And now we'll briefly interrupt all the puppy-pics for a picture of me trying my best to make my eyes go in different directions! I've sort of got it down...I can make one eye go crossed and the other go pretty straight. But I've got nothing...
...I think it's safe to say that Meredith and my TEAM UGLY FACE prevailed. The best thing about "UGLY FACE" is that it usually always leads to you making friends with people who overhear you laughing and are like "Yo, what the FUCK are you guys doing?" And then after you explain their like "Oh..."
My ugly face! (Hahahah. Jesus. I know I've done this face like a million times and I should be used to it...but even I've got to say that this particular instance is shockingly ugly!
Jack came into the back room where we were all holed up and was like "Uh, there's a party going on, dudes. Why are you all hiding out in my bedroom by yourselves?" So I explained that we were busy taking dumb pics of ourselves making ugly faces and didn't want to impose our lameness on the rest of the party. Then I showed him this face.
Then I started showing off some of the advanced techniques I used to subtely sabotage "glamour shots" (because you can't always make a totally ridiculous, over-the-top face). Here's me demonstrating how, with a little practice, you can learn to cross just one eye a tiny bit and make it look like you have a floater-eye!
...sculpting our sweaty hair into comical 'do's. Keep in mind, the power's been only around seven hours and we're already reduced to stuff like this. Ashamed and discouraged, we all realized that the sooner we just went to bed, the sooner we might wake up to discover that the power would be back on.
Also on hand was Matt Weiner; an RHS alumnus, a Syracuse alumnus and he lives right down the goddamned street from me in NYC. For those of you new to my site, Matt is so revered for making faces that there have been contests held to pay homage.
Just when I thought things couldn't get any better, Ami busted out an Orgasmo Head Massager and went to work on my scalp. Look at my face...I'll tell you what, bliss sure ain't purty.
Yo, not to toot my own horn or anything, but you gotsta to admit: that's one ugly motherfucking face. Not only have I managed to make my chin completely disappear, I get style points for the gross way my neck has like eight rows of skin bunching up (Ew!).
Score: 8 out of 10