but Siege is looking downright cute. That won't do at all!
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Outside Siege and I tried to make the ugliest faces that we could. Pretty good.
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First ugly-face of the year!
new years eve 2004
December 31, 2004
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Then kicked it into high gear and made some really stupid faces.
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Hahahahah. Holy fuck. Who knew Justin Timberlake had a brother with Down's Syndrome?
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That evening we all put on our most festivest Christmas sweaters (check out the bright green v-neck I dug up in my dad's closet)...
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Me, resurrecting my impression of Ricky Schroeder with Down's Syndrome, and Jen.
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Me. ("Smoosh it good!")
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I love stupid photo projects. This one's called "Smoosh Your Face."
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...sculpting our sweaty hair into comical 'do's. Keep in mind, the power's been only around seven hours and we're already reduced to stuff like this. Ashamed and discouraged, we all realized that the sooner we just went to bed, the sooner we might wake up to discover that the power would be back on.
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...put them down. Hoo-ah. *Blech* *Gurgle* *Sputter* Check out Jagermeister suddenly transforming me into Dobby from Harry Potter. Jesus.
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....could make a stupider face with it on.
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Hey lover of "Pietro,"
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I put the hat on, the shades on and then I did the robot. Top that! Top that! Top that-th-th-that, th-that, that!
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Tara and I.
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Hahahaha.
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Also on hand was Matt Weiner; an RHS alumnus, a Syracuse alumnus and he lives right down the goddamned street from me in NYC. For those of you new to my site, Matt is so revered for making faces that there have been contests held to pay homage.
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Just when I thought things couldn't get any better, Ami busted out an Orgasmo Head Massager and went to work on my scalp. Look at my face...I'll tell you what, bliss sure ain't purty.
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Touch it! Touch it!
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Yo, not to toot my own horn or anything, but you gotsta to admit: that's one ugly motherfucking face. Not only have I managed to make my chin completely disappear, I get style points for the gross way my neck has like eight rows of skin bunching up (Ew!).
Score: 8 out of 10
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You like-a the schmooshed face?
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left to right: Doug, Me and Mike making stupid faces. Taken in my car heading down to the bars on M-Street on homecoming day.